# I'm not giving up my seat **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 16, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431 "2013-01-16T22:34:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 27
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/521 "2013-01-18T20:56:45Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > But again, if you’re coming from a place where even the request seems rude, does it then make it rude to politely decline? Just saying. And everyone would be up in arms if they’d just scooted down 18" and then had to deal with someone texting through the whole movie. The amount of ire leveled at the OP is simply bizarre. > > Oh, and to the idea that some are just enjoying poking her with sticks to watch her responds, I’ve got news for you. She’s not melting down, she hasn’t been discourteous, she hasn’t appeared to lose her ever-loving-nut dealing with the manufactured fallout from this. She just keeps repeating her position and not budging from it. Apparently that’s one of the things that’s pissing some people off. \< shrugs \> > > ETA: Sorry, someone posted while I was typing this up. The first part of my reply is in response to **MOL**. Please, faithfool. Pretending that we are all pissed off pawns in the OP’s game is just too crazy. I mean, you even threw in a nonchalant ‘shrug’ to show how cool and detached you are compared to us frothing, growling victims of the OP’s cool, calm responses. And what the hell does people rudely texting during a movie have to do with anything? Why did you try to connect that in? Should I not hold the door for a stranger because they may fart as they pass me? What a weird, random thing to suggest we would all not have the right to complain about a rude texter if we scooched over for them. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/522 "2013-01-18T20:57:58Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > This current tangent has gotten pretty stale. Has anybody asked about the ethnicity of the latecomers yet? I think there could be a fresh angle that might be able to push this thing to another 500 posts. Reports have it that Joe Paterno was complicit, somehow, in all this. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/523 "2013-01-18T21:01:35Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I’m sure they were minorities, which is why she had an “inkling” that they wouldn’t be good moviegoers. Race card: played. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/524 "2013-01-18T21:03:11Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I’m sure they were minorities, which is why she had an “inkling” that they wouldn’t be good moviegoers. What about the psychic aspect? She _knew_ they wouldn’t be good seat-neighbors…and then they PULLED OUT CELLPHONES AND MALICIOUSLY TEXTED AT HER!!! Clearly, Miss Cleo has got some competition ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/525 "2013-01-18T21:09:31Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > If the request seems rude to you, then you’re an unsocialized dog. See, this is just unnecessary. And obviously not directed at me, since I stated right off the bat that I would move in the same situation. But it’s still hilarious that anything outside our own experiences means everyone else is a dickhead. Good to know. > [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Please, faithfool. Pretending that we are all pissed off pawns in the OP’s game is just too crazy. I mean, you even threw in a nonchalant ‘shrug’ to show how cool and detached you are compared to us frothing, growling victims of the OP’s cool, calm responses. > > And what the hell does people rudely texting during a movie have to do with anything? Why did you try to connect that in? Should I not hold the door for a stranger because they may fart as they pass me? What a weird, random thing to suggest we would all not have the right to complain about a rude texter if we scooched over for them. Sorry, I am amused. I recently had a ridiculous dust up online and it’s really put things like this into perspective. Instead of it getting me all wound up, I do just shrug and laugh at everyone else being too invested. Doesn’t mean I’m cool (I don’t know if I’ve ever been accused of that :p), just means that I’ve been on this message board so long that stuff like this no longer fazes me. Your mileage may vary. And I brought up the texting thing because it was part of the original story and it’s interesting to think how Dopers would’ve attacked the OP if instead of things happening as they did, she’d have acquiesced to their request and then bitched about them texting. I can guarantee that more than one person would’ve ‘blamed the victim’ and said that if she hasn’t given in to an unreasonable request, she wouldn’t have had to deal with such rude behavior. Sorry that wasn’t easy to follow. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/526 "2013-01-18T21:09:36Z")
I am cracking up to tears. Haaa! faithfool is mad unsocialized dog! We are all laughing it up, playing keep away with the ball, waggin our asses off, and she over there under the bench with her ball talkin’ bout we mad. ETA: I POSTED THIS BEFORE I EVEN SAW HER LONG ASS ‘I’M NOT FAZED’ POST! I’M DYING ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/527 "2013-01-18T21:11:19Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Should I not hold the door for a stranger because they may fart as they pass me? Hilarious! > [@Fenris](#): > > What about the psychic aspect? She _knew_ they wouldn’t be good seat-neighbors…and then they PULLED OUT CELLPHONES AND MALICIOUSLY TEXTED AT HER!!! > > Clearly, Miss Cleo has got some competition I thought that was a nice touch. She _thought_ they might be bad customers, and you know what? _She was right!_ zOMG, VINDICATED!!! (Maybe I should start taking her to the movies with me so she can psychically sense who’s going to put their feet on the back of my chair, and who’s not.) Edit: faithfool, I meant the general “you” not _you_ you. