# I'm not giving up my seat **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 16, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431 "2013-01-16T22:34:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 54
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1061 "2013-01-22T01:25:59Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Yeah, it kind of makes you wonder about the kind of person who would post 174 times in a thread about some movie seats. They must be pretty desperate for attention. Huh? She started the thread and asked for opinions and has the (gasp!) nerve to respond to people (good and bad) about the contents of the thread she started to get opinions? That whore! Seriously, this thread has over 1000 replies at you think she’s desperate for attention for participating with the people giving the opinions she asked for? **Giraffe** , that’s nuts. > [@Shayna](#): > > You’re an asshole. Is there some medication you were supposed to take today which is rendering you hysterical and hypersensitive to this difference of opinion on a (possible) mild social faux paus? You really seem completely unhinged about something that is so laughably minor that it’s bewildering. As far as the OP: Honestly, I’d have just moved over. It’s not like moving a seat or two to the left or right is truly going to ruin my movie experience. I’d chalk the latecomer up to being an asshole who arrives late but wants the primo seats and go on with my night. It is odd the amount of vitriol that’s being thrown around regarding something so mild. I can remember reading a thread here where someone was talking about not letting people merge into traffic ahead of them. In that thread people were siding with the OP with the feeling that those people trying to merge in ahead of people who are waiting were thinking they were too good to wait like everyone else. I’ve also seen other threads with people defending other weird borderline road rage issues and we’re talking about using a two ton vehicle as a weapon to “school” folks on manners. This is a thread where someone simply didn’t want to move their seat and people are acting like she’s some kind of sociopath. It must be a scary place in the head of some of y’all. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1062 "2013-01-22T01:26:12Z")
before this thread ends, let’s get something important settled: Shayna, how do you make the little heart? it’s not \<3 like it is on FB > [@](#): > > My love for you has deepened with this post. ❤ ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1063 "2013-01-22T01:28:17Z")
Here’s what I think at this point for mademoiselle’s case: 1. The couple that came and asked mademoiselle to move was borderline rude. What I mean by that is it wasn’t exactly rude, but it takes a lot of guts to disturb someone’s movie experience just so they can sit together in the seats they want. However, it’s still a reasonable request, but barely. There were five reasonable rows to sit in. Like I said, these rows weren’t in the absolute front where it’s uncomfortable to view to movie. The open seats were absolutely fine. 2. The OP’s best move was to move. At this point when you’re asked to move, most people would have obliged. I think it was slightly rude for the OP to decline because when you’re asked in public to perform a courteous move, you usually do it. I actually, cannot imagine decline myself. But I don’t think the OP’s move was that bad. It was fine for to decline given that there were five fine rows. But it would have been better for her to oblige. 3. After this, the couple went insane. No question about this. 4. Shayna… It looks like we have a clone of MeanOldLady… There are 21 pages of replies…perhaps you could read them? ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1064 "2013-01-22T01:30:27Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > Why do you feel so strongly about this? > > Are you by any chance the sort who shows up late to a movie, and demands the seat of their choice, even if it is already occupied? > > But you are up for lying to get your way. (oh, I’m sorry, “use an excuse”.) That is something I never stooped to. > > Also, your “neck injury” would have been fine in any of the other scattered seats around me, or even, gasp! The seats on the side of us. > > As I said, the manager would have told ou to find another seat. I’ve already said, I’m the sort of person who shows up to a movie early, takes a seat, then offers to scootch over if a pair want to sit down and the crowd has created odd gaps in the row I’m in. Twenty inches to the left or right won’t kill me … **no matter what time those people show up.** And it wouldn’t have killed you, either, but you just had to show your superiority over people who were OMG late. How DARE they? > [@artemis](#): > > I see no reason to be accommodating to people **like the couple** … See, this is what I’m talking about. You don’t know those people. You don’t know what prevented them from arriving earlier. Why on earth do you think it’s acceptable public social behavior to treat them as if they’re assholes just because they got there in the first 3 minutes of the movie? Maybe it would have been nicer had they simply snuck in and taken a seat in the first 5 rows. But they didn’t. They wanted to sit higher up. They saw two empty seats, _asked_ if they were taken, were told they were _not_, then _asked_ the people in the middle of them if they’d mind moving over. That does not make them horrible people just because it’s not what you would have done. What the hell ever happened to making the _best_ of a situation, even if you think the other people are out of line, and thereby not ruining the event for everyone around you? We’ve stopped being _decent_ in this country. It’s obnoxious. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1065 "2013-01-22T01:32:26Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > Also, your “neck injury” would have been fine in any of the other scattered seats around me, or even, gasp! The seats on the side of us. Actually, if the only place a couple could sit together was too far forward, if one has neck issues, that WOULD be a problem. Certainly would for me (I’ve had a couple of whiplashes). OTOH, if a couple wants to sit together and have a better selection of seats, on-time arrival is the thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1066 "2013-01-22T01:35:09Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > Actually, if the only place a couple could sit together was too far forward, if one has neck issues, that WOULD be a problem. Certainly would for me (I’ve had a couple of whiplashes). > > OTOH, if a couple wants to sit together and have a better selection of seats, on-time arrival is the thing to do. But they weren’t too far forward. The five rows in question were fine seats ABOVE the gap. I’ve sat there. It is nothing to complain about. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1067 "2013-01-22T01:36:51Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Hentor, did “full” mean the first first five rows were empty? That particular situation honestly never came up. Our manager was pretty accomodating to any individual request, so I don’t know which particular idiosyncrasy he would have sided with. I admit I’m dubious of the details offered by the OP, however. Our box office would warn people when only x% of seats remained, noting they would probably have to sit in the less desirable seats down front. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1068 "2013-01-22T01:41:11Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > But they weren’t too far forward. The five rows in question were fine seats ABOVE the gap. I’ve sat there. It is nothing to complain about. Ah. I had misunderstood and thought the five rows in question were the five frontmost (I admit to not having read all twenty-two pages of this thread). Thanks for clearing that up. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1069 "2013-01-22T01:42:44Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > We’ve stopped being _decent_ in this country. It’s obnoxious. Indeed. Why don’t you start the revolution by calling me an asshole again? Or Mean Old Lady could, by calling anyone who disagrees with her a dickhead. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1070 "2013-01-22T01:43:45Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > Ah. I had misunderstood and thought the five rows in question were the five frontmost (I admit to not having read all twenty-two pages of this thread). Thanks for clearing that up. 🙂 Yeah that is what I thought at first too. ---
**Author:** ![artemis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/91b2a8/32.png) [@artemis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/artemis)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1071 "2013-01-22T01:44:40Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > See, this is what I’m talking about. You don’t know those people. You don’t know what prevented them from arriving earlier. And I don’t care. Late is late. > [@](#): > > Maybe it would have been nicer had they simply snuck in and taken a seat in the first 5 rows. But they didn’t. They wanted to sit higher up. They saw two empty seats, _asked_ if they were taken, were told they were _not_, then _asked_ the people in the middle of them if they’d mind moving over. That does not make them horrible people just because it’s not what you would have done. No, what makes them horrible people was pitching a juvenile fit when they were told no, instead of simply sucking it up and taking a pair of less desirable seats (or splitting up and sitting apart in the good seats, which was also an option - but one they didn’t want to take). You can ASK for a favor, but they person you are asking is not obligated to accommodate you. > [@](#): > > What the hell ever happened to making the _best_ of a situation, even if you think the other people are out of line, and thereby not ruining the event for everyone around you? Why don’t you ask the rude couple that? They had that option, after all. The theater was not sold out, and they were a couple, not Siamese twins - they COULD sit apart if necessary. > [@](#): > > We’ve stopped being _decent_ in this country. It’s obnoxious. Decent people don’t take for granted that they can impose on others, which is what the couple the OP was talking about most definitely did. