# I'm officially old **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 26, 2017, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462 "2017-05-26T05:20:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![trapezoidal\_jellyfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6f9a4e/32.png) [@trapezoidal\_jellyfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trapezoidal_jellyfish)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/1 "2017-05-26T05:20:56Z")
I thought I was old the first time I learned a new piece of slang from some kids. Now it’s official. I just asked some youngsters in my building to lower the volume of their music. They’re on the first floor, I can hear them up on the fourth, and it’s 1:00 AM. I’m officially a grumpy old lady! Or, at least, a grumpy adult lady. Before anyone asks, I was nice about it, because they’re generally perfectly fine neighbors, and I think they just didn’t realize how loud it was. I don’t have a lawn, so I can’t yell at anyone to get off it. What other adulting milestones do I have to look forward to? ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/2 "2017-05-26T05:30:30Z")
When you’re sitting in the Doctor’s waiting room reading the tabloid magazines, and you have no idea who the current famous people are, or even the (then) current famous people from the last magazine in the stack dated 2010. When you start calculating the months until you can officially retire: Only 124 to go for me, yay. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/3 "2017-05-26T06:58:39Z")
> [@trapezoidal\_jellyfish](#): > > I thought I was old the first time I learned a new piece of slang from some kids. Now it’s official. I just asked some youngsters in my building to lower the volume of their music. They’re on the first floor, I can hear them up on the fourth, and it’s 1:00 AM. I’m officially a grumpy old lady! Or, at least, a grumpy adult lady. > > Before anyone asks, I was nice about it, because they’re generally perfectly fine neighbors, and I think they just didn’t realize how loud it was. > > I don’t have a lawn, so I can’t yell at anyone to get off it. What other adulting milestones do I have to look forward to? By the time you learn a new piece of slang, it’s already obsolete and the kids have come up with something new. "I used to be with It. Then they changed what It was. Now, what I’m with isn’t It, and what’s It seems weird and scary to me. And it’ll happen to YOU!" - Abraham Simpson ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/4 "2017-05-26T08:18:48Z")
One is officially old when one starts saying things like “I remember when libraries were quiet” or “I remember when this cost only…” ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/5 "2017-05-26T08:19:15Z")
OP: if you were actually old then you probably would be too hard of hearing to hear the music. Fourth floor? Naturally you walk up and down the steps several times a day… ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/6 "2017-05-26T08:30:33Z")
You’re old when the sun goes down and you say ‘GOOD, I can go to bed now’. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![trapezoidal\_jellyfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6f9a4e/32.png) [@trapezoidal\_jellyfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trapezoidal_jellyfish)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/7 "2017-05-26T08:43:43Z")
> [@PastTense](#): > > Fourth floor? Naturally you walk up and down the steps several times a day… Is that a whoosh? I usually take the elevator. (Although that’s because I’m lazy, not because I physically can’t go up the stairs.) ---
**Author:** ![steatopygia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steatopygia/32/3132_2.png) [@steatopygia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steatopygia)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/8 "2017-05-26T09:02:45Z")
More spooning. Less forking. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/9 "2017-05-26T09:15:14Z")
I’m 38 and still in pretty good shape; I can bench press [pissing contest score not found] So why has standing up from a seated position got more difficult, to the point where I’ll sometimes vocalize the strain? ---
**Author:** ![steatopygia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steatopygia/32/3132_2.png) [@steatopygia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steatopygia)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/10 "2017-05-26T09:16:02Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > When you’re sitting in the Doctor’s waiting room reading the tabloid magazines, and you have no idea who the current famous people are, or even the (then) current famous people from the last magazine in the stack dated 2010. > > When you start calculating the months until you can officially retire: Only 124 to go for me, yay. > > 😃 Do not touch the magazines in a doctor’s office and especially don’t touch ANYTHING in the ER lobby. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/11 "2017-05-26T11:18:17Z")
It started for me when I realized that I was old enough to the be the mother of at least half of my coworkers. Now, in my post-retirment part-time job, I share an office with a young man who could be my grandson!!! :eek: Actually, it hits me when we’re watching Jeopardy and they ask questions about certain songs and singers. When I was a teen, I couldn’t imagine not knowing the most popular performers and their music. Now, I might occasionally recognize a name as a singer, maybe, but don’t expect me to know who sings what. And I do have a lawn, so get off it!!! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/12 "2017-05-26T11:46:48Z")
I’m a university instructor (part time). A couple weeks ago, I was teaching a case study that included a character named Brad doing something smart. I blurted out, “Look at the big brain on Brad!” Awkward silence. Then I realized that everyone in the room except me was born after _Pulp Fiction_ came out. Also, most of my students insist on calling me “Professor” or “Mr. Lastname”. I’m a young cool person! Call me by my first name, dammit! My car is older than our babysitter. My hearing is rapidly fading, so I spent a lot of time saying “Huh?” and scolding my kids for not speaking clearly to me. Just like my dad used to. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/13 "2017-05-26T11:53:24Z")
> [@steatopygia](#): > > More spooning. Less forking. More wagging, less barking. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/14 "2017-05-26T13:11:49Z")
I am now living in a deed restricted senior community in Florida. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/15 "2017-05-26T13:13:55Z")
I pay kids to sit on my lawn so I can yell at them to get off. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/16 "2017-05-26T13:28:39Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > It started for me when I realized that I was old enough to the be the mother of at least half of my coworkers. Now, in my post-retirment part-time job, I share an office with a young man who could be my grandson!!! :eek: Similar here :nodding: It’s gotten to the point that the young’uns rarely include me in their conversations and such because I’m _old_. Or, as a coworker once put it, “It’s not that we don’t like you. It’s just that having you around is like having our parents around even though you’re not our parent.” However, I’m not old enough to be my current manager’s mom. Sister, certainly. But not mom, thank god. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/17 "2017-05-26T14:20:45Z")
Another one I just thought of. KSHE radio in St. Louis was always the hard rock station when I was growing up. I never listened to it a lot, but I tune in now and again. Every year, KSHE has a big all-day music event called the Pig Roast (the station’s mascot is a pig [do radio stations even have mascots anymore?]). This year, that event is sponsored by AARP. ---
**Author:** ![jaycat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat/32/3015_2.png) [@jaycat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaycat)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/18 "2017-05-26T14:24:53Z")
When a friend’s kid told me, “I read about Woodstock in history class.” ---
**Author:** ![DummyGladHands](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DummyGladHands](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DummyGladHands)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/19 "2017-05-26T14:34:11Z")
You watch an award show, probably because there’s no documentary on. You’ve heard of maybe 10% of the presenters, nominees and award winners. You are most interested in the RIP segment of the program. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2017, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462/20 "2017-05-26T14:38:32Z")
The young Airman taking my blood pressure during my retirement physical wasn’t even born yet when I first enlisted ☹ When Lasik Plus tells you “Yes, we can fix your near-sightedness but even though you don’t need reading glasses now, you’ll have to start using reading glasses, because you are old” (actual quote from them “Because you are old” ☹ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-officially-old/787462.md?page=2)