# I'm not giving up my seat **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 16, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431 "2013-01-16T22:34:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 44
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/861 "2013-01-20T21:44:00Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > If you google for the neutral phrase “movie seating etiquette” the first page has multiple examples of moving down a seat. > > This from the very first hit: > "Movie Theater Seating Etiquette and Using The Force > Once in the theater, it’s important to remember a few seating manners. If the film is a new release \*\*or is certain to be full, \*\*make an effort to not leave empty seats between yourself and the nearest party. That one buffer seat seems appropriate until it forces an usher to ask you to move down. Go ahead and take it upon yourself to squeeze in so those sitting after you don’t have to wonder if the seat is taken. If you happen to be the poor patron who is tasked with finding two seats together on a row of every-other-seats, be kind about requesting others to shift. I usually ask like this: “Excuse me. Is that seat taken? I don’t like to impose, but would you mind scooting one seat?” Then wrap that awkward conversation up with a very humble “thank you.” " It’s conditional on the theater being full. Jesus. It’s your quotation. Did you read it? ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/862 "2013-01-20T21:52:33Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > … And she never said every single seat other than the first five rows were taken. Presumably, if there had been 2 available seats close together other than the OP’s, the couple would have tried to get them rather than settling for the 5th row. Which tells me that most of the moviegoers had enough sense not to try to hoard buffer seats in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/863 "2013-01-20T21:52:49Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > It’s conditional on the theater being full. Jesus. It’s your quotation. Did you read it? 5 crappy rows in front is “full”. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/864 "2013-01-20T21:54:00Z")
The other person being an asshole doesn’t relieve you of your social obligation not to be an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/865 "2013-01-20T22:34:20Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > **grabs DSeid by the arms and shakes him** > > Stop it man! … Problem is, COMEDY. Oh yes, comedy is the dark horse that you and your researchers haven’t considered. What you called rude was often just jokes. Trig Palin? Joke. Me calling someone a socialized dog? Joke … Like I said before, I often read humorous insults mixed with some actual discussion in The Pit. Just not this time. Retard as a laugh getter? Really? > [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Damn it, **DSeid**! I like you. But there is nothing wrong with trade school - or trying to develop marketable job skills. This was a piss-poor insult. … Yeah, I admit, you probably won’t get the best insult jokes from me either. I was going for a The Onion “Ask The …” vibe and found some humor in AU’s cluelessness … until I found out he is just 15. I thought it was funny but YMMV. > [@RaftPeople](#): > > If you google for the neutral phrase “movie seating etiquette” the first page has multiple examples of moving down a seat. > > This from the very first hit: > "Movie Theater Seating Etiquette and Using The Force > Once in the theater, it’s important to remember a few seating manners. If the film is a new release or is certain to be full, make an effort to not leave empty seats between yourself and the nearest party. … " Yes. Full. No one disputes that. Seats available but not “ideal” ones is NOT full. This theater was not full. Please also note how “Modern Manners Guy” is very aware that asking people to move is asking a favor of them. A favor that is reasonable to assent to and one that deserves, in his words, a very humble thank you, if granted. > [@RaftPeople](#): > > If you were right and the majority of the people didn’t think shifting over a seat is the right thing to do when only crappy or no seats are left, then surely we would find multiple examples of “movie etiquette” that say “it is rude to ask someone to shift over a seat if there are any seats still remaining”. > > But guess what? We don’t see that in the movie etiquette guides, we see the opposite. Um no we do not. Only if the theater is likely FULL, sold out or nearly so. No crappy seat bit. Five front rows empty IS NOT FULL. OTOH from the same search you ran we have [this](http://voices.yahoo.com/movie-theater-etiquette-250301.html?cat=7) > [@](#): > > Once the lights dim, finding a seat can be difficult. Patrons who arrive five or ten minutes late create a disruption. Walking up and down the aisles, and constantly inquiring about seat availability is annoying to person’s who arrived on time. **Late arrivals should not be choosey about seats. Rather, take the first available seat, which is usually toward the front of the theater.** Bolding mine. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/866 "2013-01-20T22:41:11Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > Yes, but you would be in the clear minority with that opinion. Do you have anything to back this up, other than your opinon? Because faithfool did the numbers, and in this very thread, the majority think I did nothing wrong. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/867 "2013-01-20T22:59:46Z")
