# I'm not buying you a fucking house **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 16, 2003, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957 "2003-01-16T12:52:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![EasyPhil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47c2d/32.png) [@EasyPhil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EasyPhil)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/121 "2003-01-17T20:49:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by In Conceivable \* > \*\*More like he didn’t hate her. It is really easy to express anger without calling someone lazy greedy etc. Even after people said it sound like he hates his wife he didn’t say “I really love her but…” I believe you should be respectful of the person you marry. > > Is that how a women expresses anger rather then a man? \*\* It seems that your interpretation of what he’s saying is bothering you more than what he’s saying. In your world his statements means he hates his wife, which as others have said, doesn’t have to be true. I think you should be respectful of your significant other, but it works both ways, your significant other has to respect you as well. I think your making too much of his rant, which I think he has a right to make. Judge on! ---
**Author:** ![EasyPhil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47c2d/32.png) [@EasyPhil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EasyPhil)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/122 "2003-01-17T20:56:15Z")
**Diane** , I think he may hate some of her actions, which is different from hating her as a person. There’s a double standard here when it comes to men expressing their dismay with the actions of their significant others versus women expressing their dismay with theirs. A man is usually branded a misogynist when ranting about something a woman has done to him. Is there a equivalent word for misogynist, in the english language for women that hate or are distrustful of men? ---
**Author:** ![In\_Conceivable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@In\_Conceivable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Conceivable)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/123 "2003-01-17T20:56:22Z")
If he puts his rant on a public message board then people are going to read it and have an opinion on it. When he asys nothing to correct the opinion that people have made then they are going to assume it is true. It is actually what he is saying that is bothering me. You don’t have to read into it for it to be bad. We don’t know if his wife is respectful of him or not. We do know that he isn’t respectful of her. ---
**Author:** ![EasyPhil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47c2d/32.png) [@EasyPhil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EasyPhil)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/124 "2003-01-17T21:06:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by In Conceivable \* > **If he puts his rant on a public message board then people are going to read it and have an opinion on it. When he asys nothing to correct the opinion that people have made then they are going to assume it is true. It is actually what he is saying that is bothering me. You don’t have to read into it for it to be bad.** It’s a public message board, and he’s anonymous, to him it can no more than him shouting this stuff into a hole in the ground. It’s not different from writing someone a nasty letter and never sending it to them, because the reason for it is to help you turn the corner on the event. I hope no one ever says anything bad to you, sounds like you’d be crushed. > [@](#): > > \*\* > We don’t know if his wife is respectful of him or not. We do know that he isn’t respectful of her. \*\* **In Conceivable** , what we are seeing here is _some_ of his personal thought pattern about he feels about something that she did in the pass and is trying to do now. The question I would ask you, is this: Have you ever had bad thoughts, complete with hateful language for anyone you know/knew, love/loved or were aquainted with? I’ll take your no answer as a mother fucking lie. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/125 "2003-01-17T21:21:13Z")
I wonder if the next time someone posts a nasty ass diatribe about their dumb ass husband that certain posters will show up to chastice that person as well. Or is it just wrong to vent about your wife/girlfriend? Or are you saying it is ok for one gender to do something, but not another? ---
**Author:** ![MrMyth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e19b73/32.png) [@MrMyth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrMyth)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/126 "2003-01-17T21:22:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by In Conceivable \* > \*\*If he puts his rant on a public message board then people are going to read it and have an opinion on it. \*\* Ah, know this argument, love it, was waiting for it. It’s total bullshit. Its usually used by someone defending an attack on their reaction to an OP. Therefore the poster almost nevers sees that _their_ post is being judged as well. So pulling out this old line is like saying the sky is blue. Its useless information. Now, as for the OP, why is it such a big whip that’s he’s talking about his wife? Would it be so much different if she was already his ex-wife? Is the Pit not the place to express such hate and anger? Pitizens (myself included) are like feral fucking dogs - if someone barks in the right key, we all agree and go take down the nearest deer. If that key is off just a bit, then that particular dog gets the deer treatment. Hmm. Now that I re-read that sentence it doesn’t seem like such a bad thing. