# I'm not looking for Prince Charming, I'm looking for Prince... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 31, 2018, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800 "2018-10-31T20:07:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/1 "2018-10-31T20:07:15Z")
Cleans the House … Washes the Dishes … Changes Diapers … What should we really be looking for in a Prince? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/2 "2018-10-31T20:15:11Z")
Party Like It’s 1999 ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/3 "2018-10-31T20:15:12Z")
I know right? Screw Prince Charming, where are those forest animals that clean houses? Remember when women were looking for a man to, ‘look after them’? Now they’re just hoping for a man that can look after himself! Times are a changing, that’s for sure! ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/4 "2018-10-31T20:17:21Z")
A Prince should be willing & able to do everything I’m able to do here. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/5 "2018-10-31T20:18:26Z")
Well landed. Good connections at court. At least one solid castle( for prestige )and preferably a couple of comfortable manor houses spread around his estates so you can have seasonal homes. Impeccable blood line goes without saying of course. ---
**Author:** ![EscAlaMike](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/escalamike/32/4177_2.png) [@EscAlaMike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EscAlaMike)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/6 "2018-10-31T20:20:25Z")
I do all of those things routinely. But, I’m taken 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/7 "2018-10-31T20:29:22Z")
Neither of us really clean, we pay someone to do that. I do most of the cooking. No kids (which is why we can afford a cleaning service), so no diapers yet, but who ever is senile second is changing the other’s diaper. Married 20 years, it seems to work. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/8 "2018-10-31T20:42:10Z")
I give foot rubs on demand, also, I can cook. And do most of the cleaning (such as it is). Nope, married. ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/9 "2018-10-31T20:50:23Z")
1. Dump the expectations, especially get rid of the “minimum” and “basic” expectations. 2. Things need to be done; let them be done by the person who likes doing them, or who at least isn’t unhappy doing them. 3. Anything not automatically solved in part 2, consider doing together, or hiring someone, or whatever is appropriate. My wife and I divide things up in ways that would have looked very embarrassing in the 1950s, and that even today make people give us funny looks, but we’re happy and it gets done, so who cares? ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/10 "2018-10-31T21:30:00Z")
I’m clearly not the prince you’re looking for. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/11 "2018-10-31T21:37:18Z")
Any takers for Prince Sincere? ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/12 "2018-10-31T22:15:32Z")
I’ve done all 3 a bajillion times. Since my wife and I shared a job, which allowed me to be at home all day during much of the diaper changing years, I’ve probably done that 4 bajillion times. Autocorrect, stop changing bajillion to bazillion. If I had wanted to type bazillion I would have typed bazillion. ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/13 "2018-10-31T22:56:06Z")
You’re looking for Prince Housekeeper. If that’s all you want, you can hire one. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/14 "2018-10-31T22:59:12Z")
Combined, the Mrs. and I get it all done, or pay to get it done. Our skills tend to complement each other, and while we each CAN do most of the tasks around the home, we have our specialty areas where we each do the lion’s share of that particular task. My major tasks are generating the income, and this takes about 60-70 hours a week of focused time. Since I can generate it at a much much greater rate than she can, she’s relieved of that duty. In addition I maintain the hot tub. Those are the duties which are exclusively mine. She does the majority of laundry, managing the finances, and grocery/supplies shopping. She does greater than 95% of that stuff. The cleaning lady does most of the housecleaning. Everything else gets split based on what’s convenient/possible with our schedules. We’ve each logged countless hours taking care of necessary cooking, dishes, infant/child care, mowing, hauling garbage, etc. And we pay next to no attention to just how much time she vs. I am spending on the respective tasks. We find it equitable. Others, I’m sure, would not. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/15 "2018-10-31T23:06:45Z")
A whole lot of people cannot afford to hire someone do the work they don’t want to do. So not a solution for those folks. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/16 "2018-10-31T23:20:56Z")
> [@romansperson](#): > > A whole lot of people cannot afford to hire someone do the work they don’t want to do. So not a solution for those folks. Well, what’s the problem they’re trying to solve? If the princess is looking for a prince charming to act as a free maid service, well, I can’t say I have much sympathy. And I really should, because if I had a partner, I would expect _them_ to do all the cleaning they wanted done. Of course, in my opinion the last three words matter - I currently keep things as clean as _I_ require them, and that’s fine with me. I would never expect somebody else to keep things cleaner than that, or to do that cleaning for me. But if they have a higher standard of cleanliness, well, they’re certainly free to clean to their standard as much as they like (presuming it doesn’t include things like throwing out my stuff). Where I’m not on board is them deciding that I need to clean too, to _their_ standard. Similarly I don’t cook, and wouldn’t expect anybody to cook for me (though they’re welcome to invite me to the table) - and if they think they can _force_ me to learn to cook, there will be problems, starting with me accidentally burning the kitchen down. Am I unreasonable? I dunno. I generally assume that people will think I am, so I haven’t asked. ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/17 "2018-10-31T23:28:29Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Well, what’s the problem they’re trying to solve? > > If the princess is looking for a prince charming to act as a free maid service, well, I can’t say I have much sympathy. And I really should, because if I had a partner, I would expect _them_ to do all the cleaning they wanted done. > > Of course, in my opinion the last three words matter - I currently keep things as clean as _I_ require them, and that’s fine with me. I would never expect somebody else to keep things cleaner than that, or to do that cleaning for me. But if they have a higher standard of cleanliness, well, they’re certainly free to clean to their standard as much as they like (presuming it doesn’t include things like throwing out my stuff). > > Where I’m not on board is them deciding that I need to clean too, to _their_ standard. Similarly I don’t cook, and wouldn’t expect anybody to cook for me (though they’re welcome to invite me to the table) - and if they think they can _force_ me to learn to cook, there will be problems, starting with me accidentally burning the kitchen down. > > Am I unreasonable? I dunno. I generally assume that people will think I am, so I haven’t asked. You’re perfectly reasonable, and if you decide to live with someone, it will be someone who recognizes that and probably who agrees with it and shares that outlook. Your assumption that people will think you’re unreasonable, itself is the only unreasonable part of your post. SOME people will think you’re unreasonable. So, don’t live with them. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2018, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/18 "2018-10-31T23:31:06Z")
As I am the only one who cares I do the cleaning. As I am usually alone for meals I cook and clean up. As I am the only person who has pets I do the bulk of that work too. I am married. It doesn’t seem like it, I know. Mr.Wrekker retired 2 years ago and his hobbies keep him on the road a good bit of the time. So I am left alone. I could go but I have a problem with being out of my safe zone. So, home I stay. I make my own fun and clean up afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2018, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/19 "2018-11-01T01:30:36Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > As I am the only one who cares I do the cleaning. As I am usually alone for meals I cook and clean up. As I am the only person who has pets I do the bulk of that work too. I am married. It doesn’t seem like it, I know. Mr.Wrekker retired 2 years ago and his hobbies keep him on the road a good bit of the time. So I am left alone. I could go but I have a problem with being out of my safe zone. So, home I stay. I make my own fun and clean up afterwards. If it was the Mr’s choice, you’d have no pets? (I do get the impression that you’ve been married for more than a year or two… Correct me if I’m wrong…) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2018, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800/20 "2018-11-01T02:44:03Z")
He doesn’t have any interest in pets. He doesn’t mind them, just not for him. My 2 little dogs love him like a god. The cats give him a wide berth. He has a pack of hunting beagles, I think 15 or so. I haven’t counted them lately. They are not pets. ETA, yep been married awhile. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-looking-for-prince-charming-im-looking-for-prince/823800.md?page=2)