# I'm NOT PMSing... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 26, 1999, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992 "1999-10-26T20:36:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 1999, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/1 "1999-10-26T20:36:00Z")
I’m H-O-R-N-Y! _ **WARNING:** _ _ **TOPIC MAY BE CONSIDERED DISGUSTING** _ Any of you other women feel this way during your monthlies? My husband **does** indulge me, albeit reluctantly. No oral sex at this time - I don’t blame him! Any of you men (or women, for that matter) induldge your S.O. at this time of the month? * * * Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, dogs are from Pluto. - Anonymous ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 1999, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/2 "1999-10-26T20:43:00Z")
But isn’t your Aunt in town to visit right now? 🙂 * * * “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - _Humphrey Bogart_ ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 1999, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/3 "1999-10-26T20:56:00Z")
Uhh, I kinda think that’s the point, Unc. She’s saying that’s why she’s especially fiesty… ## To add a response that deals with the OP, I 've been in this situation. As I was unwilling to do the normal deed, we had to find alternate ways of satisying this itch. “I’m still here, asshole!”-Angus Bethune ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 1999, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/4 "1999-10-26T21:02:00Z")
Flyp, my post was a light-hearted poke at a response from this thread: [http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/001876.html](http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/001876.html) * * * “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - _Humphrey Bogart_ ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 1999, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/5 "1999-10-26T21:06:00Z")
Okay, I’m a bit slow; three posts to actually respond to the topic, sheeesh. Ummm…how to phrase this gently… Okay, I’ll wade in the red river anytime, just won’t drink from it. I’m outta here now. * * * “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - _Humphrey Bogart_ ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 1999, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/6 "1999-10-26T21:06:00Z")
Fair enough, Unc. If you’re Inaudible, and she’s Invisible, can I be Oblivious? I’m sure my participation in this thread should speak volumes for my references. * * * “I’m still here, asshole!”-Angus Bethune ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 1999, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/7 "1999-10-26T21:13:00Z")
Does the fact that both of you made me laugh help? You guys crack me up. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 1999, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/8 "1999-10-26T21:22:00Z")
I’m glad you enjoyed it Can’t. This has been some of my best work all day! * * * “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” - _Humphrey Bogart_ ---
**Author:** ![Imthecowgodmoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Imthecowgodmoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Imthecowgodmoo)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 1999, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/9 "1999-10-26T23:52:00Z")
I find it seems to be a bit more “mushy” than normal. But hey, for guys if its moist, just insert, thrust, repeat- even if it gets a little messy geez, I can’t believe I just said that! ## :::must go hide now::: “I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes (\_\_) `\/-------\ `| |-----| | …c.c…c.c… ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Devil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Dirty\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Devil)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 1999, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/10 "1999-10-26T23:55:00Z")
Did you know that the two biggesat law firms in San Francisco are nicknamed “PMS” and “MoFo” (Pillsbury Madison & Sutro and Morrison-Forrester)? I don’t know what that has to do with anything, really. Just thought it was funny. ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/11 "1999-10-27T01:13:00Z")
Yes, I get rather horny around that time, and so have many of my girlfriends. As a result, to borrow the biker terminology, I have earned my red wings many times over. It’s really not that bad, especially after the first couple of days, when there aren’t so many… how do I put this gently? Clumps. Eeugh. That puts a real dampener on the libido, let me tell you. Of all the times for euphemisms to fail me… * * * Modest? You bet I’m modest! I am the queen of modesty! ---
**Author:** ![heatherlee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d6d6ee/32.png) [@heatherlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heatherlee)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/12 "1999-10-27T01:41:00Z")
I wish my SO was around any time of the month all month, cause it doesnt matter WHEN it is Im always horney * * * Me?? an asshole?? You better believe it! Heather Lee [XheatherleeX@aol.com](mailto:XheatherleeX@aol.com) ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/13 "1999-10-27T02:47:00Z")
How do you make vampire tea? In answer to the OP, that’s why God gave us showers and towels. Unless it something like the elevator scene in _The Shining_, When the doors opened and the hall was flooded with blood, then I don’t have a problem with it. I don’t think I’d ever want to try the red wings thing. Even if I did. it would have to be with somebody who’d be willing to kiss me, afterwards. * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/14 "1999-10-27T03:17:00Z")
Gee guys, just tell her to put in a cork (tampon) and wash after the installation. And then wa-la, no mess and she’ll love ya for it. If you want to impress her, you can always grab the string with your teeth to remove the cork afterward. :o Hmm. I’ll sure be glad when the Lion gets home. :o 😉 * * * Ayesha - Lioness * * * You sound reasonable. Must be time to up my medication. ---
**Author:** ![Moonshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Moonshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonshine)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/15 "1999-10-27T08:53:00Z")
Clumps? Yuck. ---
**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/16 "1999-10-27T09:05:00Z")
OH BOY! Haven’t we done this before? Ride me till I’m out of breath but gee… go down on me? No thanks! That usually isn’t what I want anyway. I want hard, male flesh, driving against me until my clit screams… But hey, that’s just me. Best, Byz ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/17 "1999-10-27T16:04:00Z")
Whew… im sure glad to hear im normal… for a while i was thinking i was the only female horndog going. This prime thing is awesome… just underworked * * * We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/18 "1999-10-27T16:16:00Z")
While I admit to having less than full knowledge of the menses cycle, I think your period is the time when you’re least likely to get pregnant, right ladies? So I wonder why men (at least those who don’t want offspring) haven’t figured this out, and aren’t trying to jump bleeding women’s bones? Though, in fairness, perhaps they’ve all heard neuro’s comment on clumps? Good God, grrl, that’s about a mile over the bad taste horizon and accelerating. * * * “I’m still here, asshole!”-Angus Bethune ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/19 "1999-10-27T16:41:00Z")
I’d always heard that “red wings” was just having sex with someone while they were riding the cotton pony. One of my guy friends calls going down on a woman at that time “earning your red badge of courage.” ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 1999, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992/20 "1999-10-27T16:51:00Z")
“Sludge” in one thread, “clumps” in another. :::thud:::: All knowledge is _not_ good. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-pmsing/9992.md?page=2)