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/127 "2003-01-17T21:35:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EasyPhil \* > \*\*Is there a equivalent word for misogynist, in the english language for women that hate or are distrustful of men? \*\* No. Interesting, isn’t it? I know it’s a whole other thread, but theories abound as to why this is the case . . . Anyway. I think you’re right about there being somewhat of a double standard, here, but since none of us _does_ know **vunderbob** , we’re left to form an opinion about the OP based on subjective reasoning: How would I feel if my spouse/SO were talking about _me_ like that (to my face or behind my back)? And since very few of us probably feel like _we_ would have done anything to deserve such vitriol, we sort of project and assume that **bob’s** wife hasn’t, either. Admittedly faulty reasoning, I know, but that’s what I see happening. Also, whereas a woman griping about her husband may not get as much shit for it as a man griping about his wife, I think that if the OP had been written by a woman, about her husband, people would still have questioned whether or not she should be in this relationship, based on how she seems to feel about him (which is, in turn, based on the language used in the OP). ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/128 "2003-01-17T21:37:49Z")
What’s the debate here? Men are always wrong, women are always right. Men don’t have the right to bitch, women do. The sooner you men realize this, the easier life will be for all of us. ---
**Author:** ![In\_Conceivable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@In\_Conceivable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Conceivable)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/129 "2003-01-17T21:42:43Z")
Okay. I get it. Here is my opinion. I think that the OP is hateful and disrespectful to his wife. Nothing that other posters can say will make me rethink that opinion. The OP or his wife could if they care to. Hell, if the OP would just say one nice thing about his wife it would cause me to re-evaluate. I have had bad thoughts about love ones of course. But I always do my best to be respectful and loving both to my husband’s face and when I speak about him. If I slip up I apologize for it. I have never called my husband a name like “greedy” or “lazy” to other people. You don’t speak like that to or about people you love. Yes, you can have an opinion on my opinion. **MrMyrth** , my post was specifically in response to a post telling me that I was judging and making to much of a rant he has the right to make. Of course he has the right to make the rant. My only point is that people are going to read it. We can circle around it all day. You can judge my post judging his post. The point is if he has the right to make the rant then I have a right to comment on it. You can comment on my comment if you want but if your comment is telling me I shouldn’t comment then I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/130 "2003-01-17T21:54:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > > > [@](#): > > > > _Originally posted by EasyPhil_ > > Is there a equivalent word for misogynist, in the english language for women that hate or are distrustful of men? > > No. Interesting, isn’t it? I know it’s a whole other thread, but theories abound as to why this is the case . . . [Misandry](http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=misandry) ---
**Author:** ![MrMyth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e19b73/32.png) [@MrMyth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrMyth)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/131 "2003-01-17T21:57:04Z")
Kinda like the name change there, **In Conceivable**. Makes me seem happier than I really am. I am not telling you not to comment. I _am_ saying that the ‘public message board’ gauntlet has been run a few times too many. What you said in your last post was succint and to the point. It’s a hell of a lot better explanation than ‘I can talk back cause its out in public.’ I just don’t think that argument is original. ---
**Author:** ![Suspenderzzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Suspenderzzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suspenderzzz)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/132 "2003-01-17T21:58:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by whiterabbit \* > \*\*My mother keeps a separate account from her husband’s so that she can do things like buy him presents without his immediately knowing how much she spent and where – he’s obsessive about keeping track of their joint account online. According to her and several of her friends, having a separate slush fund is a huge help to any married woman. I’m guessing the same would apply to men, so as not to sound sexist, but said friends are all women. > > \*\* Damn! Now I can’t get the theme song to _I Love Lucy_ out of my head. Thanks a lot. Besides buying presents for their better halves with the money so schemingly squirreled away, I’m sure these women buy the occasional hat for themselves. The kind with a little flower, no doubt. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![MrMyth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e19b73/32.png) [@MrMyth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrMyth)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/133 "2003-01-17T21:59:38Z")
I should’ve said also that the use of that argument is a pet peeve of mine, so don’t take it personally, **In Conceivable**. ---
