# I'm not baptized. My MIL prays for my soul. Not sure I'm comfy with that **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 26, 2012, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860 "2012-03-26T17:49:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![rat\_avatar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rat_avatar/32/255_2.png) [@rat\_avatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rat_avatar)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/101 "2012-03-28T06:16:52Z")
> [@hoopified](#): > > the poster called out santorum, romney, and gingrich. I asked for citations that supported his/her assertion. > > I can see that you’re beyond reasonable discussion. common with liberals, I’ve found. My quotes were evidence and my nick is not “google” [http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/05/16/gingrich-democrats-want-impose-secular-socialist-machine/](http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/05/16/gingrich-democrats-want-impose-secular-socialist-machine/) [Another one…and no AA doesn’t work, we allow churches to be tax free they don’t need secular money if they want to push belief. Not because of the belief but because it gives the idea that government endorses one religion over another.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dv-T_nXN1M&feature=related) [Rick Santorum Against “Privileges” for Gays](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duQCsbtYi5M) “Satan is attacking the great institutions of America, using those great vices of pride, vanity, and sensuality as the root to attack all of the strong plants that has so deeply rooted in the American tradition…This is a spiritual war. And the Father of Lies has his sights on: a good, decent, powerful, influential country–the United States of America.” ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/102 "2012-03-28T13:18:09Z")
Penn Jilette of Penn & Teller and vehement atheist had an interesting take that I tend to agree with. If a person truly believes in a doctrine that only Christians (and in your MIL’s case baptised) can be saved, then for them to NOT try and convert you is an evil act since by their theology, they are allowing you to make decisions that condemn your soul to Hell for eternity. ---
**Author:** ![hoopified](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cab0a1/32.png) [@hoopified](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hoopified)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/103 "2012-03-28T14:40:49Z")
> [@rat\_avatar](#): > > My quotes were evidence and my nick is not “google” > > [http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/05/16/gingrich-democrats-want-impose-secular-socialist-machine/](http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/05/16/gingrich-democrats-want-impose-secular-socialist-machine/) > [Another one…and no AA doesn’t work, we allow churches to be tax free they don’t need secular money if they want to push belief. Not because of the belief but because it gives the idea that government endorses one religion over another.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dv-T_nXN1M&feature=related) > [Rick Santorum Against “Privileges” for Gays](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duQCsbtYi5M) > > “Satan is attacking the great institutions of America, using those great vices of pride, vanity, and sensuality as the root to attack all of the strong plants that has so deeply rooted in the American tradition…This is a spiritual war. And the Father of Lies has his sights on: a good, decent, powerful, influential country–the United States of America.” And you have yet to cite a policy position from any of these candidates that is “forcing one’s beliefs on another”. The best you can come up with is doma. And that isn’t forcing anything, it’s simply maintaining the status quo. With a few exceptions, gay marriage is illegal now. ---
**Author:** ![hoopified](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cab0a1/32.png) [@hoopified](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hoopified)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/104 "2012-03-28T14:41:55Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > Penn Jilette of Penn & Teller and vehement atheist had an interesting take that I tend to agree with. If a person truly believes in a doctrine that only Christians (and in your MIL’s case baptised) can be saved, then for them to NOT try and convert you is an evil act since by their theology, they are allowing you to make decisions that condemn your soul to Hell for eternity. And taking theological commentary from Penn and Teller is always a good idea. Do you really want to get into Christian doctrine? ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/105 "2012-03-28T17:26:05Z")
> [@hoopified](#): > > the poster called out santorum, romney, and gingrich. I asked for citations that supported his/her assertion. Citation was given. But seeing that they wrote it with disappearing ink on invisible paper, I can see why you didn’t notice it. I myself had to complete a 2 hour quest to obtain the necessary skill of SecretSight in order to read it, and I don’t think you’re strong enough to defeat the Orc guarding the Glasses of All-Seeing ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/106 "2012-03-28T21:59:41Z")
> [@hoopified](#): > > And taking theological commentary from Penn and Teller is always a good idea. Do you really want to get into Christian doctrine? Sure. \ ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/107 "2012-03-28T23:56:19Z")
