# I'm not giving up my seat **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 16, 2013, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431 "2013-01-16T22:34:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/141 "2013-01-17T02:39:15Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Were they the shitty first 5 rows in the theater? Because most people find sitting that close uncomfortible. No. I have already stated that I have sat in the row in question, and it is comfortable. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/142 "2013-01-17T02:40:49Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > Yes, the weather has been awful for the last 24 hours. But last night, my plans to have sex with supermodels on the top floor of the Conde Nast building were thwarted by the subway incident at 125th street. I was annoyed at the sheer entitlement of it all so I pissed on a homeless person on my way home. Haha about the models. I read about that subway incident. It teeters between bizarre and horrible. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/143 "2013-01-17T02:41:12Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Life hands you precious few chances to do a nice thing for others. Most ways of improving lives require significant investments of time, money, and relationship building. But now and then, you are just handed something in your lap, with nearly no effort on your part, to make the world a slightly better place. > > I’d venture that the people who see that as an opportunity live happier lives than those who see it as an infringement. Girl, I feel covered in a viscous layer of glurge, but I could not agree with you more here. Sometimes, to do something nice for someone else will put me out a great deal. And, of course, I often still do it. And sometimes, my pride or my principles prevent me from doing something nice when I know I should. So whenever I get the opportunity to do something nice that costs me little to no effort, I try to jump all over that. Over compensate for the times when I’m just a giant non-contributing suck on society. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/144 "2013-01-17T02:42:24Z")
Bullshit. **Nzinga** never gives up her seat. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/145 "2013-01-17T02:43:02Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Not to mention, if the offending party were late for the start by 5 minutes, how late would that make them from the advertised start time? Don’t those accommodate the previews and such. Good point. And there were tons of previews. ---
**Author:** ![MacCat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maccat/32/216_2.png) [@MacCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacCat)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/146 "2013-01-17T02:45:58Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > In the subway station afterwards, a man kept demanding I buy him peanuts. I again said “Sorry, I can’t”. He became annoyed, and would not give up. I told him I don’t carry cash (which is true). Finally, we walked far enough away that he gave up. _That was you?_ Oh, no – I was there Saturday. When we four, wife, granddaughter and a friend got on the train home, there were only 3 seats together and I was fine to stand. When I turned around, a single got up from his seat across from his family to join them, freeing up the perfect two facing two for us. Very nice. Many of us NYers are. I _would_ move over a seat. And they should not have made a fuss when their request was denied other than some head shaking, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/147 "2013-01-17T02:48:26Z")
> [@MacCat](#): > > _That was you?_ > > Oh, no – I was there Saturday. When we four, wife, granddaughter and a friend got on the train home, there were only 3 seats together and I was fine to stand. When I turned around, a single got up from his seat across from his family to join them, freeing up the perfect two facing two for us. Very nice. Many of us NYers are. > > I _would_ move over a seat. And they should not have made a fuss when their request was denied other than some head shaking, IMO. I am little confused by this, but I am guessing it is the dyslexia. I have move on the subway, many times, usually without being asked. I have never asked someone to move. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/148 "2013-01-17T02:50:25Z")
I can’t believe that theatres there don’t have assigned seating. I haven’t been to a theatre without assigned seating in more than a decade. Seems kinda backwards to me in this day and age. Most of the time here, you choose you seats when buying tickets. That said, In a free seating situation, the OP absolutely should have moved over, and it was rude not to. Even in an assigned seating situation, I personally would also have moved over. ---
**Author:** ![staili](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c57346/32.png) [@staili](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/staili)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/149 "2013-01-17T02:56:23Z")
If I were the new couple, I probably would just have taken the two empty “buffer” seats. I’ve never really felt that it was all that important to sit together at the movies. You’re not supposed to be talking to each other anyway. (There are of course some circumstances where sitting together is better, but for the average mindless action movie, what difference does it make?) ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/150 "2013-01-17T03:00:11Z")
