# I'm Not Gay, But If I Were... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 28, 2006, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670 "2006-04-28T23:40:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Operation\_Ripper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/34f0e0/32.png) [@Operation\_Ripper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Operation_Ripper)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/1 "2006-04-28T23:40:41Z")
… Capt. James T. Kirk, circa Stardate 1704.2, would be my friend with benefits, who’d be yours? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/2 "2006-04-29T00:03:48Z")
I gotta go with Faith. ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/3 "2006-04-29T00:23:14Z")
Mmmmmm. Faith. _Mmmmmmmmmm._ ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/4 "2006-04-29T00:24:53Z")
My wife says I’d do Robert Redford (circa _Butch Cassidy_) and she’s not far wrong. She also thinks I’m a bit too fond of Alton Brown. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/5 "2006-04-29T01:30:01Z")
Um. I guess probably my pal Critter from the 12th grade. He was mischievous, wise and funny as hell. He could also sing, act and tie a bowtie…naw, do you suppose…??? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/6 "2006-04-29T02:25:59Z")
Salma Hayek. _Damn_ that woman is fine. If I looked like her I’d just stare at myself in the mirror all day long. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/7 "2006-04-29T02:27:16Z")
This isn’t what I’d call a discussion of arts or entertainment. Well, perhaps in the broadest sense of entertainment. Hence, moved from Cafe Society to IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/8 "2006-04-29T02:47:35Z")
> [@Operation Ripper](#): > > … Capt. James T. Kirk, circa Stardate 1704.2, would be my friend with benefits, who’d be yours? So you would be… S P O C K ! ! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/9 "2006-04-29T03:07:20Z")
Hmmmmmmm. [Mahaloth enters dark corners of his mind] Nathan Fillion. [Mahaloth hangs head in shame] And Vin Diesel [Mahaloth hangs his head lower…in deep shame] 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/10 "2006-04-29T04:29:15Z")
Natalie Portman’s character in _Closer_. Miho in _Sin City_. Inara from _Firefly_. Probably also Kaylee. Yeah, Kaylee too. ---
**Author:** ![IGJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/igjoe/32/5420_2.png) [@IGJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IGJoe)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/11 "2006-04-29T07:01:40Z")
I _am_ gay, so I’ll flip it around. [Bif Naked](http://www.herroyalmajestysrecords.com/bif/) makes me drool. And I wouldn’t throw Tina Fey out of bed either. ---
**Author:** ![IGJoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/igjoe/32/5420_2.png) [@IGJoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IGJoe)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/12 "2006-04-29T07:02:43Z")
Dammit. Correct link: [http://www.herroyalmajestysrecords.com/bif/](http://www.herroyalmajestysrecords.com/bif/) ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/13 "2006-04-29T07:07:05Z")
Beleive it or not, I’ve been thinking of starting a thread like this. Richard Branson would be my choice. But he’d need to make few billion more to seal the deal. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/14 "2006-04-29T07:54:13Z")
Benny Hill. ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/15 "2006-04-29T07:55:08Z")
Marlon Brando in Streetcar. ---
**Author:** ![Gail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Gail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gail)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/16 "2006-04-29T14:18:42Z")
Gwen Stefani Debi Mazar, whom I think is one of the most underrated actresses around ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/17 "2006-04-29T14:41:12Z")
This really shows my age, but I have always said I would change my sexual orientation for Ann-Margaret. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/18 "2006-04-29T14:51:13Z")
Oprah ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/19 "2006-04-29T14:54:40Z")
Justin Long. Something about that gawkiness. ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670/20 "2006-04-29T15:24:20Z")
Cate Blanchett. Keira Knightley. Yeah, I’m unexciting. But are you going to ARGUE with my choices? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-gay-but-if-i-were/354670.md?page=2)