# I'm on vacation! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 1, 2000, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290 "2000-07-01T18:43:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/21 "2000-07-05T15:06:24Z")
{coming up the stairs, frothing pewter stein in hand} Hey, **Veb,** I could’ve saved you a trip. You been down in the guy’s cellar yet? I didn’t know they MADE kegs that big anymore. There’s also a brace of Clydesdales stabled down there, a vintage skittle-board, a crystal meth lab, and oh yeah, it’s where he keeps his bang-bangs. My politics forbid me to indulge, but you guys could probably have some good clean fun with the Kalashnikov and the Thompson submachine gun…hey! There’s a bunny rabbit on the lawn! ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/22 "2000-07-05T15:28:31Z")
Did somebody order pizza?? I got mushroom, pepperonni, chicken and onion, veggie, plain, and one with everything. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/23 "2000-07-05T21:13:50Z")
If this party gets out of hand, I will feel it my duty to tell on you to UncleBeer. So maybe this will help keep you delinquents on your best† behaviour? UncleBeer would have wished that the MPSIMS posters behave with all due decorum, so out of respect for him, I suggest a tea party instead of a drunken bash. I’ll provide the crumpets and the cucumber sandwiches. Who wants to be mother? * * * †Of course, I realize that your best behaviour is atrocious by any normal standard. ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/24 "2000-07-05T21:28:47Z")
::Odieman wanders into the bedroom:: Hey what does that button do??? ::Odieman pushes button:: Wow, I’ve never seen a bed revolve before, and what neat polka music too. ::Odieman wanders out of the bedroom:: Hey guys look in here. You aren’t gonna believe this. Keith ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/25 "2000-07-05T22:11:10Z")
Guy stuff is back??? BRING OUT THE TEQUILA!!! ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/26 "2000-07-05T22:16:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arnold Winkelried \* > \*\*If this party gets out of hand, I will feel it my duty to tell on you to UncleBeer. So maybe this will help keep you delinquents on your best behaviour? UncleBeer would have wished that the MPSIMS posters behave with all due decorum, so out of respect for him, I suggest a tea party instead of a drunken bash. I’ll provide the crumpets and the cucumber sandwiches. Who wants to be mother? > \*\* Screw 'im. I’m in charge here. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/27 "2000-07-05T22:23:54Z")
Ooh! Ooh! Can I shoot the bunny??? :::ratatatatatatatatatatatat::: Wow! Bunny dust! I think it’s time for some Peep Skeet! :::tosses yellow Peep Chicky into the air::: PULL! :::BOOM!::: Woohoo! More beer! :::tosses pink Peep Bunny into air::: PULL! :::BOOM!::: Dang. I may have to rethink my position on guns. This is so…exhilarating! Especially with beer! The beer makes me a better shot, I think. :::tosses another yellow chicky::: PULL! :::BOOMcrash::: Oops. Um, I think I’ll take the skeet shooting outside. _…my Goddess, that’s a big hole in the ceiling…I hope he doesn’t notice…_ ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/28 "2000-07-05T22:51:07Z")
Dr. Watson! Your presence is required stat (and let’s hope there’s a scapel underneath that kilt!) Are Peeps sterile? Oooh, look! If you pour tequila on Peep scraps they foam! ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2000, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/29 "2000-07-05T23:09:55Z")
Okay, Eutychus55, but don’t ask me to help when you have to clean up! ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/30 "2000-07-06T00:39:35Z")
Since Persephone is busy w/ peep skeet–man, lookit that lurid yellow goo all over the ceiling!–wonder what happens if you douse a peep w/ 151 and light it? ::ka- **BOOOM!** That was…impressive! Man, those little suckers go up with a bang. Notice that blue flame? Wonder what’s happen if we did it to a _box_ of peeps? Hey, Arnold? Mom? Get the door willya? And take the damned batteries out of the smoke detector while you’re at it. We can hardly hear the UncleBeer’s polka records! Veb ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/31 "2000-07-06T00:42:07Z")
