# I'm not going to let old people get away with their horse shit anymore. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 31, 2013, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904 "2013-01-31T11:27:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![stegon66](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@stegon66](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stegon66)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/101 "2013-01-31T19:52:50Z")
> [@](#): > > Screw fiber, eat bacon. To clarify: it’s CRISPY bacon. God fucking forbid you serve an old person any bacon that’s less than burnt. I’ve cooked enough breakfasts to know that. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/102 "2013-01-31T19:52:53Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > If you think the escalators [in](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Rosslyn_Escalators_(full).jpg) [my](http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Metro_escalators,_Dupont_Circle.jpg) [area](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Wheaton_escalator_from_bottom_right.jpg) will take you up in 30 seconds, you’ve got another thing coming. I don’t care if people choose to stand, but instead of standing in the middle of the fucking thing, they should at least stand to the side to let people pass them. I don’t understand why this isn’t common knowledge yet but how to properly feltch a goat is. When I ride alone I always stand off to the left and when I ride with others I stand to the left, one friend stands to the right and the third stands in the middle. Leaving plenty of room behind us for other people. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/103 "2013-01-31T20:05:06Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > If you think the escalators [in](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Rosslyn_Escalators_(full).jpg) [my](http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Metro_escalators,_Dupont_Circle.jpg) [area](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Wheaton_escalator_from_bottom_right.jpg) will take you up in 30 seconds, you’ve got another thing coming. I don’t care if people choose to stand, but instead of standing in the middle of the fucking thing, they should at least stand to the side to let people pass them. I must now offer an apology, in a Pit thread even. I had no idea that such hell holes existed. I will now go outside and look at the millions of trees I am surrounded by, view my neighbors through binoculars, and thank my lucky stars that I do not have to compete for apparently empty escalator space wherever you are. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/104 "2013-01-31T21:05:14Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I’m 65. I’ll put my internet skills, my driving skills and my reasoning ability up against yours any fucking day of the week. I don’t know why it is that race baiting, saying “fuck you”, gay bashing, etc. is off-limits on this board, but people are free to denigrate people for managing to stay alive. You, and all the rest of you, can fucking blow me. Mm-hmm, Chefguy. I told them. I told them they were gonna get us all in trouble. Up in here, pittin’ old folks. Can you believe that shit? Where is the fucking _respect_?? Did you see some of the stuff Anaamika said? And MsWhatsit? I told them the old grumpy grampas would be here soon. You want me to go get your belt? Or cut you a switch? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/105 "2013-01-31T21:08:55Z")
Don’t coddle him. If you do that, he might follow you home and then where will you be? ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/106 "2013-01-31T21:14:22Z")
Well, this kind of bums me out. I’m getting to the age where I have to put up with mysterious aches and pains all the goddamned time. I’m pretty sure that in another decade or two, things are going to have gone pretty far downhill. You telling me I don’t even get to compensate by being cantankerous and irritatingly eccentric? Because if so, I’ve wasted a lot of time practicing. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/107 "2013-01-31T21:17:35Z")
> [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > But…WHO THE FUCK has to write a check in the super market checkout line? And record it in your check register while standing there?!? I have no problems with people writing checks. It’s when the entire process involves transcribing _War and Peace_ onto the check that I start to get a little murdery. No one fucking cares how neat it looks or how much is written on it. Write the name of the store, the amount, the date and sign the fucking thing. This should take no longer than about 15 seconds at the very most. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/108 "2013-01-31T21:18:57Z")
And if there’s a line, well you know what store you’re in and what your name is. Checks can be written before the moment the cashier reveals the total. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/109 "2013-01-31T21:37:49Z")