Hey, don’t conjure me back up. I’m just the researcher who had to be explained to that everyone was just joking, ya dickhead. I’m off to find a another thread where folks intrinsically understand that different people do things differently without it being THE WORSTEST THING EVAR1!11one 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/868 "2013-01-20T23:16:18Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > Yes, but you would be in the clear minority with that opinion. Most people I know would move without someone needing to ask them. I’ve even moved in advance of anyone asking because I can see how full it is and it’s just the right thing to do. > > If the only seats are in the first 5 rows then that is what is meant by “full”. For most people the first 5 rows are not an enjoyable experience. > > Even in the case of the OP this is clearly true by the fact that everyone had chosen to sit in seats anywhere except for the first 5 rows. > > Even the people in the 6th row that could have had more space to themselves chose not to move to the 5th row because it was just that much worse than the 6th row. Right all around. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve approached the bar, for example, and someone with buffer seats will say to me and my drinking mate, “Hey, do you two wanna sit down?” Then we say, “That’d be great. Thanks so much,” and then they say, “Sure, no problem,” and the conversation is over. Sometimes you don’t even have to ask, people will just offer. And then when people do ask, every single time in my existence, at the bar or movie theatre or comedy show or wherever, the person always, 100% of the time, zero exceptions ever, moves over. It literally never even occurred to me that someone would refuse. Also, you’re right about the first rows barely even counting as seats, but you know some clowns are thinking “Well as long as there were two available seats _anywhere_ in the theatre, then I don’t have to move into the available seats next to me.” Right, we’ve already established that you don’t have to do shit but pay taxes and die, but one way is the polite way that everybody else does, requires pretty much no effort at all on your part, makes everybody happy, and the other way is the stubborn “I don’t have to, you can’t make me, nyah nyah nyah!” way. > [@RaftPeople](#): > > We get it, you don’t want to shift over 1 seat. > > Nobody is going to arrest you. > > Most people will think you are an asshole. Here’s the thing, mon ami. Like I said 100 pages ago, anyone who won’t move is either a petulant prick, or doesn’t get enough fresh air to understand the way people operate. The more I read this thread, it seems like most of the respondents here who would refuse to move probably aren’t jerks, but are really just socially clueless. Seriously, whatsherbucket flat out said she feels like she’s being suckered when someone asks her to move down one. What? How crazy is that on a scale of 1-10? What has to be going on in your head to think that way? Nobody is trying to take advantage of you. Dude just wants to sit next to his girlfriend, Jesus. ---
**Author:** ![resting](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@resting](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/resting)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/869 "2013-01-20T23:42:00Z")
Just because someone does not move when there are other seats available, does not make them a prick. Mean old lady, it’s not your fault. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/870 "2013-01-20T23:42:58Z")
> [@Trom](#): > > One! > > Two! > > Three! > > Four! > > Four assholes in the movie theater, ah ah ah! > > Had I been a patron that witnessed the exchange being discussed in this thread I would have concluded that everyone involved was a childish assclown. Oh, you mean like: “_eins zwei drei vier, vielen Juden toten hier!_” Oooookay… \… ---
**Author:** ![resting](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@resting](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/resting)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/871 "2013-01-20T23:50:21Z")
Isn’t it creepy if a man sits next to a woman in a empty movie theatre with no assigned seating? ---