**Author:** ![fatmac98](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3ec8ea/32.png) [@fatmac98](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fatmac98)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/134 "2003-01-17T22:35:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by In Conceivable \* > \*\* I have never called my husband a name like “greedy” or “lazy” to other people. \*\* Don’t you see, the beauty of this forum is that we are not real people! You can write things here that you couldn’t tell your best friend! It’s kinda like talking to the dog, but getting an actual response. \*\*. . . fucking brilliant if you ask me. . . \*\* None of us will ever know Bob, or know his wife. He will never have to look at us, or go to dinner with us, or drink a beer with us etc. What better place is there to disrespect his wife? Tell his friends? Every time he says another word about her they bring this up. Her friends? Yeah right. His family? No, they would hate her forever, there goes Chriistmas. Her family? See last statement, now multiply effect exponentially. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/135 "2003-01-17T22:52:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ferret Herder \*[Misandry](http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=misandry) \*\* Well, right on, **Ferret Herder**! See why I dig this place? Learn something new every day! (The Womens’ Studies class I took a few years ago had a big discussion on why there wasn’t a word for hatred of men, so I just took that as gold.) Now I’m off to use my new word for the day . . . 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Kezermezer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b487fb/32.png) [@Kezermezer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kezermezer)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/136 "2003-01-17T22:59:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Green Bean \* > \*\*When I was a kid and my mom was a stay-at-home mom, she had her own account, and my dad gave her an allowance. That sounds really archaic, but it worked. She paid for groceries and stuff for the kids out of the allowance, and if she didn’t have enough, she asked for more. No biggie. But the arrangement worked because my dad didn’t have to be involved in all of her spending decisions and she didn’t have to ask him for money all the time. \*\* Just curious-- if she had just paid for groceries and stuff for the kids with from the main account, why would he have had to get involved? Why would she have to ask him to take out of that account? This only makes sense to me if you couldn’t get an account under two names back then. Couldn’t they just get checks with both their names on em, and each get their own card to take money out with? ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/137 "2003-01-17T23:17:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by catsix \* > \*\*I’m just checking back in to say that it’s not only guys who are defending **vunderbob** and his right to rant in an extremely pissed off manner if he feels the need. > > I’m a chick and I’m sick of the ‘The man is always an asshole if he displays anger with regards to his wife/girlfriend, even if it’s not to her, and the wife/girlfriend is always a victim’ crap. > > Men are not always wrong, despite the fact that I seem to run into people every fucking day who think that in any argument between a man and a woman, it’s always the man who is wrong. \*\* CAT, will you marry me? ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2003, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/138 "2003-01-17T23:56:20Z")
That depends. Are you going to ask me to have kids? ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/139 "2003-01-18T01:43:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by **In Conceivabl** e \* > We don’t know if his wife is respectful of him or not. We do know that he isn’t respectful of her. And we know that because…? Because he said those words using a **anonimous** screen name in an **anonimous** message board? As opposed to telling her on her face? You see that is the beauty of the pit. Instead of going to your boss and telling him what a greedy, irresponsible little prick he is you post it here, vent your anger, cool off and go to your office and politely say “Good morning Mr. Boss, I hope you had a nice weekend”. It is faster and cheaper than psycotherapy if you ask me. I am sure that most people that vent here do not act like this in real life (hopefully, the alternative is scary). I am sure that **sauron** didn’t _really_ want to kill the Emperor of the World. I think you people (you in general) should stop tryign to disect OPs in the pit, stop analyzing the words of someone who is just angry and wants some relief, specially when it is a personal situation. It doesn’t make you (you in general) look better, only like judgmental people. ---
**Author:** ![EasyPhil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e47c2d/32.png) [@EasyPhil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EasyPhil)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/140 "2003-01-18T02:26:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ferret Herder \* > \*\*No. Interesting, isn’t it? I know it’s a whole other thread, but theories abound as to why this is the case . . . [Misandry](http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=misandry) \*\* [/QUOTE] Way to go **Ferret Herder** , my paper dictionary didn’t have that entry, perhaps because it’s about 25 years old. What’s the noun from of **Misandry**? Misandrist? 😕 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957.md?page=8)