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/528 "2013-01-18T21:13:49Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > > [@colander](#): > > > > I’m not sure why you’ve decided to march under the civility banner. In a list of civil posters in this thread, you’re not exactly in the top 40. > > I think you should actually make this list, and then post it. Yeah, but you know. Don’t strain yourself. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/529 "2013-01-18T21:17:03Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Yeah, but you know. Don’t strain yourself. That joke didn’t quite pan out. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/530 "2013-01-18T21:18:33Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > I am cracking up to tears. Haaa! faithfool is mad unsocialized dog! We are all laughing it up, playing keep away with the ball, waggin our asses off, and she over there under the bench with her ball talkin’ bout we mad. > > ETA: I POSTED THIS BEFORE I EVEN SAW HER LONG ASS ‘I’M NOT FAZED’ POST! I’M DYING Sorry for the too long ass post, but in between being hysterical, would you like to address any of my points? \< wags tail and looks longingly for ball out of reach \> Pant pant! And **MOL** , I understood that. But considering how much, um, leeway has been taken with whatever anyone has said, I figured I needed to be explicit. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/531 "2013-01-18T21:22:12Z")
What points, girl?? Bob Ducca, I thought it was pretty impress-sieve. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/532 "2013-01-18T21:36:07Z")
They were white. I am mixed race. Take from that what you will. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/533 "2013-01-18T21:36:37Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > What points, girl?? > > Bob Ducca, I thought it was pretty impress-sieve. Girl? Now that’s something I haven’t been called in forever. \< preens \> Thank you. 🙂 And to save trying to summarize, I’ll just quote myself… > [@faithfool](#): > > The hilarious thing to me about all this is that the OP put all her disclaimers in her original post and yet folks still don’t believe her. Whenever we’ve had anyone come back to clarify what they originally meant, they are obviously lying. Because they didn’t give us all the information up front. Now the reverse happens and she’s not telling the truth either. Just can’t win with this crowd. > > It’s also a hoot how vehement everyone is. On one hand, those who would deny this type of request are assholes and never do common courtesies. On the other, those that would give in to bullies are pussies. How about something in the middle? Some see even the thought of asking as rude, others see ignoring the social construct as rude. Regardless, none of that should illicit such histrionics. > > Also, it bears repeating what was already mentioned… I’m assuming the only singles in the theatre weren’t the two on either side of the OP and her fellow. Why were they the only option for the latecomers? Even for those who would make a similar request, if turned down, wouldn’t you just move on to another location that had the same setup? Why that _particular_ seat(s)? > > Finally, I giggle the most at the thought of what would’ve happened if the OP would’ve written this account from the perspective of the latecomers. Most Dopers would have complained about her grousing and noted “That even when one makes a polite request, no one owes you anything.” and then there would have been many Miss Manners mentions and cites. > > Ha. I love the cognitive dissonance of this place. Warms the cockles of my heart, it does. So to recap: 1.) Calling almost everything the OP said as lying. 2.) Demonizing (for lack of a better word) the other sides position. This goes both ways. 3.) Only those seats? Again, I apologize for the length. Couldn’t think of a faster way to respond besides just re-posting the whole thing. I think that covers the basics. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/534 "2013-01-18T21:37:40Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > They were white. > > I am mixed race. > > Take from that what you will. Oh, I bet YOU ARE NOT!!1! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/535 "2013-01-18T21:40:17Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Girl? Now that’s something I haven’t been called in forever. \< preens \> Thank you. 🙂 And to save trying to summarize, I’ll just quote myself… > > So to recap: 1.) Calling almost everything the OP said as lying. 2.) Demonizing (for lack of a better word) the other sides position. This goes both ways. 3.) Only those seats? > > Again, I apologize for the length. Couldn’t think of a faster way to respond besides just re-posting the whole thing. > I think that covers the basics. I never said the OP was lying. Ever. I never demonized her. If you read my posts in this thread, I said the OP WAS NOT WRONG. She has every right to decline. I think, though, it would have been nicer of her to oblige. She asked in the OP for opinions, and that was mine. I think you are confusing people laughing at the OP with people thinking the OP is the devil. ETA: and ‘girl’ is just a figure of speech in my culture. But you knew that already. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/536 "2013-01-18T21:40:46Z")
For the record, I think race has nothing to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/537 "2013-01-18T21:42:04Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Oh, I bet YOU ARE NOT!!1! > > 😉 Haha. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/538 "2013-01-18T21:43:44Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > They were white. > > I am mixed race. Well in that case you were definitely rude. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/539 "2013-01-18T21:45:21Z")
See, this whole thread could have been avoided if you barbarians had reserved seats in your movie theaters. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2013, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/540 "2013-01-18T21:48:53Z")
There’s an improv theatre in these parts that \*makes \*everyone move all the way over in order to avoid this kind of fuckery. Anyone who comes in late just grabs the seats at the end, and ta da. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431.md?page=26) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431.md?page=28)