# I'm not giving up my seat **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 16, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431 "2013-01-16T22:34:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 55
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1081 "2013-01-22T01:58:32Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > Actually, the first 5 in the photo I posted. There is a gap at the very front of the theatre. Not the 5 in the middle. > > I know, being honest when it comes to going to the movies. What a novel concept, eh Shayna? Wait you lied to me? You said the five were above the gap. 😕:dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1082 "2013-01-22T02:02:25Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > I see ushers in the multiplex, but never in the theatre itself when a film is playing. I was pretty young in 1989, so who knows…maybe it was different then, and I don’t remember. 😕 Why would it be any different now? We weren’t like stadium ushers or anything. It worked the same then as now. Take tickets. Keep order. Clean up detritus. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1083 "2013-01-22T02:02:37Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > Wait you lied to me? You said the five were above the gap. 😕:dubious: Gap 1 5 rows\* Gap 2 20 or so rows \*the rows in question I did not lie to you anonymous user, I think you just misunderstood. BTW, if I was going to lie, why would I have written the previous post? I will dig up the post in question. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1084 "2013-01-22T02:04:10Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > 😕 Why would it be any different now? We weren’t like stadium ushers or anything. It worked the same then as now. Take tickets. Keep order. Clean up detritus. I have never seen ushers in a theater where a film was in progress, directing seating. Maybe this is a regional thing. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1085 "2013-01-22T02:08:56Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > Why do people think if they said in the 5th row, they would be at a 90 degree angle to the screen? There was a huge gap in front of the first row, forget the 5th. > > This is an image of a theatre in the same multiplex. > > [cinema | subway philosophy](http://subwayphilosophy.wordpress.com/2008/11/18/cinema/cinema/) > > My theatre was slightly larger, but with the same sized screen from what I can tell. In my theatre, the 4th and 5th rows were not partial, but full length rows. > [@l1I235](#): > > There was about the same gap at the very front. The rows in question were the 5 behind that gap. I can see how that can be a little confusing. For the record, > [@](#): > > Gap 1 > > 5 rows\* > > Gap 2 > > 20 or so rows > > \*the rows in question ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1086 "2013-01-22T02:11:11Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > Gap 1 > > 5 rows\* > > Gap 2 > > 20 or so rows > > \*the rows in question > > I did not lie to you anonymous user, I think you just misunderstood. > > BTW, if I was going to lie, why would I have written the previous post? I will dig up the post in question. Okay. But I am sorry, but I will have to go back to my old position on this issue, which is that I think you should have moved. But obviously I won’t be an ass about it like I was at first. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1087 "2013-01-22T02:11:42Z")
> [@Anonymous User](#): > > Okay. But I am sorry, but I will have to go back to my old position on this issue, which is that I think you should have moved. But obviously I won’t be an ass about it like I was at first. Fair enough. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1088 "2013-01-22T02:13:46Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > I have never seen ushers in a theater where a film was in progress, directing seating. > > Maybe this is a regional thing. No, it’s more of a “most of the time people work this out without being obstinate assholes on their own” kind of thing. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1089 "2013-01-22T02:15:23Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > I can see how that can be a little confusing. > > For the record, The picture you showed had only three rows on the floor. I remain dubious about the details the OP has provided. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1090 "2013-01-22T02:15:51Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > No, it’s more of a “most of the time people work this out without being obstinate assholes on their own” kind of thing. Well, if you say it, it must be the ultimate truth. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1091 "2013-01-22T02:17:56Z")
