# I'm not drinking and emailing. Nope, not doing that. But I want to **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** wine\ **Created:** [July 24, 2025, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265 "2025-07-24T06:40:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/1 "2025-07-24T06:40:41Z")
Some stressful stuff happened to me today in a meeting, involving a bunch of people I care about but who have different points of view. Long story, it would bore y’all to tears, just assume normal life stuff, because that’s all it was, and no bad behavior was involved, just good people with different ways of viewing the world. After the meeting, which ended about 4pm, I came home and knocked back several drinks, because in the meeting I did my best to do what I thought was right for the organization involved. It was damn hard not to let personal preferences and emotions get it the way. I’m retired, and I don’t have to get up tomorrow, and I did good, I think. So yeah – I effing deserve it if I want to have some wine followed by a mixed drink and then, oh yeah, another glass of wine. After I was home for a while, the emails dissecting the meeting started to come in, and one or two were VERY ANNOYING because they ignored or disagreed with me, and … trust me on this … my point of view is the correct one. I have started at least 5, maybe more like 10, emails in response, all of which were, um … a little bit more indicative of alcohol consumption than maturity. I deleted them all before sending and instead I am posting here. It would be really nice if a few of you would tell me I’m doing the right thing, and maybe chime in with your own stories of restraint, or when you _didn’t_ show restraint and wish you had. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/2 "2025-07-24T06:47:10Z")
Like posting while drunk, which I assure you is a _perfectly_ safe thing to do? Take it from the poster formerly named “slythe”. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/3 "2025-07-24T06:51:57Z")
Yes. Exactly like that. But I suspect I won’t regret _too_ much anything I PWD right now on the SDMB. On the other hand, the emails I’ve been writing and deleting would probably horrify me tomorrow. In them, I express great outrage over people ignoring my opinion in favor of others. How could they?!?! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/4 "2025-07-24T06:54:47Z")
Just know that erasing the emails does not erase your feelings and emotions…and, if need be, you can always send them off later, right? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/5 "2025-07-24T07:08:19Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Take it from the poster formerly named “slythe”. Huh? I don’t drink. I’m just naturally a nudnick ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/6 "2025-07-24T07:08:36Z")
If this is a work-related situation as the OP appears to me, definitely best to calm down and sober up so you can express yourself in a way that doesn’t damage your professional reputation/image or your relationships with people you’re still going to be spending that much of your waking time with after this particular issue resolves. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/7 "2025-07-24T07:08:57Z")
Wise words (@Czarcasm and @Seanette ). I do wonder how I will feel tomorrow when I come back to this thread. My first thought will no doubt be, “thank goodness I posted here to let off steam instead of firing off a sulking email to my colleagues!” But my second thought may be, “yeah, CairoCarol, that was the wine/margarita talking and it is good you held back.” Or it may be, “damn right, I’m sober now and still feel the same way. Perhaps I should write a diplomatic, strategic email expressing the same thoughts I would have stated poorly last night.” Time will tell. Tomorrow I will tell you all if I feel as put upon as I do at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/8 "2025-07-24T07:10:57Z")
I’m sure we’re all hoping that it just looks a lot better in the morning when you come back to it sober, rested, and past the initial confrontation enough to be calmer and/or that it’s reasonably easy to resolve. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/9 "2025-07-24T07:13:02Z")
I’ve had a few stressful days and a few stressful meetings, and I’ve come back home and knocked back a few too. Damn, lemme at my e-mail and tear someone a new one! But. That’s not a good idea. So what I do is to open up Notepad, and compose a message in that. I tell myself that in the sober light of the next day, I’ll reread it, and decide then if I ought to copy it over into an e-mail message, and send it. Nine times out of ten, I decide not to send it; and the one time out of ten I do send it, it takes a lot of changing before it is suitable to be sent. Might this be an idea? ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/10 "2025-07-24T07:25:51Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > Might this be an idea? Yes, for sure. I’m doing a variation of that, but a dangerous one .. which is to compose an email, then delete before sending. One ill-considered click of the send button, and I might find myself quite sheepish tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/11 "2025-07-24T07:48:48Z")