Okay, so I wrote this thread at 4 am mainly to make myself laugh. I say a lot of assholish things to crack myself up. My dad’s 91 (longevity in my genes, woot!), but I was just saying how I’m kind of annoyed with myself for not generally shutting all their bullshit down the way I would anyone else. And now I’m going to quote a lot of people. Prepare for the wall of text! > [@JumpSmashJack](#): > > You could of tactfully shut the old guy down with an “I’m busy with (whatever)” and ignored him…why get angry and end up walking a long distance ??..jeez I’d like to see you handle some of my problems Well it was only a few blocks, but I dunno. I was afraid of seeming mean? I know, I know, I’m mean to people all the time, but he was little and old, so I just sat there like an idiot and got harassed. Gah! > [@USCDiver](#): > > She wasn’t trying to cajole the cashier, she was cajoling _you_, sucker! Ah, I’ve been had again! :smack: > [@MsWhatsit](#): > > It’s the middle of the day, I’m driving somewhere, and some asshole in traffic is going 20 under the speed limit, drifting across the center line, driving with his turn signal on for 5 miles, or pulling some other bullshit traffic maneuver that shows a blithe ignorance that there are other cars sharing the road with him. > > It is almost always: > > 1. Someone talking on a cell phone or texting, or > 2. An old. Get out of my brain! I was just saying last night that whenever I see someone driving too damn slow it is, unfailingly, someone on a cell phone, in which case I throw rocks at them because I hate them, or an old person, so I let it go. > [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Ok. When I’m in line behind an old black woman at the gas station and she is ordering lotto tickets with numbers in every variation known to math and “box that for me baby, but run those straight” and I only have one little thing in my hand to pay for, I sometimes secretly wish she would slip and break a damn hip. > > I feel like shit now. ONE OF US! > [@digs](#): > > Now, I do think we should make allowances for things that are beyond their control. They’re slower mentally, can’t dunk a layup like back when they played pickup with Jordan at Cabrini Green back in the day I think it was a Wednes… oh, and they’ll get off-topic on long stories you’ve heard before. Right, right, fair enough. Age happens to the best of us, but stop trying to whine your way into free shit a the dollar store. If some 19 year old kid did it, you know everyone would be like “This punk…” > [@shiftless](#): > > I am NOT onboard with the OP. In not too many years I’m going to be over 60 and I’ve been waiting a long time for my turn. I’ve been watching the old farts get away with everything from pinching girls to driving in the wrong lane for far too long. Everybody just shakes their head, says “oh grandpa” and let’s it go. I WANT MINE and I’m almost old enough. > > I’m going to fart in public and not try to cover it. I’m going to call women “little missy” and stare openly at their breasts (at last!) I’ll shake my cane at the youngins and lecture you all about what’s wrong with the world (Kids at what’s wrong, I tell ya). > > Don’t let Meanoldlady take that away from me. 🙂 > [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Which brings me back to pitting old black women in particular. Why are they so MEEEAAANNNN??? Whaaaaah? I thought the only old black lady who was mean was my mama. Whenever I pass old black ladies on the street, they smile at me and say “How you doin?” Old black ladies can say “How you doin” to me or ask me to smile, and it’s all right. When anyone else does it, I want them to die. > [@Kimstu](#): > > (And let’s hear three cheers for my own wise mama, who at 86 years old not only keeps to the right and doesn’t hold up lines while digging through her change purse and doesn’t make personal remarks about young people’s figures, but voluntarily decided ten years ago that her driving skills were failing so she sold her car and house and moved to an apartment in a city with decent public transit. But we should not expect every old person to have the smarts and the courage to make such drastic adjustments just in order to protect others from their age-impaired driving.) Hip hip hooray! But you’re wrong about the escalators. Move or be killed! > [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > Once this thread is played out, can we go to not taking shit from young children and the the inconsiderate parents that allow them to run around screaming their bloodly little heads off and climbing under my table at a restaurant? > > Actually, I just hate 98% of all people, including everyone who thinks that either Fox News or MSNBC provides anything useful in terms of news. > > Stranger Listen, I like you, so don’t make me come over there and smack you. Everybody knows that all kids everywhere should shut the hell up. And I will be dead and buried before I put up with some kid’s crap. Which is, of course, why I put up with old people’s crap. Because when I’m old, if some kid tried to give me any of their lip, I would put that little shit in the ground. Just sayin, come on, guys. Do a sista a solid. Stop whining about not having enough change in your fucking COIN PURSE because you know you can get away with it. > [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > And MOL, you should be pitted yourself for allowing the old creep to get away with that shit without harsh consequences. Your tacit approval gave him license to grope \*me \*if I bump into him at a bus stop. You should be euthanized at 50 just for that. I’m sorry. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/110 "2013-01-31T21:43:48Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > . . . little old lady who is paying for her item via coin purse (REALLY?!) . . . What’s wrong with coin purses? > [@](#): > > . . . I was gonna put this in MPSIMS, but placed it here so y’all can call me names. You’re a drip. ---
