# I'm not giving up my seat **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 16, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431 "2013-01-16T22:34:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/61 "2013-01-17T00:23:24Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > Good to know that there are even bigger jerks than them out there. Something to keep in mind before you challenge someone to a tournament of wills, Toots. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/62 "2013-01-17T00:24:48Z")
> [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > Enjoy the SBDs. 😕 The hell? In your fantasy scenario, you would have been farting next to all the other movie goers too. But as long as you got your way, that’s all that matters, right? ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/63 "2013-01-17T00:27:41Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > I owe these people nothing. They owe it to themselves to come not 5 minutes late, so they can get a seat to their liking. Exactly. You owe them nothing. Why would one do anything to be helpful to anyone else unless one owed them something? What is this, some sort of civil society? It’s every man or woman for themselves. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/64 "2013-01-17T00:28:22Z")
I think the OP would be getting less flak here if she were just honest about why she didn’t want to acquiesce to a reasonable request to shift seats. You were annoyed that you were there 30 minutes early and these people were going to show up right when the movie was starting and potentially get a seat as good as yours. You weren’t worried about sniffles to the left of you, you were grouchy at the late people as soon as they started scoping your section for a seat. Otherwise you would have come up with a different solution, like your husband switching to your other side and giving them the two seats to your right. If you’d just been honest about that, you’d have a lot more people on your side here I think. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/65 "2013-01-17T00:28:58Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > But as long as you got your way, that’s all that matters, right? That’s right, Toots. You’re not the only one looking out for Numero Uno. So, if you’re going to be a ballbuster, you better be prepared for the fight. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/66 "2013-01-17T00:29:40Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > I gave 3 reasons why I did not want to move, I don’t know why everyone thinks it was just that. When you include a reason that can’t possibly be true due to the ability to move the opposite direction, it kind of makes people question what you wrote. If the people asked nicely, then 99.999999% of people move in theaters because a 1 seat difference is rarely a problem and everyone just expects this type of courtesy. If they didn’t ask nicely then that’s a different story. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/67 "2013-01-17T00:30:34Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > Good to know that there are even bigger jerks than them out there. The irony, it… well, it doesn’t burn but it’s on the warm side. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/68 "2013-01-17T00:31:03Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > I think the OP would be getting less flak here if she were just honest about why she didn’t want to acquiesce to a reasonable request to shift seats. You were annoyed that you were there 30 minutes early and these people were going to show up right when the movie was starting and potentially get a seat as good as yours. > > You weren’t worried about sniffles to the left of you, you were grouchy at the late people as soon as they started scoping your section for a seat. Otherwise you would have come up with a different solution, like your husband switching to your other side and giving them the two seats to your right. > > If you’d just been honest about that, you’d have a lot more people on your side here I think. First off, I’m not married. Second, I had a choice. Sniffly girl, or worse seats. I am not taking either. Third, I said in the first post, and I quote: > [@](#): > > On top of that, I don’t care for entitled people, and I a had an inkling they would not be the best movie goers. And what did they do? Text during the whole 3 hour long movie. Who would of thunk. > > But to me, I don’t need a reason. If I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to. It’s as simple as that. As the old adage goes…“A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part”. How do you suggest I could of made that more honest? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/69 "2013-01-17T00:31:24Z")
Based on the tone of some of the OP’s responses here, I’m inclined to believe that she wasn’t nearly as neutral in her original declines as she’s suggesting. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Stilettos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/fbc32d/32.png) [@Red\_Stilettos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Stilettos)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/70 "2013-01-17T00:33:00Z")
