# I'm not buying you a fucking house **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 16, 2003, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957 "2003-01-16T12:52:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/161 "2003-01-19T02:18:02Z")
> [@](#): > > I don’t see where his wife would be the _victim_if they live in the grad school ghetto for a few years while he gets his degree. It’s called sucking it up and doing what you have to do to invest in your future. I’d certainly do it. Heck, I have done it. I’m guessing this is in response to my post. I’m not saying she shouldn’t be willing to suck it up , or that I wouldn’t be willing to do it under the right conditions. But that lack of respect you see from wife to Bob - it can go both ways. I see that it’s his aim to divest himself of the house so he can go to grad school. He never mentioned whether or not it was her aim, and that may be part of the problem… ---
**Author:** ![Tee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Tee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tee)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/162 "2003-01-19T03:07:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JohnT \* > \*\*That is how we live. It works for us, but I don’t know a single couple that do the things the way we do them. Frankly, when I tell other people that I limit my personal expenditures to $60/week they can’t handle it, telling me that it’s ok to spend more money and “go enjoy yourself”. \*\* Just this very month, my husband was opening bills from Christmas and the normal utilities, installments, and the credit cards that he, for some reason, can _never_ manage to pay before the due date so that the balances increase despite payments, and he says: Eff This. Let’s consolidate. Wanna do the bills? I never want to see another as long as I live. Give me $75 a week, that’s fine. I took his temperature…I checked for signs of dementia and mania and he’s apparently as healthy as a horse…I bring in very little money at the moment, just enough to cover my 1 small credit card, internet account and pocket money. That way I don’t feel like a household expense. (We always had separate accounts. He spends, I save. He cannot use my checkbook. In fact banks have warned him in the past to stay away from his _own_ checkbook.) So we’re consolidating his old bills, for this new leaf, in which I am Boss. I feel that he’ll last approximately 3 weeks, but it’s nice to see that it can be done! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/163 "2003-01-19T04:07:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EasyPhil \* > \*\ ***Diane** , > > Is there a equivalent word for misogynist, in the english language for women that hate or are distrustful of men? \*\* Feminist D&R 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/164 "2003-01-19T04:19:27Z")
vunderbob, your wife is shopping, compulsive shopping habits, are being doing to fulfill a void in her life. A deep chasm. Whatever insecurities she has, she is using shopping to balm the hurt. If you move into a bigger house, she will only drive you deeper into debt and fill up every room and nook and cranny with crap. It will NEVER get better on it’s own. You have to take away the credit cards, make her responsible for her own debt and charge cards. \*\*You Must Protect Yourself. No One Will Do It For You. \*\* My MIL is a compulsive shopper and she is the most insecure person I’ve ever met. When my FIL dies ( nice enough guy but extraordinarily old-world demeanor and demanding.) she will be free for the first time in her life. Meanwhile, I live in absolute fear of the ‘gifts’ we get from her all the time and if she drops dead, who will inherit her basement that is just loaded with crap she never uses and her \*sewing room \* that is crammed with shelves of material that she can’t seem to stop buying. ( and it’s the ugly material, clearance stuff.) I am sorry for what you are enduring. You seem to have a lot of hate inside of you and I don’t see how it is ever going to get better given the parameters stated above. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957/165 "2003-01-19T19:29:48Z")
yep **Doreen** I guess I was thinking of your post … on retrospect what I said looks harsh. Sometimes it’s hard for me to express in print what I really mean. 😉 I agree that there appears to be a lack of respect on both sides. I’ve also thought about what **Shirley** brings up. Perhaps the counselor can shed some light on that for **bob** & wife. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-buying-you-a-fucking-house/148957.md?page=8)