> [@diggerwam](#): > > I was raised w/o religion and was not baptized. My mother had some religion but did not feel like people were born w/ original sin so therefore did not need to be baptized. My MIL has said that she prays for my soul. I’m not really comfortable with that knowledge. Obviously I can force her to stop and I’m sure prayer like this happens for non specific people all the time. She’s known me for 20 years. She knows I’m a good guy. I feel like she feels that we aren’t equals. Or else why pray. Please explain it to someone who is very unreligious and also why should I care what she does in the privacy if her own church. So all you are complaining that you think that she thinks that she is better? FFS take a few cups of cement and HTFU. Why is this even an issue? ---
**Author:** ![rat\_avatar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rat_avatar/32/255_2.png) [@rat\_avatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rat_avatar)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/108 "2012-03-29T00:06:57Z")
> [@sisu](#): > > So all you are complaining that you think that she thinks that she is better? > > FFS take a few cups of cement and HTFU. > > Why is this even an issue? The praying is harmless, but really what is the point of her telling his wife? What good does she think will come of it? The MIL is just being a stereotypical MIL but causing conflict in a family unit is quite a valid reason to post a question/rant on the interweb. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/109 "2012-03-29T00:16:03Z")
> [@rat\_avatar](#): > > The praying is harmless, but really what is the point of her telling his wife? Well, that is her daughter—doncha suppose they talk about stuff? ---
**Author:** ![rat\_avatar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rat_avatar/32/255_2.png) [@rat\_avatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rat_avatar)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/110 "2012-03-29T00:43:26Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Well, that is her daughter—doncha suppose they talk about stuff? No, I don’t find it helpful to talk negatively about anyone behind their back, nor is it helpful to infer your child’s choice in spouse was poor or unacceptable. Proverbs 16:28 > [@](#): > > A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/111 "2012-03-29T00:44:14Z")
If you press her on this she will hate you, try to poison your relationship with your wife, and write you out of her will. Let it go. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/112 "2012-03-29T01:35:01Z")
> [@rat\_avatar](#): > > No, I don’t find it helpful to talk negatively about anyone behind their back, nor is it helpful to infer your child’s choice in spouse was poor or unacceptable. I didn’t infer from the OP that the MIL was doing any of these things. How is praying for someone('s soul) necessarily negative? ---
**Author:** ![rat\_avatar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rat_avatar/32/255_2.png) [@rat\_avatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rat_avatar)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/113 "2012-03-29T01:51:44Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > I didn’t infer from the OP that the MIL was doing any of these things. How is praying for someone('s soul) necessarily negative? [QUOTE=rat avatar] The praying is harmless, but really what is the point of her telling his wife? What good does she think will come of it? The MIL is just being a stereotypical MIL but causing conflict in a family unit is quite a valid reason to post a question/rant on the interweb. [/QUOTE] Didn’t I say the praying was harmless? His MIL telling his wife was destructive, it puts her on the spot, she has to defend him, tell him etc… Her saying “I"m praying for him” is indicating disapproval. As per the OP > [@diggerwam](#): > > I was raised w/o religion and was not baptized. My mother had some religion but did not feel like people were born w/ original sin so therefore did not need to be baptized. My MIL has said that she prays for my soul. I’m not really comfortable with that knowledge. Obviously I can force her to stop and I’m sure prayer like this happens for non specific people all the time. She’s known me for 20 years. She knows I’m a good guy. I feel like she feels that we aren’t equals. Or else why pray. Please explain it to someone who is very unreligious and also why should I care what she does in the privacy if her own church. ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/114 "2012-03-29T01:53:10Z")
> [@rat\_avatar](#): > > The praying is harmless, but really what is the point of her telling his wife? Cause she cares if he goes to hell. > [@rat\_avatar](#): > > What good does she think will come of it? That they might come to church > [@rat\_avatar](#): > > The MIL is just being a stereotypical MIL but causing conflict in a family unit is quite a valid reason to post a question/rant on the interweb. I don’t see how she is causing conflict and guess what she still is her daughter. Really everyone is getting hysterical over nothing. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/115 "2012-03-29T01:58:30Z")
> [@](#): > > How is praying for someone('s soul) necessarily negative? It isn’t, but I seem to recall some impertinent chap saying to pray in private rather than in public and only to inform someone to their face if they’ve been sinning. ---
