# I'm pathetic, (or there's this girl at work...) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 2, 2002, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088 "2002-07-02T19:37:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/1 "2002-07-02T19:37:04Z")
There is this girl that I noticed right away. She has a certain quality that just strikes me as stunning (though in my own warped way of being stunning) Anyways, at first I thought she worked in my building, but it turns out she is only here for training. I attempted to talk to her in the lunchroom for breakfast, and while we managed a few exchanges, she needed to go, as did I. I was trying to find her at lunch, to chat some more, but I didn’t see her. I am off for the rest of the week, and I know I have to do something. At the risk of looking like a little schoolboy, I scribbled a quick note and put it on her car windshield explaining that I enjoyed our chat, and would like to talk some more. Either I will seem a) harmlessly intriguing, b) pathetic, or c) a stalker. Did I do the right thing? I still have time to pull the note. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/2 "2002-07-02T19:48:46Z")
How’d you discover which car is hers? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/3 "2002-07-02T19:56:02Z")
I hope you remembered to include some way for her to contact you on that note! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/4 "2002-07-02T19:57:21Z")
I saw her nametag when we were talking this morning, and looked at the visitor log for her car description. D’oh, just got word that she left, and we have a view of the visitor parking lot, but didn’t see her go. I don’t even know if she saw the note. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/5 "2002-07-02T20:21:04Z")
Well, it depends as much on her personality as it does on your actions. I mean, _some_ actions–such as chasing her around with your severed finger, crying, “Every time you go, you must take a piece of me with you!”–are creepy, and others can be sweet at best, and innocuous, at worst. So I’d say that unless she’s had previous stalker experiences which have left her paranoid, or unless you did some creepy thing at breakfast, you’re OK. I just hope you’re a decent speller–I once got a note on my car from an admirer, which said that I was very “ellegante”. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/6 "2002-07-02T20:22:40Z")
Keep us posted. I hope the note explained that you wouldn’t have gotten to see her again and thus the note on her windshield. ---
**Author:** ![welby1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@welby1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby1)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/7 "2002-07-02T20:33:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Max Carnage \* > \*\*How’d you discover which car is hers? \*\* He’s a stalker. A Sicko. A PERRRRRRRRRRRRRRVERT. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![rubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@rubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rubes)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2002, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/8 "2002-07-02T21:10:57Z")
I believe that I used proper grammer, punctuation and spelling. I wish I could have written a bit more to make the scenerio more intriguing. However, I am glad that I put the note there. She left earlier than her classmates, and hopefully my note isn’t crumpled up, blowing around the parking lot. Welby1, I’m glad you put the rrrrr, in pervert for me, as I do have multiple ways of purring for the ladies. You may want to flip the i&e in thier (sic) in your sig. ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/9 "2002-07-03T02:10:12Z")
I had a guy at the restaurant I worked at do that to me… one of the busboys put a love-note under my windshield wiper. Something like “You are so beautiful,See you at work tomorrow, sweetie, Love Jacob.” I reported him to the management. It was mega-weird, and I don’t have stalker-issues. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/10 "2002-07-03T03:40:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > \*\* > > I just hope you’re a decent speller–I once got a note on my car from an admirer, which said that I was very “ellegante”. \*\* Just a typo. He probably meant “em-egant”. As for the OP, leaving a note on a car falls into the “vaguely creepy” category. No matter how tasteful and charming your note (and it did seem pretty tasteful), the bottom line is that this woman is at \* work \* and should be able to do her job without getting hit on. ---
**Author:** ![Koffing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@Koffing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koffing)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/11 "2002-07-03T04:08:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jinwicked \* > \*\*I had a guy at the restaurant I worked at do that to me… one of the busboys put a love-note under my windshield wiper. Something like “You are so beautiful,See you at work tomorrow, sweetie, Love Jacob.” I reported him to the management. It was mega-weird, and I don’t have stalker-issues. \*\* Not quite the same thing, IMO. The note you got was a _lot_ more forward than the OP’s, and your notewriter was way more familiar than he had any right to be. I don’t blame you for reporting him. The OP’s note was neither of those things. ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/12 "2002-07-03T04:21:05Z")
As long as the note was “I enjoyed our chat” and not a “gawd I love you, you are so beautiful” type note. I find it harmless. She know’s you are interested, let her make the next move. If she doesn’t, move on. She’s there for a job, and if she wants anything else, she’ll let you know. Best of luck…I remember young love. It’s beautiful. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/13 "2002-07-03T04:48:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by superbee \* > \*\*Best of luck…I remember young love. It’s beautiful. \*\* Nah, in my state they call it “pedophilia” and they say I can’t– Oh god. Did I say that aloud? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/14 "2002-07-03T04:59:01Z")
I’m still with **Finagle** , I think it’s vaguely creepy, no matter what it said. You shoulda just found out her whole name, then come home and Googled her… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/15 "2002-07-03T10:12:08Z")
I think I’d need to know exactly what the note said before determining it’s CF (creep factor). I’d be WAY more freaked that someone whom I chit chatted with figured out which car was mine than the note itself. ---
**Author:** ![Frank\_2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Frank\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank_2)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/16 "2002-07-03T13:08:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SwimmingRiddles \* > \*\*I’d be WAY more freaked that someone whom I chit chatted with figured out which car was mine than the note itself. \*\* It’s possible that **rubes** had seen the girl in the parking lot one morning and took note of which car was hers. Not that it did happen, but it could. If the note wasn’t too forward (I love you, need to see you, die without you, etc) and you left a way of being contacted then it seems OK. After all, how else would you contact her since it was the last day you would see her at your office? ---
**Author:** ![EchoKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@EchoKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EchoKitty)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/17 "2002-07-03T13:19:45Z")
It’s a little weird, but the “creep factor” is pretty low. I wouldn’t do it again if I were you…but she might think it’s ok. Some chicks like the drama. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/18 "2002-07-03T13:44:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Frank #2 \* > \*\* > > It’s possible that **rubes** had seen the girl in the parking lot one morning and took note of which car was hers. Not that it did happen, but it could. \*\* It’s also possible that Bob in accounting is scratching his head, wondering why this guy has a crush on him. ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/19 "2002-07-03T14:18:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SkipMagic \* > \*\*Nah, in my state they call it “pedophilia” (snip) \*\* Huh. In my state, when you try to peddle Philia, it’s called soliciting prostitution. (what, no rim-shot? ok, ok, it’s early in the morning) To echo everyone else (a thin veil to justify the above bad joke), as long as you had good vibes when you talked to her you should be ok. The note shouldn’t come across as creepy as long as the conversation wasn’t along the lines of “Good coffee, hey?” “Uh, yeah. I gotta go over there now.” ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2002, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088/20 "2002-07-03T14:30:09Z")
A tasteful note from admirer? I might not reply to it if I was single but I’d be flattered and it would put a little _zing_ in my walk for the rest of the day. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pathetic-or-theres-this-girl-at-work/117088.md?page=2)