# I'm Pittin' You, You worthless Bastard. F-you and you deserve it. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 8, 2012, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564 "2012-06-08T23:30:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Super\_Kapowzler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Super\_Kapowzler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Kapowzler)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2012, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/1 "2012-06-08T23:30:27Z")
Fuck you. You’re an idiot. You come home, from the bar, grab a couplea freshies from the fridge and proceed to plop into a chair out on your deck. Oh, you got some good weed. Really? I’m impressed. Whaddaya 16? Oh yeah, the gnats, they’re fuckin’ bad. I like how you try to smoke your pot when the gnats are flying up inside your glasses. That’s some real funny shit. Yeah, grab that bottle of Absorbine jr., it repels the fuckers, 'cept its been sitting out on your air-conditioner unit at about 7000 degrees all afternoon. Yup, twist the cap off and spread it about your forehead. Oh, the applicator-sponge-thing prevented a pressure equalization? Welcome to Linamint Falls. That frying sound is your eyes. I think there is an entree at the China Hut, #36- Fragrant Eyebows with Eyeball Rangoon. That’s you. You shy-up 'round linamints? you piece of shit. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2012, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/2 "2012-06-08T23:35:48Z")
I burning your pot! ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2012, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/3 "2012-06-08T23:49:53Z")
So did you get high too? Get high and then mess up with writing something here in your OP that necessitated you going back and editing it? ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/4 "2012-06-09T01:09:38Z")
I was sober and I didn’t understand, so I got high. I still don’t understand, but I now feel better and am amused. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/5 "2012-06-09T01:12:52Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > I was sober and I didn’t understand, so I got high. I still don’t understand, but I now feel better and am amused. Here, let me help… > [@Super\_Kapowzler](#): > > Fuck you. You’re an idiot. You come home, from the bar, grab a couplea freshies from the fridge and proceed to plop into a chair out on your deck. Oh, you got some good weed. Really? I’m impressed. Whaddaya 16? > Oh yeah, the gnats, they’re fuckin’ bad. I like how you try to smoke your pot when the gnats are flying up inside your glasses. That’s some real funny shit. > Yeah, grab that bottle of Absorbine jr., it repels the fuckers, 'cept its been sitting out on your air-conditioner unit at about 7000 degrees all afternoon. Yup, twist the cap off and spread it about your forehead. > Oh, the applicator-sponge-thing prevented a pressure equalization? > Welcome to Linamint Falls. That frying sound is your eyes. > I think there is an entree at the China Hut, #36- Fragrant Eyebows with Eyeball Rangoon. That’s you. > You shy-up 'round linamints? you piece of shit. “And Shit!” There, that’s better. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/6 "2012-06-09T01:36:20Z")
You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… you talking to me? Well I’m the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? Oh yeah? Okay. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/7 "2012-06-09T04:20:50Z")
> [@Super Kapowzler](#): > > Oh, you got some good weed. Really? I’m impressed. At least he went out and _got_ some weed, unlike you, who mooched it. Absorbine Jr as bug repellent? Is that a stoner thing? Does it work? ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/8 "2012-06-09T06:31:27Z")
> [@Super\_Kapowzler](#): > > Whaddaya 16? Asks the 40 something that uses “whaddaya” and “and shit”. Just saying… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ticker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@ticker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ticker)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/9 "2012-06-09T08:15:50Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > Absorbine Jr as bug repellent? Is that a stoner thing? Does it work? I had no idea what Absorbine Jr was so googled and got this: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rR79K7PARHk](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rR79K7PARHk), live from downtown Springfield no less! ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/10 "2012-06-09T08:22:03Z")
You guys weren’t anywhere near a quarry, by any chance? ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/11 "2012-06-09T08:41:44Z")
If **Super Kapowzler** wrote a book, I would buy the fuck out of it. Hell, I’d buy five copies and give them to my friends, and then buy five more and give them to people I hate. Thompsonian shit up inz. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/12 "2012-06-09T10:13:05Z")
I like him. That’s all. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/13 "2012-06-09T10:22:40Z")
Shit. From the thread title I naturally assumed I as being pitted, but I was wrong. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/14 "2012-06-09T10:54:43Z")
I believe that Mr. Kapowzler is complaining about an acquaintance who likes to indulge in various mood- and mild-altering substances and who dislikes the presence of gnats as he does so. To repel said gnats, the acquaintance prefers to use a product that causes his eyes to sting and then complains about the discomfort. Mr. Kapowzler is simply using his Kapowzlerian style to describe the above. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/15 "2012-06-09T11:00:32Z")
[Absorbine Jr apparently repels gnats!?](http://www.reuters.com/article/2008/07/17/idUS128369+17-Jul-2008+BW20080717) ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/16 "2012-06-09T11:16:47Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > I believe that Mr. Kapowzler is complaining about an acquaintance who likes to indulge in various mood- and mild-altering substances and who dislikes the presence of gnats as he does so. To repel said gnats, the acquaintance prefers to use a product that causes his eyes to sting and then complains about the discomfort. Mr. Kapowzler is simply using his Kapowzlerian style to describe the above. Okay, but in the closing chapter the protagonist applies liniment to his forehead, neglecting the pressure build-up within the bottle, and causing a cascade of liniment over his eyebrows and into his eyes. This sounds hysterical, not pit-worthy. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/17 "2012-06-09T13:11:02Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > I was sober and I didn’t understand, so I got high. … HEY … puff, puff, pass! CMC fnord! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/18 "2012-06-09T13:54:29Z")
> [@MsRobyn](#): > > I believe that Mr. Kapowzler is complaining about an acquaintance who likes to indulge in various mood- and mild-altering substances and who dislikes the presence of gnats as he does so. To repel said gnats, the acquaintance prefers to use a product that causes his eyes to sting and then complains about the discomfort. That’s what I got out of it too. But I can’t figure out how this is a pit topic. Okay, the guy got some ointment in his eyes. Where does the part about being a worthless bastard who deserved it come from? ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/19 "2012-06-09T14:24:50Z")
Let’s face it, the guy has been hilarious ever since he started at [The Onion](http://www.theonion.com/personalities/jim-anchower,1020/), and shit. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2012, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564/20 "2012-06-09T14:34:05Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > This sounds hysterical, not pit-worthy. Yes, in the Dickensian tradition, where the protagonist stands by to witness society’s impersonal mechanisms. We see this emerge at the pivotal plot-point: [QUOTE=Dickensian Plot-Point] Oh, the applicator-sponge-thing prevented a pressure equalization? [/quote] Ultimately, we are all helpless pawns of industrialization, and must make do as best we can. That’s some funny shit. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-pittin-you-you-worthless-bastard-f-you-and-you-deserve-it/624564.md?page=2)