**Author:** ![BigAppleBucky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigapplebucky/32/178_2.png) [@BigAppleBucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigAppleBucky)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/111 "2013-01-31T22:08:22Z")
Well, I’m an old fart. Can’t be helped. I’ll get my Medicare Card within the next month. I’m not about to volunteer to have my life reviewed by a death panel. I pay cash for anything less than about a $100. I want to shoot the idiots in front of me who pay for a $2 coffee with a credit card. And it’s not a bling, they’ve to sign for the damned charge. I drive at or just over the speed limit. If you youngsters in your SUV yuppymobiles would drive at about the same speed there would be fewer pedestrians and animals hit and killed. If you run yourself off the road and hit a tree, I feel sorry for the tree, not you. I do feel sorry for me every time someone runs off the road and hits a power pole knocking out my electricity. (Happens three or four times a year) Oh, and by the way, turn off your damned brights when approaching oncoming cars at night - it’s the law. I do walk up escalators. I also walk up the 80 stairs at the 34th street exit to Penn Station passing latte drinking yupsters standing on the escalators all the way. I hold doors open for others, even when I’m in a hurry. And, unlike so many oh so very important people, I clean up my dogs’ poop wherever they leave it. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/112 "2013-01-31T22:10:59Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > Almost every day I have an opportunity to feel, in a strong and certain way, that everyone who chooses to drive a Buick should have their licenses revoked. Fuck that sideways. You’ll have to pry the keys to my LeSabre out of my cold, dead, but nowhere near old hands. I happen to \*like \*the ultrasmooth ride on my still-young ass, the automatic leveling system, the quality stereo sound, the heated seats, the adequate room for my long legs, and the pretty good mileage and acceleration. In fact, my father bought one based on \*my \*recommendation. So should I suffer leg cramps, hemorrhoids, and crappy sound just because of what \*you \*think of my sense of _style_? To repeat, fuck that sideways. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/113 "2013-01-31T22:14:43Z")
Aww, Bucks, you and most folks seem like a good apples to me. This OP really isn’t a “Why I Hate Old People” declaration. I pretty much just wanted to make myself laugh, and was just whining about annoyances I have endured silently SOLELY because the person was old, whereas anyone else would have gotten karate chopped. But I do pay for low cost items with a debit card often. Who carries cash anymore? Get with the times, old man! ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/114 "2013-01-31T22:30:10Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > You’re a drip. Yeah, and she’s mean too. (Ha! That’ll teach her to invite us to insult her.) ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/115 "2013-01-31T22:33:36Z")
be the first to “Lick” this post ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/116 "2013-01-31T22:44:55Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > Once this thread is played out, can we go to not taking shit from young children and the the inconsiderate parents that allow them to run around screaming their bloodly little heads off and climbing under my table at a restaurant? You sound old. ---
**Author:** ![Nuveena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a587f6/32.png) [@Nuveena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nuveena)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/117 "2013-01-31T22:53:07Z")
> [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > And if that fails, sniper towers, the snipers equipped with megaphones and rubber bullets. “The couple near _Target_, the woman in beige, pick it up please. This is your final warning.” > > Harsh. > > But fair. The Long Mall Walk by Richard Bachman ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/118 "2013-01-31T23:09:08Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > Almost every day I have an opportunity to feel, in a strong and certain way, that everyone who chooses to drive a Buick should have their licenses revoked. Why do you hate China? ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/119 "2013-01-31T23:09:57Z")
You ain’t lyin’ about those old black ladies. Not that all old black ladies are mean, but that of all the people I encounter at the library who are nasty evil bitches, old black ladies make up a suspicious percentage. (Followed by old white ladies.) And you’re right about the meanest ones being the churchiest. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2013, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904/120 "2013-01-31T23:14:32Z")
You could try wearing earbuds when you go shopping or use public transportation. It lightens my heart to block out the obnoxious music/advertisements in big-box stores. Once (when I was in a particularly foul don’t-fuck-with-me mood) I even popped them in when I didn’t have an mp3 player. Just put the pluggy end in my pocket. With earbuds on, nobody will bug you. You’ll also look super hip. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-going-to-let-old-people-get-away-with-their-horse-shit-anymore/648904.md?page=7)