# I'm not the moron you're looking for. . .

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-the-moron-youre-looking-for/606450
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [December 16, 2011, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-the-moron-youre-looking-for/606450 "2011-12-16T21:04:11Z")
**Posts on this page:** 5
**Page:** 1

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### Author: ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2011, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-the-moron-youre-looking-for/606450/1 "2011-12-16T21:04:11Z")

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[Another nutjob in the news](http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2011/12/portland_police_arrest_man_aft_1.html), albeit a Jedi Master.

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### Author: ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2011, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-the-moron-youre-looking-for/606450/2 "2011-12-16T21:13:27Z")

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I love the fact that the article keeps repeating “light saber” as if the nut was swinging a _real_ weapon of that name. 😃

> [@](#):
>
> None of the victims of the light saber assault needed medical attention, Simpson said.

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### Author: ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2011, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-the-moron-youre-looking-for/606450/3 "2011-12-16T21:21:00Z")

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Why didn’t the idiot just force-choke his victims?

Jedi Knights. “One thought, one kill”.

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### Author: ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)
#### Post date: [December 16, 2011, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-the-moron-youre-looking-for/606450/4 "2011-12-16T21:51:01Z")

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> [@](#):
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> Officers tried to arrest the man, but he kept swinging the light saber at them, Simpson said. One tried to use his Taser on the suspect but the device didn’t work.

Dipshit: “Your weapons are useless against me!”  
Officers: “What the…that’s from _Prince Of Space_, not _Star Wars_! That’s it, authorizing use of lethal force”.

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### Author: ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)
#### Post date: [December 17, 2011, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-not-the-moron-youre-looking-for/606450/5 "2011-12-17T18:35:11Z")

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\*Somebody \*has spent too much time in his Mom’s basement watching vids. Santa’s not gonna be impressed with this one. Neither will Yoda.