# I'm not giving up my seat **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 16, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431 "2013-01-16T22:34:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/421 "2013-01-18T16:02:04Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Not yet but we’re getting there. She’s now a terrible person who is either batshit or has some sort of blackness in the pit of her heart. For not moving 18 inches. Or, most logically, she was hoping for some extra space. ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/422 "2013-01-18T16:06:56Z")
> [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](#): > > Refusing to comply with a minor and harmless request caused a situation that would otherwise have been quick, simple and conflict free to become a long, annoying conflict… > It doesn’t seem like a logistical nightmare for you and your SO to move in such a way as to leave the the late-comers sitting next to the person with the cold… Correct answer. The thread could have been closed at #2 if **Lord Il Palazzo** had replied sooner. If this is turned into a poll question, please make geographic location part of the query. I’d be surprised if many _outside_ U.S.A. take OP’s side. Even _within_ the U.S.A. there might be interesting geographic variation. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/423 "2013-01-18T16:11:17Z")
Fuck those people. If they’d been polite about it, maybe the calculus would come out differently. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/424 "2013-01-18T16:13:19Z")
> [@septimus](#): > > Correct answer. The thread could have been closed at #2 if **Lord Il Palazzo** had replied sooner. > > If this is turned into a poll question, please make geographic location part of the query. I’d be surprised if many _outside_ U.S.A. take OP’s side. Even _within_ the U.S.A. there might be interesting geographic variation. The incident happened in New York. New York Rules: Don’t get there late and interrupt the movie to badger people out of their seats. Maybe they do it differently in Canberra but why should that matter to the OP? ---
**Author:** ![septimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/septimus/32/410_2.png) [@septimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/septimus)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/425 "2013-01-18T16:15:02Z")
> [@colander](#): > > The incident happened in New York. I only skimmed OP, but guessed as much. > [@colander](#): > > Maybe they do it differently in Canberra but why should that matter to the OP? You’re from New York, aren’t you? 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/426 "2013-01-18T16:15:08Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > MOL, please stop posting on the Dope. It’s a simple request that most polite, upstanding, considerate people would do. And if you do not want to do this thing that you have no obligation to do then you are a giant dickhead and a petulant little dickface. WTF? ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/427 "2013-01-18T16:16:12Z")
She was asked. She declined. The only thing this tells you about the OP is that she didn’t want to move. You know what? I was wrong. You guys aren’t candy-ass. You guys are bullies. You guys who think declining a request makes you a whiny, insane, inconsiderate, blackhearted, attention-seeking bitch. You guys are turning polite requests into intimidating demands. Yeah, I’m from New York. What of it? ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/428 "2013-01-18T16:18:12Z")
> [@septimus](#): > > I only skimmed OP, but guessed as much. > > You’re from New York, aren’t you? 🆒 No. You’re an idiot, aren’t you? ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/429 "2013-01-18T16:20:35Z")
Going back to the OP: > [@l1I235](#): > > We sat in an empty row, towards the middle right of the the row second to the last. Time went by, and the theater filled up, except the first 5 rows which remained mostly empty. A group of friends sat next to SO, leaving an empty buffer seat by his side. Two friends sat next to me at the end of the row, and also left an empty buffer seat on my side. Nothing rude here. > [@](#): > > About 3-5 minutes into the film, a couple enters the theater. They walk up the stairs to our row, and walk through the row from the left side (remember, we are on the right side), and looks at me, asking if the seat next to SO is taken. I truthfully answer “No”. She asks if the seat on the other side of me is taken. I again say no. She then asks me to move. Still nothing rude here. Subsequent characterizations in the thread of this behavior as “bullying” or “rude” are incorrect. This is a normal request that normal people make all the damn time. > [@](#): > > I politely decline. Not actually polite, IMO. There’s no reason for you not to move and this sort of thing is a societal obligation, IMO, the same as it being slightly rude if someone asks you if you can tell them the time, and you have a watch, but you say “nope” for no reason. WTF? Why would you do that? Same thing here. > [@](#): > > She asks why wouldn’t I want to be more at the center. Rude. Even if someone has refused a perfectly reasonable and polite request, that doesn’t give you the right to hound them about it. > [@](#): > > A few moments later, her male companion comes in front of everyone. Gross, and I am surprised more people have not pointed this out. > [@](#): > > He asks if the seat on my side is occupied. I say no. He asks me to move. I again, politely decline. He asks why not.\* I tell him I am happy with my seat. I again, point out the 5 empty rows in front. He grows indignant saying “What is your problem!” blah blah blah. Super-rude. No excuse for berating someone like this in public over a movie seat. > [@](#): > > …And then 5 minutes later, the woman comes back into the row, and takes the seat next to SO. Whatever. A minute or two later, the man comes into the row, approaches the woman, and the people on the other side of her move for him. They should have just asked those other apparently nice and reasonable people first, instead of hassling you about it. So again, to reiterate, rudeness on both sides here. Nobody in this anecdote is covered in glory. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/430 "2013-01-18T16:22:23Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > She was asked. She declined. The only thing this tells you about the OP is that she didn’t want to move. > > You know what? I was wrong. You guys aren’t candy-ass. You guys are bullies. You guys who think declining a request makes you a whiny, insane, inconsiderate, blackhearted, attention-seeking bitch. You guys are turning polite requests into intimidating demands. It is the _pit_! People gave her advice. The OP refused to acknowlege it. Now she is getting cticized. This is what happens on he Straight Dope. Maybe she should have thought about her actions a little more before declaratively assuming her actions were justified. Deep down, she knows what she did was questionable. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/431 "2013-01-18T16:30:49Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > It is the _pit_! People gave her advice. The OP refused to acknowlege it. Now she is getting cticized. This is what happens on he Straight Dope. > > Maybe she should have thought about her actions a little more before declaratively assuming her actions were justified. Deep down, she knows what she did was questionable. 1. The thread didn’t start in the pit. 2. You seem very wise to the machinations of the board for someone whose join date is 3 months ago. 3. Sitting at my desk with my shoes off. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/432 "2013-01-18T16:33:15Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > It is the _pit_! People gave her advice. The OP refused to acknowlege it. Now she is getting cticized. This is what happens on he Straight Dope. > > Maybe she should have thought about her actions a little more before declaratively assuming her actions were justified. Deep down, she knows what she did was questionable. Seriously, you always pick the stupidest possible position and defend it in the most boneheaded way imaginable. It’s almost mystical. …are you a reverse unicorn? ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/433 "2013-01-18T16:35:37Z")
I’m outside the USA, and I’m not moving once the film starts, unless there really are no other half-decent seats. People coming in late and asking someone to move despite there being plenty of seats is rude. Not accommodating rude people’s every whim is just common sense. If they want to have a crazy hissy fit, that’s their problem. You should know throwing a tantrum won’t get you your own way by the time you hit three. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/434 "2013-01-18T16:39:10Z")
Once the movie starts, I’m not moving. Especially if there are open seats elsewhere for you to sit in. I got there on time and chose my seat. Rude is approaching other people DURING the movie and demanding that they move. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/435 "2013-01-18T16:51:00Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > The OP was acting like a giant dickhead, end of story. Anyone who disagrees either is a dickhead too, or doesn’t go outside enough to know what the rest of us all call well-adjusted social behaviors. “Oh, MOL, you’re the authority on what proper social behaviors are?” Yes. It’s common when there are two non-adjacent seats at any place, whether it’s fetching a seat at the theatre, stools at the bar, wherever, to ask someone to move over. I’ve asked people to do this, and every single time, they have happily done so. Now all of those smiles might have been phony, but I’ll reckon not considering whenever someone asks me to move, I gladly do the same. Number of times this kind of thing has come up: Too many to count. Number of times someone has actually said no: Zero. If someone refuses, that just means they’re a petulant little dickface. > > Yeah, I know. You were concerned about the girl with the cold. You’re the Germ Police. Got it. Could not have said it better. Simple tiny acts of courtesy help make life easier for everyone. And, yeah, that cold thing is such an obvious after the fact justification for rude behavior. If your that concerned about someone’s cold don’t go to the theater. God, I like this board, but it is so full of people who seem completely oblivious to basic human interactions. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/436 "2013-01-18T17:07:01Z")
Wait, so there are 5 empty rows and a couple walk in AFTER the movie starts and tries to get people to move around and get pissy and abusive when people won’t accomodate them so they can get good seats for the movie they were late to when there are FIVE EMPTY FUCKING ROWS? FUCK EM. Good for you. And FUCK EM again. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/437 "2013-01-18T17:14:57Z")
**MsWhatsit** said it well. ([Post #429](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=15912904&postcount=429)) ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/438 "2013-01-18T17:23:16Z")
Damn, who would of thought I would have gotten so much support when I hit The Pit? Thanks for pitting me Anonymous User! But seriously, I have had my character lambasted, called ridiculous names, etc. I didn’t kick a baby in the street, here. I just kept my seat. And for the person who asked if someone pulled a Godwin - yes, and it wasn’t me… ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/439 "2013-01-18T17:33:06Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > Wait. The sick person is complaining about there being sick people in the cinema? That’s rather ironic. Or stupid. Your choice. I was not sick, I was fine. I had recovered. But thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/440 "2013-01-18T17:38:02Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > I am a New Yorker, and the person would not **of** even had to ask. > [@l1I235](#): > > They could **of** come early as we did, and gotten any seat they wanted. > [@l1I235](#): > > I could not “scooch” I would **of** had to stand up and move. > [@l1I235](#): > > They should **of** then moved on with their lives. > [@l1I235](#): > > Is there no saying they could **of** come slightly earlier to the film, and chosen any seat they wanted? > [@l1I235](#): > > If I had just moved to avoid what have you, and they had texted through the whole film, then I would **of** been really pissed. > [@l1I235](#): > > They could **of** sat in those seats on our sides, and I would not said a word. > [@l1I235](#): > > “Sorry, no”. It should **of** ended there. > [@l1I235](#): > > How is that relevant to the issue at hand? Without reading any further, I think we have evidence that you are completely lacking in grammatical skills, as well as social skills. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431.md?page=23)