No no, you got to get the note book and pen. Drunkedness often makes you brilliant, truthful and so so smart. Write that shit down. NOW. Don’t email to anyone. You may accidentally give away your secret super power. Not good. Write your manisfesto on paper only. Paper…ONLY. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/12 "2025-07-24T12:05:32Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > > [@Czarcasm](#): > > > > Take it from the poster formerly named “slythe”. > > Huh? I don’t drink. I’m just naturally a nudnick Ancient board history. Not related to you. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/13 "2025-07-24T12:21:47Z")
Consider it might also be the case that some of the other members of your committee did what you didn’t. Maybe they got home, got drunk, and emailed. You were the smart one. In the cold light of day, go back over their emails. Play “spot the drunk”. You might enjoy that more than you expect. Bigger picture: A hard problem about volunteer work is that many volunteers care about their cause. A job is different because darn near nobody hugely cares about the company or the product. That pretty well ensures the emotional content of every decision in a volunteer group is larger than it would be at a job. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/14 "2025-07-24T12:27:48Z")
I’ve never regretted not calling/texting/emailing something while emotionally charged. I needn’t be drunk, even, but definitely not in those times. The older I get, the better I am at reigning in my emotions and not sending that impulse communication, whether sober or not. And when the peak of the emotional/drunken moment passes, I can reassess. Every single time I have, I have been glad I didn’t hit “send.” ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/15 "2025-07-24T12:31:07Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > I have started at least 5, maybe more like 10, emails in response, all of which were, um … a little bit more indicative of alcohol consumption than maturity. > > I deleted them all before sending and instead I am posting here. Right move! LOL I’m sure we all remember horror stories of people popping off in emails and regretting it, or people sending an email to whom they think is one person but, in reality, it goes out to everyone on the mailing list. Our administration has carried email caution even one step further. The only emails they send are general information and instructional in nature. They never respond via email to questions or concerns. NEVER. “Don’t put anything in writing” is their unwavering credo. ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/16 "2025-07-24T12:34:33Z")
You might spend some time in the Pit to consider your reactions to some of the exchanges there. That may help you decide which posts brought the poster closer to their goals and which hampered their aims. That may help you assess your own strategy in your situation, even if your only aim is to burn the place down. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/17 "2025-07-24T12:34:39Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Drunkedness often makes you brilliant, truthful and so so smart. Yes, this is true! Y’all just don’t even know how charming I really am. @CairoCarol, you are a hundred percent right and you need to tell their asses. But sleep on it first. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/18 "2025-07-24T13:54:13Z")
No reason not to wait until the cold, sober light of morning illuminates your screed. Here’s another vote for not composing in an email while impaired. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/19 "2025-07-24T14:17:03Z")
Well, @CairoCarol , you are one of the most reasonable Dopers here, and if your posts in this thread, presumably composed while still intoxicated, are any indication, your unsent emails are probably perfectly reasonable as well. But when you re-examine them today sober, you might just find you want to tone them down by maybe just 5 or 10% before sending. It’s always a good idea to sleep on a text, email or post composed in anger or frustration, even when sober. It’ll be interesting to hear your follow-up reaction to the unsent emails in the harsh, sober light of day 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2025, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265/20 "2025-07-24T14:41:39Z")
I have a masters degree equivalent in diplomatic subtext. But I don’t drink much and don’t think I have ever emailed drunk. Not my thing. I did want to recommend the practice of writing letters and disposing of them. Franklin or Edison recommended this I think. I also enjoyed the book _Letters I Don’t Know Where To Send_, by a Canadian comedian who used to be on a funny CBC radio show called _The Debaters_. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-drinking-and-emailing-nope-not-doing-that-but-i-want-to/1021265.md?page=2)