Wheee! Hey, y’all, I have some leftover bottle rockets from the holidaze! Persi, looky here. Ya can duct tape a peep to a Clustering Bees rocket for an extry challenge. SSSSsssssssttttt, and PULL! FwwwOOOOOOMMMM… Go girl. Aim steady… ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/32 "2000-07-06T03:44:31Z")
:::takes aim::: BOOM! Whoops. Missed. Darn. I think I hit a bird. No, wait. Birds don’t trail smoke. Oh, dammit. That’s a Cessna. :::dodges falling airplane pieces::: :::scratches head::: Hoo, boy. I thought the hole in the ceiling was bad…how in the hell am I going to explain this one? ---
**Author:** ![UncaStuart](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uncastuart/32/404_2.png) [@UncaStuart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncaStuart)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/33 "2000-07-06T04:13:24Z")
: : knock knock : : “Pardon me, I live about 5 blocks over, and I couldn’t hear my TV over the noise. So, excuse me while . . .” : : opens sinister looking case and removes bagpipes : : “. . . I find a place to practice. I think the dining room would work quite well, thank you very much.” ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/34 "2000-07-06T04:36:15Z")
Ummmm, I have a question. If the toilet were to… say… explode, do you think that would make UncleBeer made? This is a purely hypothetical question of course. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/35 "2000-07-06T05:29:36Z")
Oh,_noooo!_ Chief Scott attacked UncaBeer’s toilet!? Hmmm, great water pressure in this place. It’s almost put out the couch fire. ::shouts over bagpipe ‘music’:: Hey, Persi, don’t sweat the Cessna thing. You couldn’t help it! Hell, it looked like a flying peep to the rest of us, too! ::trips over recumbant drunk:: These things happen. **Arnold** said he was in charge, that he’s mom. We’ll blame ARNOLD! Somebody pass Arnold an Alice B. Toklas crumpet, wouldja? He’s looking faint. Veb ---
**Author:** ![UncaStuart](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/uncastuart/32/404_2.png) [@UncaStuart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncaStuart)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/36 "2000-07-06T17:25:41Z")
Hmmm, sorry about the mess in the kitchen. Who’d athunk microwaved haggis could explode with such force. At least it’s covering up most of the peep goo. Oh, sorry Veb, here’s a towel. ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/37 "2000-07-06T17:29:25Z")
Uhhhh … I think I screwed up UB’s home-brewing still. Or did he always have matching tie-dyed wallpaper and carpeting in here? ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/38 "2000-07-06T19:10:14Z")
Yeah he did, but I don’t think it should be bubbling like that . OH MY GOD I THINK IT’s GONNA BLOW. Run for your lives. ::BLAM:: Oh the humanity…As God is my witness I didn’t know that peeps could fly!!! Keith ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/39 "2000-07-06T20:50:07Z")
Why should I be picking up after you slobs? When I said “who wants to be mother”, I thought that expression meant “who wants to pour the tea.” In any case, Eutychus55 said he was in charge, so now I can be as messy as I want. I’ll bring out my old drum kit to accompany the bagpipes. You don’t mind, UncaStuart, do you? I’ve always wanted to be part of a drum kit and bagpipes duo. (starts heavy metal drum solo à la Keith Moon) Is everyone ready for a singalong? “Sex and drugs and rock’n’roll.” Get those lighters ready! For those of you who would like to consider me as their mother, no problem. Just call me Medea. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2000, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290/40 "2000-07-06T22:05:33Z")
:::shaking off flaming airplane bits::: Freak, you _blew up_ the _toilet?_ Damn, I thought _I_ had bad aim. I wouldn’t worry too much, though, Freak. Unless you messed up UncleBeer’s crocheted hat toilet paper cover. If you messed that up, well, I’d consider the Witness Protection Program. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-on-vacation/24290.md?page=3)