# I'm not eating the turkey. Get over it. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 24, 2004, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433 "2004-11-24T06:52:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/61 "2004-11-24T22:29:21Z")
You’re all a bunch of wusses. 3 days’ thawing for a 15lb bird is highly unlikely to cause problems, IMO. A decent side of beef or a good pheasant are hung “until they drop off the hook”. At home we frequently store cooked meat at room temperature for 12-24 hours, and I’ve never had food poisoning from anything in my house. If you live your lives in a sterile bubble, you’ll never get immunity to anything. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/62 "2004-11-24T22:47:10Z")
> [@manhattan](#): > > Good idea. Let’s stop catering right here and right now. Food poisoning is annoying. 27% of the population gets it every year (more likely, less of the population gets it more often). It is _not_ a significant health hazard. According to your cite, 0.12% of the population gets sick enough to be hospitalized, and 0.002% of the population dies from it each year, approximately the same number of people who die in fires. And we all have smoke alarms, and fire departments in every city, and children’s pajamas must legally be fire resistant, and you’re supposed to keep a fire extinguisher in your kitchen, and so on. We do a lot of things to prevent fires. Shouldn’t we try to prevent food poisoning as well? > [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Be diplomatic. Don’t be deceitful. A little diplomatic deceit sounds good to me. A little white lie is a good idea here. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2004, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/63 "2004-11-24T23:15:31Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > 2-note trombone “wah-wah” 😃 I’m glad I’m not drinking anything right now, it’d be all over the keyboard. Anyway, as for the turkey situation. If it was me I’d just down it and hope for the best. The ‘sterile bubble’ philosophy works fine for me. _cough_ ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/64 "2004-11-25T00:27:57Z")
I do want to half side with the OP. Have any of you actually HAD genuine salmonella poisoning? Holy shit. Literally. Picture the worst tequilla bender you’ve ever been on, then triple the sick. I had it twice- once from chicken in a restaurant, and once from bad eggs at a greasy spoon (my whole group got sick). You would pray for death, I promise. I was vomiting and shitting about every 10 minutes for DAYS, no lie. After there’s no liquid left in you, you just dry heave and dry heave and dry heave. It’s seriously horrible. I"m very food paranoid, but if I found myself in the OP’s situation, I would have suggested first that the bird not be thawed on the counter, citing prior food poisoning problems. If they insisted that they “always do it that way”, I would have forgone the turkey, but not said a word to anyone. If they have been doing it that way forever, they might very well be resistant to any bacteria that might be present, and if you haven’t been eating that way, you probably wouldn’t be. My point is, I can understand not wanting to eat the turkey- I wouldn’t either; but making a big stink about it is classless. ---
**Author:** ![Amberlei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e56c9b/32.png) [@Amberlei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amberlei)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/65 "2004-11-25T03:11:48Z")
> [@astro](#): > > As long as the temperature is less than about 50ºF, and the time is less than 24 hours, cooking easily controls the bacterial hazards But who keeps their kitchen heated to less than 50ºF? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/66 "2004-11-25T03:14:02Z")
> [@Amberlei](#): > > But who keeps their kitchen heated to less than 50ºF? Maybe he’s talking about celcius? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/67 "2004-11-25T03:17:49Z")
> [@Elenfair](#): > > . > My french heritage, of course, tells me I can eat all sorts of things that are raw, moldy, and possibly have been sitting on the counter for a few hours… We are proud of you. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/68 "2004-11-25T04:15:11Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > If you live your lives in a sterile bubble, you’ll never get immunity to anything. I’m doubting the claim that _anyone_ lives in a sterile bubble (unless, of course, they literally live in a sterile bubble.) My point being, I’ll bet you’ll be exposed to enough pathogens in a normal environment simply through the atmosphere and incidental contact with different surfaces. Not to mention the fact that the body can also fight off infections it’s never seen before… for evidence here see the however many strains of the cold. You might notice that it doesn’t always last very long, because your body is able to fight it off. And then there are the infections you never see because your body gets rid of it before you notice it. In addition to this, the issue here is _not_ simply exposure to _Salmonella_/_E. coli_, etc., but the quantities of the bacteria