# I'm not giving up my seat **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 16, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431 "2013-01-16T22:34:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 52
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1021 "2013-01-21T23:24:48Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > It’s no mystery that theatres are first come, first served. > > That in NYC, movies tend to fill up fast, so it’s a good idea to get there early. > > That 3 week old movies, just nominated for a shit ton of Oscars will probably be popular. > > That showing up late to a movie will likely result in you no longer having your choice of seats. > > Yet, I am supposed to accommodate someone who thinks they are above all of that. Right. It’s no mystery that people sometimes show up to movies a little late. That there are all kinds of circumstances that don’t fall under the heading “selfish,” that may cause this to happen. That people generally prefer seats higher up than lower down. That when a couple sees two seats on either side of another couple in a preferred higher row, it’s to be expected that they’ll ask the middle-sitters to move over. Yet you think you have some “right” to those seats because you sat there first, but that the other couple have no right to expect you to follow common social courtesies. You were a jerk. Just because there were 5 rows of empty seats in front doesn’t mean there weren’t _also_ two empty seats in the row you were in. There _were_ two seats in that row, and to not allow people to sit together in available seats in the row they preferred was assholish in the extreme. If I had been that couple I’d have gone out, found a manager and had them come in and make you move \*your \*entitled ass over. And trust me, they would have. ETA: Oh, and just like you made up some ridiculous excuse for being rude, I’d have told the theater manager that I was recovering from a recent neck injury and couldn’t sit down low without extreme physical discomfort. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1022 "2013-01-21T23:25:26Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Hentor, Hentor… doll. I don’t mean to keep invoking that forbidden phrase, but let’s all let this go now. You know how in the real world people are like “Oh sure, no problem” and just do it? Yeah, that’s what actually happens, but there was a theory here about the mindframe about the kind of person who somehow feels it’s okay to not just move one seat. We’ve seen more than one person express they feel like they’re being duped when someone asks if they can please move over so that someone & co can sit next to each other, and another person says this makes them feel “mown down.” There is reality that people with healthy self esteem and social lives don’t live in. You can’t win. These people feel perpetually victimized. When you ask them if you and your girlfriend can sit next to each other, they feel like this is some battle between right and wrong, early and late, earned and unearned. It’s not. Dude just wants to sit next to his date. This is not a jerk vs not-jerk debate (for the most part), it appears. We’re talking to people who honestly feel like basic human interactions are an encroachment on their very person. > > Let’s let them have it. Wanna have a drink? Let’s go to the bar. We may have to ask people to move over so that we can sit next to each other, but don’t worry. The person will be happy to do it. Please, by all means, leave this thread, and don’t come back. At least I stood up to someone in real life. I wonder how often you do that? ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1023 "2013-01-21T23:27:25Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > If I had been that couple I’d have gone out, found a manager and had them come in and make you move \*your \*entitled ass over. And trust me, they would have. Finally! Someone made me laugh out loud! The manager would have told them to find another damn seat. Eta: Well, I had a broken leg, so I could not stand, and my cat mittens died. Look at the picture I posted. The 5th row did not require neck craning. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1024 "2013-01-21T23:30:35Z")
Shayna coming into a movie after it has begun is not selfish. Disturbing others who were not late unecessarilly is. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1025 "2013-01-21T23:33:04Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > ETA: Oh, and just like you made up some ridiculous excuse for being rude, I’d have told the theater manager that I was recovering from a recent neck injury and couldn’t sit down low without extreme physical discomfort. :dubious: So, you would make up some bullshit lie to get what you want. You know, I could have lied, and said those seats were taken. But I did not. Hmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1026 "2013-01-21T23:43:40Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > At least I stood up to someone in real life. I wonder how often you do that? You’re a fucking bag of bananas. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1027 "2013-01-21T23:45:09Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > Finally! Someone made me laugh out loud! > > The manager would have told them to find another damn seat. > > Eta: Well, I had a broken leg, so I could not stand, and my cat mittens died. > > Look at the picture I posted. The 5th row did not require neck craning. And my mother died and I had walking pneumonia. So the hell what? > [@DSeid](#): > > Shayna coming into a movie after it has begun is not selfish. Disturbing others who were not late unecessarilly is. I _tried_ to be on time, but on my way to the theater an _hour_ early, the car in front of me hit a pedestrian and I had to wait for an ambulance to come clear the dead body away. In other words, miss mademoiselle has no idea why those people happened to be late; it may have been out of their control. But she’d rather assign rudeness to them than give them the benefit of the doubt. > [@l1I235](#): > > :dubious: > > So, you would make up some bullshit lie to get what you want. > > You know, I could have lied, and said those seats were taken. But I did not. > > Hmmm… I do have a neck injury as well as a rotator cuff injury _and_ osteoarthritis in my neck, so no need to lie. Notice I didn’t say “lie,” I said a bullshit _excuse_. Your unwillingness to move our entitled ass over to accommodate people was based on a lame, bullshit excuse. You would not have died if your husband had stepped over you and taken the other empty seat. YOUR ass would still have been exactly where it was. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1028 "2013-01-21T23:47:14Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > At least I stood up to someone in real life. If this incident represents a real achievement in your life, you have my honest congratulations. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1029 "2013-01-21T23:48:06Z")