**Author:** ![Sevencl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sevencl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevencl)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/872 "2013-01-20T23:51:14Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Also, you’re right about the first rows barely even counting as seats, but you know some clowns are thinking “Well as long as there were two available seats _anywhere_ in the theatre, then I don’t have to move into the available seats next to me.” Right, we’ve already established that you don’t have to do shit but pay taxes and die, but one way is the polite way that everybody else does, requires pretty much no effort at all on your part, makes everybody happy, and the other way is the stubborn “I don’t have to, you can’t make me, nyah nyah nyah!” way. I’d also move if there were no other seats but next to me, but I think not wanting to sit in proximity to strangers _when there are alternatives_ is a fairly common thing. Maybe not ubiquitous, but common. ---
**Author:** ![splatterpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@splatterpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splatterpunk)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2013, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/873 "2013-01-20T23:55:15Z")
> [@resting](#): > > Isn’t it creepy if a man sits next to a woman in a empty movie theatre with no assigned seating? Yes, it is. What does that have to do with anything, dumbshit? ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/874 "2013-01-21T00:03:13Z")
> [@Sevencl](#): > > I’d also move if there were no other seats but next to me, but I think not wanting to sit in proximity to strangers _when there are alternatives_ is a fairly common thing. Maybe not ubiquitous, but common. Not in any theatre I’ve been in. Give a choice between the front and sitting next to people, most people choose people, hence the empty front rows from the start of the thread vs them being randomly scattered. Otara ---
**Author:** ![resting](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@resting](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/resting)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/875 "2013-01-21T00:05:41Z")
> [@splatterpunk](#): > > Yes, it is. What does that have to do with anything, dumbshit? Use your manners, child. I was obviously referring to mean old lady’s post. ---
**Author:** ![Sevencl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sevencl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevencl)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/876 "2013-01-21T00:08:58Z")
> [@Otara](#): > > Not in any theatre I’ve been in. Give a choice between the front and sitting next to people, most people choose people, hence the empty front rows from the start of the thread vs them being randomly scattered. > > Otara Well, at that point, it’s OP’s discomfort at being crammed between a bunch of strangers vs latecomer’s discomfort at being stuck in a row nearer the screen. Who loses? ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/877 "2013-01-21T00:15:25Z")
Both if they both act like idiots. They could have just sat on either side of her, and then everyone could have had a long uncomfortable movie. She was basically relying on them being less bloody minded than her, and lost. Otara ---
**Author:** ![duality72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duality72/32/3910_2.png) [@duality72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duality72)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/878 "2013-01-21T00:23:47Z")
> [@RaftPeople](#): > > 5 crappy rows in front is “full”. Mr. Goalpost? Hi. I can see you are very comfortable where you are, but I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind moving over a bit? How far? Um, about five rows? What? You won’t? Why the hell not? What do you mean “full means full”? Full means what I and my fellow true shamans of social understanding want it to mean. It’s a simple fucking request. Just take a few seconds to shift over and we can all get on with our lives. Well, fuck you then! I hope you and all of your extended family die in a fire! What a cunt lacking all social understanding and tact you are! ---
**Author:** ![resting](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@resting](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/resting)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/879 "2013-01-21T00:24:50Z")
They were less bloody minded because the op did not move. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/880 "2013-01-21T00:31:05Z")
Talk about slippery slope. What would you have done? -\> It’s a matter of courtesy -\> It’s a matter of common decency -\> It’s a matter of basic human empathy -\> It’s a matter of if you’re of the human species or an unsocialized subspecies -\> It’s a matter of if you have a soul -\> Satan vs God in the ultimate showdown of good vs evil. MPSIMS - I held a door open today for a mom but didn’t wait for her entire family to file through and it started closing in on her 2nd eldest. Doomed to hell or merely unsocialized dog? I read at above grade level but my spatial recognition does need work and I’m allergic to shellfish and ragweed but wasn’t properly diagnosed until recently. I’m not white and the lady and her family were full white. There were other doors to walk through, but on the left, opposite of convention in the US. Thoughts? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431.md?page=43) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431.md?page=45)