that are present when the meat is left out in the “danger zone.” Surely, there are going to be some bacteria present in the original bird, but they are able to reproduce faster when left out, which means that they will be harder to kill, and more toxins will be produced. If more bacteria get through the cooking process unscathed, that’s more for your body to fight off. And beef and turkey are completely different animals. Ever notice how people eat steaks rare, but don’t ever ask for their chicken breast “lightly seared, please. I love vomiting/diarrhea/comas/death!” So, **duffer** , in your position, I would have put it in the fridge the first time, then confronted said relative, then when she got all old fashioned, presented her with some FDA literature, then foregone the turkey. I didn’t even eat any last year, and it wasn’t that big of a deal. I love side dishes. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/69 "2004-11-25T05:05:12Z")
And kids, let’s not forget- once a turkey has been out of the oven for longer than 45 minutes, bacteria levels have grown to a quantity sufficient to make you ill. Put that turkey away! ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/70 "2004-11-25T05:09:04Z")
Sorry if this advice is a little late. Borrowing some ideas from my time as a HazMat tech, you should be able to thoroughly clean the questionable bird. Begin with an empty 5 gallon drywall bucket, placing the bird inside. Add isopropyl alcohol until the bird is submerged. Use a long handled scrub brush to ensure all surfaces are thoroughly scrubbed. Rinse with clean, potable water. Transfer to a second empty 5 gallon drywall bucket. Add a solution of household bleach and very hot water, mixed at a ratio of 8:1 water to bleach. Allow the bird to soak for 15 minutes. While the bird is soaking, make sure the steam jenny is brought up to temperature. After removing the bird from the bleach solution, rinse again with clean, potable water, and place the bird on a clean rack with plenty of room for drainage. Using the steam jenny, thoroughly wash the inside and outside of the bird to remove residual contaminants. Keep the pressure down to around 500 psi or you’ll blast the meat right off the bone. Now you’re ready to neutralize any little buggers that might have slipped past the decon process with proper cooking. This is best done out of doors with an old cast iron bathtub and an iron grate. After plugging the drain of the bathtub, carefully add a few gallons of methyl methacrylate monomer, readily found at most industrial chemical supply outlets. Be sure to avoid any open flames at this point. Once the turkey is placed onto the grating, and the grating is in place over the tub, it’s time to cook! If you have access to safety fuse, please use it, otherwise lobbing a road flare into the tub will work nicely. Expect a hearty WOOF as the monomer takes off. With an autoignition temperature of 790°F any microorganisms will be thoroughly incinerated. It’s time to grab a beer and wait until the flames die down as the monomer is consumed. Safety first! Be sure to allow adequate time for the grating to cool. Welding gloves can be a handy substitute for traditional kitchen mitts. Mmmm! Makes my mouth water. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/71 "2004-11-25T05:10:45Z")
Would that be turkey carbonara? ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/72 "2004-11-25T05:36:59Z")
**duffer** , the Neville kitties and I have come up with the perfect solution to your dilemma. You should indeed not eat that turkey. Instead, you should send your share of turkey to them. They will eat it for you and brave the risk of food poisoning 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2004, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/73 "2004-11-25T15:52:55Z")
I think there are two issues here – the food-thawing issue and the politeness issue. For the food-thawing, I confess that, in my family, we have always thawed the bird on the counter – although, in my experience, it doesn’t take anything like 3 days. We took the frozen bird out of the freezer the evening before Thanksgiving – about 6:30 or so, as soon as the dinner dishes were done. By noonish the next day, we checked to see if it was thawed and, if it wasn’t, ran a bit of water over it to finish it off. So it would be out for ~18 hours. We never got sick on bad turkey – except for my dad, and he got a case of Botulism off of turkey croquettes on board one of his ships, not at home. _He_ doesn’t eat turkey to this day. For the last few years, though, I have been thawing our birds in the fridge – due to all the health advisories. Fridge-thawing _does_ take 3 days, I found, and sometimes even then it’s still frozen in the middle. PITA, IMO, with this massive think taking up the whole bottom shelf of the fridge for days on end, but I don’t want to take even the smallest risk of getting someone in my family as sick as my dad got off of those damned turkey croquettes. Then there’s the politeness thing – and, frankly, rudeness has ruined far more Thanksgiving dinners than Salmonella. I’m glad to hear that **duffer** actually took most of his snit (other than the snappiness) out