Shayna honestly I do not think the manager would have made someone else move around, especially not while the movie was in progress and while other seats were open. At best your bullshit lie, on edit, excuse, might have gotten you the offer of a refund to come back another time. And then laughed at when you sat down in an open seat. I’ve read your posts a long time Shayna. I seriously cannot picture you as someone who would come in after a movie had started (no matter how good the reason for the delay) and feel that you then had the right to make other people get up and shift around so that you could avoid having to sit closer than you’d ideally like. Really? Who’s using your account? ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1030 "2013-01-21T23:48:33Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > If this incident represents a real achievement in your life, you have my honest congratulations. Bet you a steak dinner next time you’re in town she’s a Republican. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1031 "2013-01-21T23:48:46Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > You’re a fucking bag of bananas. I take it you have not read the posts saying that MOL is the type to act big and bad on the internet to make up for real life inadequacies. She has yet to refute that is true. Though I am sure she will now. That said, it is painfully obvious she is. I am guessing you are the same type. You know, the kind who will type things they would never say in a face to face situation? ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1032 "2013-01-21T23:50:05Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > Bet you a steak dinner next time you’re in town she’s a Republican. And here we go again. My political affiliations, all based on an incident in a movie theatre. My God, you are dumb. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1033 "2013-01-21T23:51:44Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Shayna honestly I do not think the manager would have made someone else move around, especially not while the movie was in progress and while other seats were open. At best your bullshit lie might have gotten you the offer of a refund to come back another time. And then laughed at when you sat down in an open seat. > > I’ve read your posts a long time Shayna. I seriously cannot picture you as someone who would come in after a movie had started (no matter how good the reason for the delay) and feel that you then had the right to make other people get up and shift around so that you could avoid having to sit closer than you’d ideally like. > > Really? > > Who’s using your account? Of course I wouldn’t have _expected_ people to move for me. But in my 51 years on this planet I have also never, ever encountered some rude bitch who _refused_ to do so when I’ve asked. The point I’m trying to make is that the people who asked her to move her ass weren’t out of line; she was, by not just having her husband hop over a single seat so they could sit together in the empty seats that were still available in that row. It’s not as if they were asking her to move to a different _row_. There were seats there just like there were seats in the first 5 rows. Just be polite and move you ass over. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1034 "2013-01-21T23:52:05Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > If this incident represents a real achievement in your life, you have my honest congratulations. It’s not. It was one night at the movies, nothing more, nothing less. This is not even close to the most interesting thing I have seen happen in the audience of a movie theater. But thanks anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1035 "2013-01-21T23:52:48Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > And here we go again. My political affiliations, all based on an incident in a movie theatre. > > My God, you are dumb. And you’re rude. Own it babe. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1036 "2013-01-21T23:53:05Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > Of course I wouldn’t have _expected_ people to move for me. But in my 51 years on this planet I have also never, ever encountered some rude bitch who _refused_ to do so when I’ve asked. > > The point I’m trying to make is that the people who asked her to move her ass weren’t out of line; she was, by not just having her husband hop over a single seat so they could sit together in the empty seats that were still available in that row. It’s not as if they were asking her to move to a different _row_. There were seats there just like there were seats in the first 5 rows. Just be polite and move you ass over. For the third fuckng time, I am not married. Try reading a little first, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1037 "2013-01-21T23:54:00Z")
I worked as an usher in my youth. We certainly did make people move around if the theater was full. We did this even if the movie had started. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1038 "2013-01-21T23:54:09Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > And you’re rude. Own it babe. Well apparently I am also a republican, “babe”. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1039 "2013-01-21T23:55:34Z")
Shayna aint dumb. She is wrong this time I think, and I think, indeed saying she’d do something that in real life she would not do, but not dumb, and from past reads of her posts, not a jerk. She is however being odd with that Republican comment. Hentor, did “full” mean the first first five rows were empty? ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2013, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1040 "2013-01-21T23:55:54Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > I worked as an usher in my youth. We certainly did make people move around if the theater was full. We did this even if the movie had started. I dont know how long ago that was, but… My SO worked at a theatre in college. This was around 10 years ago. He says the manager would have told them to find another seat. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431.md?page=51) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431.md?page=53)