**Author:** ![rat\_avatar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rat_avatar/32/255_2.png) [@rat\_avatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rat_avatar)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/116 "2012-03-29T02:09:38Z")
> [@sisu](#): > > Cause she cares if he goes to hell. > > That they might come to church > > I don’t see how she is causing conflict and guess what she still is her daughter. > > Really everyone is getting hysterical over nothing. How is discussing manners, hysterical? f(not comfy) = 1/not comfy? There, have some thread Hyperbola for some Hyperbole. ---
**Author:** ![hoopified](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cab0a1/32.png) [@hoopified](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hoopified)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/117 "2012-03-29T13:09:41Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > Sure. > \ Great. Ready when you are. ---
**Author:** ![thelabdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@thelabdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelabdude)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/118 "2012-03-29T13:43:31Z")
> [@cckerberos](#): > > Will it, though? > > If everyone has to accept Jesus of their own free will, what effect can another’s prayers have? I think the majority, but not all, of those thinking of themselves as Christians agree with me that we are saved by our faith and accepting Jesus’ dying on the cross to atone for our sins. Others see things differently. None of us should want anybody to burn in Hell. Any of us failing to forgive others and wanting to see them burn in Hell are endangering our own salvation. See the Lord’s Prayer. So for most of us we need to pray for Jesus to enter into the unbelievers hearts and for them to accept the grace. Your aunt may be of a tradition that thinks they can affect your salvation by praying for you. As for baptism, I don’t feel it necessary to have somebody else sprinkle you or dunk you in water. I struggled with the Bible’s clear message that you must be baptized when it is a work by another. The only work that counts is Jesus’ death on the cross. When I became part of the Friends church, their explanation that baptism is being immersed in the Holy Spirit made a lot of sense to me. Even if you find her misguided, and she is at odds to the Bible’s teaching, she means well. Quietly thank her and quickly bring up something else. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/119 "2012-03-29T14:04:17Z")
> [@hoopified](#): > > Keep trying. > > DOMA laws are seeking to keep marriage traditionally defined. There’s no furthering of some agenda, there’s only seeking the status quo. > > Please try to focus. Name ONE proposal by any candidate that is overtly religious, that is by design seeking to enforce religious dogma of any kind, that prevents you from doing anything you’re doing right now. Why does a law have to prevent somebody from doing something they’re doing right now to qualify as religious oppression? In any event, DOMA prevents two people who are lawfully married in one state from enjoying the benefits of marriage in another. Anyway, DOMA-type legislation has nothing to do with “keeping marriage traditionally defined”. In a traditional marriage, the male was the head of the household and the female had few or no rights. Traditional marriage was effectively abolished in the US by the [Married Womens’ Property Acts](http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/awhhtml/awlaw3/property_law.html) in the late nineteenth century and [marital rape laws](http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/main.aspx?dbName=DocumentViewer&DocumentID=32701) in the 1970s. > [@](#): > > …to buttress your point, you will have to show that someone or some group is wishing that creationism replaces science curriculum, thereby reducing the amount or quality of knowledge students receive. Adding creationism to science curricula unambiguously _does_ reduce the amount or quality of knowledge that students receive. I assume you will accept the premises that the amount of time schools devote to science classes is limited, yes? Creationism isn’t science. If students are learning it in science classes, they have less time to learn the things science class is for. ---
**Author:** ![GoodOmens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@GoodOmens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GoodOmens)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860/120 "2012-03-29T15:03:17Z")
I’ve had similar experiences with my in-laws (Episcopaleans). The understand that I am not religious; I used to attend church with them when I visited on a Sunday because it’s important to the family, but that faded over time. I think they finally get it. Even so, they sometimes make comments to me or to others, along the lines that I’m really a Christian but don’t know it. This is in the context of situations when I’ve been helpful in unexpected ways (picking up a pile of gifts that had been gathered at the church for distribution to the poor, going on a service trip to post-Katrina New Orleans, offering to donate part of my liver). At first I bristled…I’m NOT Christian, and I DO know it. I eventually decided to take it in the spirit it’s meant. They’re just saying that I’m a good guy, and that’s the filter they see it through. Oddly, my wife gets more ornery about it these days. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-baptized-my-mil-prays-for-my-soul-not-sure-im-comfy-with-that/616860.md?page=7)