here in the Pit rather than on his mother-in-law. And I think his final solution (that of wisking the thing into the fridge whenever mom-in-law is out) will probably work fine. But I think **Left Hand of Dorkness** had the politest solution – to ask nicely and take the blame upon yourself: “I’m sorry to be such a pain, but I’ve known a few people who’ve been really sick with food poisoning and I’m afraid I’m just a bit of a fuddy-duddy about it. I know it’ll take longer, but could we please thaw the bird in the fridge? I’m really looking forward to your wonderful turkey dinner, and I just won’t be able to enjoy it if I’m worrying that we’ll all get sick.” Only a real jerk could refuse a request like that. Worse case scenario (mom-in-law _was_ a jerk and refused the polite request), the only polite thing to do is to skip the turkey without fuss and fill up on the side dishes. In that case, you could also cook some brats – although, frankly, _I’d_ rather eat a germ-ridden, Salmonella-infested turkey than a nasty old brat. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/74 "2004-11-26T04:07:38Z")
Well, dinner’s over and everyone is still alive. Though unfortunatly stone cold sober, (fucking state laws :rolleyes: ) I think next year I’m going to buy the bird a week in advance so it doesn’t see the counter until it’s stuffed. That should end any disputes once and for all. Of course, I can’t forget to give credit for our health to **danceswithcats**. I followed your advice to the letter and it worked! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/75 "2004-11-26T04:50:25Z")
State laws? Are you underage or something? ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/76 "2004-11-26T04:55:37Z")
No sales today, all bars closed and we forgot to stock up yesterday. What about people that don’t have family nor care for get-toethers? And if It’s to keep families together today, why is almost every oth store open? ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/77 "2004-11-26T06:35:59Z")
> [@duffer](#): > > What’s done is done. There goes my rep as being perfect. 😛 > > I’ll eat the turkey and rave it was the best I’ve ever had. But if I’m not posting by Friday night, I’m going to haunt you all. Ooh, better yet: haunt James Randi! Win that million so we can quit arguing about it! ;);)😉 ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/78 "2004-11-26T07:14:52Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > Sorry if this advice is a little late. Borrowing some ideas from my time as a HazMat tech, you should be able to thoroughly clean the questionable bird. > > Begin with an empty 5 gallon drywall bucket, placing the bird inside. Add isopropyl alcohol until the bird is submerged. Use a long handled scrub brush to ensure all surfaces are thoroughly scrubbed. Rinse with clean, potable water. > Transfer to a second empty 5 gallon drywall bucket. Add a solution of household bleach and very hot water, mixed at a ratio of 8:1 water to bleach. Allow the bird to soak for 15 minutes. > > While the bird is soaking, make sure the steam jenny is brought up to temperature. After removing the bird from the bleach solution, rinse again with clean, potable water, and place the bird on a clean rack with plenty of room for drainage. Using the steam jenny, thoroughly wash the inside and outside of the bird to remove residual contaminants. Keep the pressure down to around 500 psi or you’ll blast the meat right off the bone. > > Now you’re ready to neutralize any little buggers that might have slipped past the decon process with proper cooking. This is best done out of doors with an old cast iron bathtub and an iron grate. After plugging the drain of the bathtub, carefully add a few gallons of methyl methacrylate monomer, readily found at most industrial chemical supply outlets. Be sure to avoid any open flames at this point. > > Once the turkey is placed onto the grating, and the grating is in place over the tub, it’s time to cook! If you have access to safety fuse, please use it, otherwise lobbing a road flare into the tub will work nicely. Expect a hearty WOOF as the monomer takes off. With an autoignition temperature of 790°F any microorganisms will be thoroughly incinerated. > > It’s time to grab a beer and wait until the flames die down as the monomer is consumed. Safety first! Be sure to allow adequate time for the grating to cool. Welding gloves can be a handy substitute for traditional kitchen mitts. > > Mmmm! Makes my mouth water. 😃 😃 _Please stop!! Ya killing me!!_ ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/79 "2004-11-26T08:10:00Z")
Some people in this thread are fucking morons. And I say this as a man with a wife who earned her PhD in one of the top salmonella/e.coli labs in North America. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2004, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433/80 "2004-11-26T14:48:04Z")
danceswithcats’ technique is exactly the way my family’s always cooked turkey. You know, by now, it’s just not Thanksgiving if you don’t smell the familiar smell of methyl methacrylate monomer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-eating-the-turkey-get-over-it/276433.md?page=5)