# I'm not being \_\_\_\_\_ but... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 10, 2005, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-being-_____-but/298703 "2005-04-10T21:57:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-being-_____-but/298703/21 "2005-04-11T11:36:27Z")
> [@Speaker for the Dead](#): > > I think the worst variant of this is the classic “No offence, but…”, which can be rephrased as “I don’t mean to be offensive, but…” One of my daughter’s teenage pals does this a LOT. Even when she’s not actually being offensive; it’s like some kind of built-in disclaimer she just throws into conversation. Drove me bananas, so I finally told her, “Michelle, when you say ‘no offense BUT…’ it tells me you KNOW the next thing to come out of your mouth is going to be offensive. Since you know you’re about to be offensive, just stop.” It worked! (She’s a very nice kid, really, it was just a bad habit that needed to be broken.) ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-being-_____-but/298703/22 "2005-04-11T12:24:32Z")
No offence, **Lobsang** , but your OP is full of shit and you are a cuntwad. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-being-_____-but/298703/23 "2005-04-11T12:51:21Z")
When I turned 35 one of the guys at the place I was consulting said: “No offense, but you look much older.” How do you start a sentense with “No offense but…” and not expect the other person to be offended? ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-being-_____-but/298703/24 "2005-04-11T14:22:51Z")
A cow-orker gave me the line, “I’m not racist or anything, but …” followed by a really racist statement once. I told her it was impossible to qualify a racist statement by saying first that she’s not racist. I still don’t think she got it. Bugs the living shit out of me. ---
**Author:** ![Arwin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/51bf81/32.png) [@Arwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arwin)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-being-_____-but/298703/25 "2005-04-11T14:45:14Z")
> [@yellowval](#): > > A cow-orker gave me the line, “I’m not racist or anything, but …” followed by a really racist statement once. I told her it was impossible to qualify a racist statement by saying first that she’s not racist. I still don’t think she got it. Bugs the living shit out of me. I don’t mean to make sweeping generalising statements, but racism and thick-headedness do seem to go hand in hand. 😃 Khadaji: I’d probably have said something like, “Wow, you are young for your looks.” 😃 (I bet many people would even say thanks … 😉 ) It’s true, such disclaimers aren’t sticks that can magically defuse potentially explosive comments. It’s probably harder to find examples where this does work then where it doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@Lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lola)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-being-_____-but/298703/26 "2005-04-11T15:04:41Z")
My mother thinks that any shockingly insensitive or downright nasty statement can be qualified with, “I’m just speaking my mind”. People who take great pride in “speaking their mind” at every opportunity irritate the wriggling, living shit out of me. Sorry, mum. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2005, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-being-_____-but/298703/27 "2005-04-11T15:12:50Z")
That reminds me of a qoute out of the original Parent Trap movie (am I a class act or what?) Housekeeper: “I speak as I find.” Lead Guy: “Pity you find so much…” No offense. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-being-_____-but/298703/28 "2005-04-12T10:21:27Z")
ugh… I knew one person who did this all the time. In a passive-agressive-quiet-whiney voice, “Not to be an asshole, but…” Then he could comment on whatever the hell he wanted to without fear of being an ass :rolleyes: . ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-being-_____-but/298703/29 "2005-04-12T15:34:27Z")
> [@yellowval](#): > > A cow-orker gave me the line, “I’m not racist or anything, but …” followed by a really racist statement once. I told her it was impossible to qualify a racist statement by saying first that she’s not racist. I still don’t think she got it. Bugs the living shit out of me. My favorite is the double-qualified racism disclaimer, as in “I’m not racist — in fact, some of my friends are black — but [racist statement].” ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2005, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-being-_____-but/298703/30 "2005-04-13T02:32:33Z")
> [@Martiju](#): > > It’s probably very wrong that I laughed out loud at that isn’t it… Yeah, probably… Hey, wanna sit by me on the way to hell? We can swap lunches or something! 😛 The one I hate is, “I don’t mean to pry, but \.” Grr. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-being-_____-but/298703.md?page=1)