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1072 "2013-01-22T01:45:23Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > Ah. I had misunderstood and thought the five rows in question were the five frontmost (I admit to not having read all twenty-two pages of this thread). Thanks for clearing that up. 🙂 Actually, the first 5 in the photo I posted. There is a gap at the very front of the theatre. Not the 5 in the middle. I know, being honest when it comes to going to the movies. What a novel concept, eh Shayna? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1073 "2013-01-22T01:45:58Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > In other words, miss mademoiselle has no idea why those people happened to be late; it may have been out of their control. But she’d rather assign rudeness to them than give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe instead of circumstances beyond their control, those people were late because _they were serving a societal need_ - helping little old ladies across the street, doing CPR on someone who coded in the lobby, donating money to Obama’s Second Inaugural Fund. Jeez, cut them a break already, get up and move. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1074 "2013-01-22T01:46:46Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > That particular situation honestly never came up. Our manager was pretty accomodating to any individual request, so I don’t know which particular idiosyncrasy he would have sided with. > > I admit I’m dubious of the details offered by the OP, however. > > Our box office would warn people when only x% of seats remained, noting they would probably have to sit in the less desirable seats down front. I say this with all due respect, but what year was this? I don’t think I’ve ever seen an usher in a theatre. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1075 "2013-01-22T01:50:39Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Maybe instead of circumstances beyond their control, those people were late because _they were serving a societal need_ - helping little old ladies across the street, doing CPR on someone who coded in the lobby, donating money to Obama’s Second Inaugural Fund. > > Jeez, cut them a break already, get up and move. Well, if they were saving orphans from a burning bus… But my cat mittens died, my Great Aunt Mabel had the mumps, my apartment burned done, and my car got broken into. I also was so exhausted from bottle feeding homeless kittens all day! And I just wanted to enjoy the movie, without the film being interrupted, and having someone ask me to give up my seat! It’s a two way street. They know nothing about me, either. And I doubt the type of people who cuss others out when they don’t get their way, and text throughout a movie were the types to serve some great societal need, then go see a movie. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1076 "2013-01-22T01:50:49Z")
1. Who tears tickets and sweeps up popcorn and discarded cups in the theaters you go to? ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1077 "2013-01-22T01:53:12Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > Indeed. Yes, indeed. You’re like a damn 2nd-grader. “It’s _mine,_ I called it and I got here _first_, so _there_.” Some of us let go of that behavior sometime after grade school. You’ve obviously suffered some sort of stunted mental growth. I should probably cut you some slack for that reason alone. > [@l1I235](#): > > Why don’t you start the revolution by calling me an asshole again? Or Mean Old Lady could, by calling anyone who disagrees with her a dickhead. Revolution? Must you blow \*everything \*way the hell out of proportion? Man, you’re a real piece of work. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1078 "2013-01-22T01:55:46Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > 1. > > Who tears tickets and sweeps up popcorn and discarded cups in the theaters you go to? I see ushers in the multiplex, but never in the theatre itself when a film is playing. I was pretty young in 1989, so who knows…maybe it was different then, and I don’t remember. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1079 "2013-01-22T01:57:33Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > Yes, indeed. You’re like a damn 2nd-grader. “It’s _mine,_ I called it and I got here _first_, so _there_.” > > Some of us let go of that behavior sometime after grade school. You’ve obviously suffered some sort of stunted mental growth. I should probably cut you some slack for that reason alone. Revolution? Must you blow \*everything \*way the hell out of proportion? Man, you’re a real piece of work. Can’t take a joke, eh? What a surprise. No, I did not literally mean for you to start a revolution. :rolleyes: it was a hyperbolic reposne to your OTT posts. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1080 "2013-01-22T01:58:15Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > before this thread ends, let’s get something important settled: > > Shayna, how do you make the little heart? it’s not \<3 like it is on FB ❤ I copied and pasted it, becuse I’m an internet thief with no morals. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431.md?page=53) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431.md?page=55)