Okay **Shayna** you’re off some meds today. Fine. You think our op was lying about why she did not move and think that those of us (and yes I am among them) who think that getting up and shuffling around in front and around other people trying to watch a movie is annoying to other people trying to enjoy the movie are idiots. Fine. You don’t see getting up and moving around and blocking other peoples views to be a problem since it happens for bathroom breaks and to get more popcorn. We’ll just have to disagree but do appreciate that some of us are telling you that if we were the others in that row and behind it, we’d be pissed if there was a bunch of conversation about how about you move here and I’ll move here and getting up and climbing over going on. Yeah, I am that sort of idiot. That said, play the hypothetical with me. If you _were_ being asked to move to a seat behind a football lineman that you could not see around all that well, to make room for a couple who came after the movie started and who could just as easily sit together in other, albeit not as ideal, seats closer to the front, would you still just scootch over, no problem? Can you at least understand why someone might not want to? Or feel the need to explain their decision to politely say no? Now maybe you would move , self-sacrificing nice person that you are. And maybe I would, real life wimp that I am. But I would not feel bad about saying no. I would not feel the need to explain. And I would NOT disrupt other people trying to watch the movie in a circus of figuring out who sits where and explaining why. About this we even already had a Mr Manners cite! See post 865 > [@](#): > > Once the lights dim, finding a seat can be difficult. Patrons who arrive five or ten minutes late create a disruption. Walking up and down the aisles, and constantly inquiring about seat availability is annoying to person’s who arrived on time. Late arrivals should not be choosey about seats. Rather, take the first available seat, which is usually toward the front of the theater. This is just commonsense. Again **Hentor** as an usher did you consider five rows of the theater empty as the theater being full and make people who got there on time get up and shift around to make room in the better rows for someone who came late? I’ve never been warned about the showing being almost sold out. Only that no more tickets were available or your home equity credit line please. And ushers directing seating? Never seen it in a movie theater either. Those first five rows are for sitting in too. Not the best seats in the house, maybe, but yeah, you’re coming to a popular new release after the movie started? Tough shit. Be grateful you are seeing it at all. No **Jackmannii** it does not matter what good reason they have for being late. Pulled someone off the subway tracks, rescued Superman from Lex Luthor latest ploy, and then foiled an Al Qaeda bomb plot, all on the way. The movie’s started? Sit your sorry ass down without bothering anyone else, hero. As a hero you know it’s the polite thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1092 "2013-01-22T02:20:27Z")
It boggles the mind how some pretty normal seeming people cannot take “no” for an answer. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1093 "2013-01-22T02:20:50Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > The picture you showed had only three rows on the floor. > > I remain dubious about the details the OP has provided. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Go back and READ, and then comment. > [@l1I235](#): > > Why do people think if they said in the 5th row, they would be at a 90 degree angle to the screen? There was a huge gap in front of the first row, forget the 5th. > > This is an image of a theatre in the same multiplex. Not “the exact same theater”. No, a theater in the same multiplex. > [@](#): > > [cinema | subway philosophy](http://subwayphilosophy.wordpress.com/2008/11/18/cinema/cinema/) > > My theatre was slightly larger, but with the same sized screen from what I can tell. In my theatre, the 4th and 5th rows were not partial, but full length rows. MK, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1094 "2013-01-22T02:24:29Z")
Ah, the ultimate cite, Miss Manners. Thanks again,\*\* DSeid.\*\* > [@](#): > > Once the lights dim, finding a seat can be difficult. Patrons who arrive five or ten minutes late create a disruption. Walking up and down the aisles, and constantly inquiring about seat availability is annoying to person’s who arrived on time. Late arrivals should not be choosey about seats. Rather, take the first available seat, which is usually toward the front of the theater. Miss Manners, that un-socialized dickhead asshole dog. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1095 "2013-01-22T02:29:36Z")
You seem very irritable and touchy, \*\*mademoiselle \*\*. It is not my fault you’ve been inconsistent and unclear. DSeid, I’ve aready said that it never came up, and that I don’t know how our manager would have resolved it. He was a real pussy. I was super pissed when he had me manage the lines for Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, but wouldn’t do anything about people who refused to wait in line or do as I asked them to. I’ve also said that we rarely had to resolve seating issues, since people settled them on their own. We did have little flashlights though, and on rare occasions did have to make people consolidate to get rid of buffer zones. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1096 "2013-01-22T02:39:44Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > before this thread ends, let’s get something important settled: > > Shayna, how do you make the little heart? it’s not \<3 like it is on FB I have [this page](http://fsymbols.com/all/) bookmarked and use it to copy/paste into any web page. Note the 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 below the first grouping of images - these are more pages where there are a bunch more images. ✿ > [@DSeid](#): > > Okay **Shayna** you’re off some meds today. Fine. > > You think our op was lying about why she did not move and think that those of us (and yes I am among them) who think that getting up and shuffling around in front and around other people trying to watch a movie is annoying to other people trying to enjoy the movie are idiots. Fine. You don’t see getting up and moving around and blocking other peoples views to be a problem since it happens for bathroom breaks and to get more popcorn. We’ll just have to disagree but do appreciate that some of us are telling you that if we were the others in that row and behind it, we’d be pissed if there was a bunch of conversation about how about you move here and I’ll move here and getting up and climbing over going on. Yeah, I am that sort of idiot. > > That said, play the hypothetical with me. If you _were_ being asked to move to a seat behind a football lineman that you could not see around all that well, to make room for a couple who came after the movie started and who could just as easily sit together in other, albeit not as ideal, seats closer to the front, would you still just scootch over, no problem? > > Can you at least understand why someone might not want to? Or feel the need to explain their decision to politely say no? > > Now maybe you would move , self-sacrificing nice person that you are. And maybe I would, real life wimp that I am. But I would not feel bad about saying no. I would not feel the need to explain. And I would NOT disrupt other people trying to watch the movie in a circus of figuring out who sits where and explaining why. I would have whispered, “I can’t see around the linebacker, but you’re welcome to take that seat or I can move the other direction.” ETA: There are all kinds of ways mademoiselle could have handled this with grace and kindness. Merely saying “NO” comes off as extremely rude when the request is so _commonplace_ with theater-goers. I’ve never said that standing there and creating a further scene wasn’t just as rude. But mademoiselle had an opportunity to do the right thing, _even if she believed the people in question did a wrong thing by showing up late_, and chose the wrong thing herself, compounding the problem. The notion that a person moving briefly in front of you while they take a seat is that big of an inconvenience is astounding to me. And the reason I don’t buy the OP’s nonsense is that if she were telling the truth about the cold and the cougher, that’s all she would have said about the situation. But she went on and on about how “she got there first,” which I find extremely childish. You’re a pediatrician, you should recognize that behavior. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1097 "2013-01-22T02:40:17Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > You seem very irritable and touchy, \*\*mademoiselle \*\*. It is not my fault you’ve been inconsistent and unclear. How was I inconsistent and unclear? Anything to back that up? Because I backed up what I had to say. You did not read it properly, just admit it. Take responsibility. I know, what a crazy concept. Geez. Did you by any chance go to the movies last week in New York? ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1098 "2013-01-22T02:43:46Z")
> [@Shayna](#): > > And the reason I don’t buy the OP’s nonsense is that if she were telling the truth about the cold and the cougher, that’s all she would have said about the situation. But she went on and on about how “she got there first,” which I find extremely childish. You’re a pediatrician, you should recognize that behavior. 😛 Pardon me for not wanting to embarrass a stranger for no reason. Next time, I will go to the manager though, and they will surely, under your logic, remove sick girl from the theater. I mentioned 3 reasons in the OP. I get it, patience and reading comprehension are not your strongholds. Now excuse me, I need to get back being a republican. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1099 "2013-01-22T02:45:50Z")
No it wasn’t Miss Manners. It was just an etiquette site (on a list that RaftPeople using to support the case that people should scootch when the theater is full … and then claiming that first 5 rows empty is full). I used “Mr. Mannners” in a generic sense. Okay Hentor. Then your comment\* about making people move after the movie started was a bit of a non sequitur, wasn’t it? Other than evidence that NO you NEVER asked people to move to make room for people in better rows when there were other rows empty up front. The concept that an usher would is _absurd_. “For the record” 5 rows out of 25 total is 20% of the room’s capacity. In that picture honestly row 4 looks preferable to sitting in the back. Neither are the best seats. Oh well. \*“We certainly did make people move around if the theater was full. We did this even if the movie had started.” but “it never came up” -Hentor … and you are dubious of _her_? ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2013, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/1100 "2013-01-22T02:47:54Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > No it wasn’t Miss Manners. It was just an etiquette site (on a list that RaftPeople using to support the case that people should scootch when the theater is full … and then claiming that first 5 rows empty is full). I used “Mr. Mannners” in a generic sense. Ah, sorry for the confusion. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431.md?page=54) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431.md?page=56)