I don’t think you were obligated to move, given the empty rows in front of you. However, I would have moved to prevent the disruption that you and the other couple caused for all of the other theater patrons _during the movie_. Had this occurred before the movie or during previews, I might have said no and risked the confrontation. But after the movie starts, I would have put the priority on limiting the disruption. I know you didn’t start it, but saying no certainly prolonged it. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/71 "2013-01-17T00:33:32Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Based on the tone of some of the OP’s responses here, I’m inclined to believe that she wasn’t nearly as neutral in her original declines as she’s suggesting. Sorry, that you think I am lying. I don’t start randomly screaming and swearing at people. In NYC, that’s a good way to get killed. “Sorry, no”. It should of ended there. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/72 "2013-01-17T00:34:20Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > Sorry, that you think I am lying. I don’t start randomly screaming and swearing at people. In NYC, that’s a good way to get killed. > > “Sorry, no”. It should of ended there. And for Chrissakes, it’s “should have” and “could have.” ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/73 "2013-01-17T00:36:34Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > Sorry, that you think I am lying. I don’t start randomly screaming and swearing at people. In NYC, that’s a good way to get killed. > > “Sorry, no”. It should of ended there. I don’t think you’re lying- I’m sure you think you were very neutral in your replies. Just as I’m sure you think you’re being neutral here. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/74 "2013-01-17T00:36:41Z")
> [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > And for Chrissakes, it’s “should have” and “could have.” How is that relevant to the issue at hand? ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/75 "2013-01-17T00:37:33Z")
I’m seeing the same sense of entitlement in this thread that the OP saw in the late-comers. Once she had her seat, it’s hers - period. The late-comers were perfectly welcome to ask her to move, but it’s a request and it can be denied. It doesn’t have to meet some objective standard that pleases them or anyone else. The ONLY acceptable response on their part would be to move on, or take the separate seats. Saying “No” to a request is not instigating a scene or provoking someone - it’s exercise your own rights. The lesson here is to appreciate the times someone does go out of their way to cut you a break, as no one has to and not everyone is inclined to. I’ve moved over for lots of people, but no should feel like they have to if they don’t want to. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/76 "2013-01-17T00:38:07Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > I don’t think you’re lying- I’m sure you think you very neutral in your replies. Just as I’m sure you think you’re being neutral here. So you think “Sorry, no” in a hushed tone was combative? I did my best, even when they kept coming at me, even when he started cussing me out. But there it is. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/77 "2013-01-17T00:38:50Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > Sorry, that you think I am lying. What do you think that means? “Sorry that you…”? There are a few people I know that say this, and they all have certain personality traits. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/78 "2013-01-17T00:39:17Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > I’m seeing the same sense of entitlement in this thread that the OP saw in the late-comers. Once she had her seat, it’s hers - period. The late-comers were perfectly welcome to ask her to move, but it’s a request and it can be denied. It doesn’t have to meet some objective standard that pleases them or anyone else. The ONLY acceptable response on their part would be to move on, or take the separate seats. Saying “No” to a request is not instigating a scene or provoking someone - it’s exercise your own rights. > > The lesson here is to appreciate the times someone does go out of their way to cut you a break, as no one has to and not everyone is inclined to. I’ve moved over for lots of people, but no should feel like they have to if they don’t want to. Well, since I’m not married…😉 Just kidding. Thanks for understanding my POV. ---
**Author:** ![Sevencl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sevencl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevencl)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/79 "2013-01-17T00:39:39Z")
There’s no way to ask politely for someone to move. You can’t pretty up “I’d rather I had these good seats than you, so move”. Like OP said, get there earlier. What entitles those people to those seats more than anyone else? ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/80 "2013-01-17T00:40:10Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > Second, I had a choice. Sniffly girl, or worse seats. I am not taking either. What about your other choice, where you stayed exactly where you were sitting and you also don’t end up sitting any closer to the person with sniffles, by having your SO (or whatever he is) switching to your other side? It’s because you wanted to be difficult, there’s no other reasonable explanation. And how do you know those people weren’t killing themselves to try and get to the theater early but got stuck in traffic, or their babysitter was late, or the waiter wouldn’t bring them their check quickly enough, or any other number of reasons why they may have been late. You automatically assumed the worst, and labeled them as feeling “entitled” for asking the couple hogging 4 seats to give two of them up. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431.md?page=5)