> [@staili](#): > > If I were the new couple, I probably would just have taken the two empty “buffer” seats. I’ve never really felt that it was all that important to sit together at the movies. You’re not supposed to be talking to each other anyway. > > (There are of course some circumstances where sitting together is better, but for the average mindless action movie, what difference does it make?) Well, I do this thing where I order a large bucket of popcorn and cut a little hole in the bottom. Trust me, it’s really better for everyone if I sit next to my wife. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/151 "2013-01-17T03:14:14Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > My feelings are not mixed. I am curious by nature, however, and I was curious how others would of dealt with the situation. Your posts are doing you damage. You started out asking who was in the wrong. You are now “revising”, and by doing so you strengthen my feeling (shared by others) that you shaped - and are shaping - what you tell us about the incident to try to rationalise your actions. > [@wolfman](#): > > Wow, there must not be a lot of people with wide shoulders in this thread. Sitting between two people is a serious discomfort. If the OP had wide enough shoulders to provide her with an excuse for not moving, we would have heard that excuse by now. Don’t you think? > [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Girl, I feel covered in a viscous layer of glurge, but I could not agree with you more here. Sometimes, to do something nice for someone else will put me out a great deal. And, of course, I often still do it. And sometimes, my pride or my principles prevent me from doing something nice when I know I should. So whenever I get the opportunity to do something nice that costs me little to no effort, I try to jump all over that. Over compensate for the times when I’m just a giant non-contributing suck on society. Indeed. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/152 "2013-01-17T03:14:49Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Is it really necessary to impugn her character too simply because she made a different social faux pas than you would have? Necessary? This entire forum is unnecessary. But, the “sorry that you think” thing is something that annoys me. I find it as annoying as the OP found the request to move annoying. Thus my motivation to post. ---
**Author:** ![brickbacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@brickbacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brickbacon)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/153 "2013-01-17T03:17:55Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Life hands you precious few chances to do a nice thing for others. Most ways of improving lives require significant investments of time, money, and relationship building. But now and then, you are just handed something in your lap, with nearly no effort on your part, to make the world a slightly better place. > > I’d venture that the people who see that as an opportunity live happier lives than those who see it as an infringement. Very well said, but honestly, I would be a little harder on the OP than that. She was just being an asshole because she could. But she knew that, hence the OP. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/154 "2013-01-17T03:21:53Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Your posts are doing you damage. You started out asking who was in the wrong. You are now “revising”, and by doing so you strengthen my feeling (shared by others) that you shaped - and are shaping - what you tell us about the incident to try to rationalise your actions. No, I said: > [@](#): > > So, who do you think was in the wrong? I did not say “was I wrong?” I don’t think I was wrong, so I did not ask that. I have not changed from my OP. In fact, I have reposted parts of my OP several times (like right now), to reiterate my points. > [@](#): > > If the OP had wide enough shoulders to provide her with an excuse for not moving, we would have heard that excuse by now. Don’t you think? I am actually tall with a large frame (and wide shoulders! gasp!), but that is moot, and has nothing to do with this. They are not so wide to affect me in this particular incident. That said, I appreciate wolfman’s comments. ---
**Author:** ![FordTaurusSHO94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f07891/32.png) [@FordTaurusSHO94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordTaurusSHO94)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/155 "2013-01-17T03:24:43Z")
How many seats are in a row, 20? So there’s 100 empty seats at the front of the theater and probably more scattered around the behind. It was rude of them to ask in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/156 "2013-01-17T03:30:44Z")
Yes, you were asking our opinions as to who we thought was in the wrong. If you were completely certain, why would you even ask? If someone punched you in the face for no reason would you start a thread asking who was in the wrong? No. You know that your actions were questionable. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/157 "2013-01-17T03:39:00Z")
> [@FordTaurusSHO94](#): > > How many seats are in a row, 20? So there’s 100 empty seats at the front of the theater and probably more scattered around the behind. It was rude of them to ask in the first place. Yes, not to mention that rewarding rude people encourages them to be continue to be rude. ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/158 "2013-01-17T03:40:10Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Yes, you were asking our opinions as to who we thought was in the wrong. If you were completely certain, why would you even ask? If someone punched you in the face for no reason would you start a thread asking who was in the wrong? No. You know that your actions were questionable. For the sake of conversation, that’s why. Do you not have any curiosity in you at all? Next time, I will state in my OP. “I stand by what I did, and I still believe it to be right”. Just to make sure everything is crystal clear. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![l1I235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@l1I235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/l1I235)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/159 "2013-01-17T03:41:16Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > Yes, not to mention that rewarding rude people encourages them to be continue to be rude. THIS. I am not going to reward the douchebaggery of the world. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2013, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431/160 "2013-01-17T03:43:29Z")
> [@l1I235](#): > > For the sake of conversation. Do you not have any curiosity in you at all? Sure. I regularly start threads like “Jews, Hitler and the Holocaust - who was in the wrong there?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-giving-up-my-seat/647431.md?page=9)