# I'm probably going to kill my cat next week. What should I tell my 3 yo granddaughter? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 3, 2013, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493 "2013-07-03T00:03:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AllShookDown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d9b06d/32.png) [@AllShookDown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllShookDown)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/21 "2013-07-03T16:00:49Z")
I was the youngest in our family and whenever our pets were given away to someone else or had to be euthanized, I was told they “ran away.” I never gave it a second thought. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_Hey_Paula)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/22 "2013-07-03T16:15:50Z")
> [@colander](#): > > They sell it in a liquid form so you can mix it with wet cat food. Might as well give it a shot if the only other option is the axe, right? The liquid form is nasty tasting - I gave it to my depressed kitty once and he promptly vomited it back up. Never tried it again, there went $40 down the drain. According to the compounding pharmacist, the underlying medicine is very bitter, and not even the liver flavoring they use will cover it up. Kitty would not take the pill form, even in Pill Pockets - he’d eat the treat and avoid the pill. The pill was chewable, and it would dissolve in his mouth, there was no way to just shove it down his gullet. I finally got a rub-in-the-ear form of Prozac that worked. This particular kitty was having urinary issues where he was peeing every five minutes, blood in his urine, etc. After many vet visits, as far as we could tell it was stress/depression induced or aggravated, there had been a lot of change and stress in our house. He finally got over it on his own. (And now he may have lymphoma, but that’s another story). I also have a middle-aged cat that pees on everything. I just had to get rid of my old sofa and an old mattress in the guest room. I have to keep our bedroom door closed or he’ll pee on the bed. We have to put barriers on our living room chairs or he’ll pee on them. And his pee is super-stinky! I too am at my wit’s end. We have multiple litter boxes, we’ve tried Feliway, all to no avail. I may try the leftover kitty Prozac on him, to see if it helps. And when we get a new sofa, it will be covered in plastic as long at we have that cat. He’s so beautiful, we really love him, and he gets along well with our other cats. The whole thing is just so frustrating. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/23 "2013-07-03T17:02:35Z")
> [@toofs](#): > > I suggested he become an outdoor kitty. That means he still lives at the home, is fed at the home, plays with the kids at the home, just not inside the house. Many, many cats live this way, coming into the house to visit, not sleep. It can have shelter in the garage. While I agree that house cats can be successful outdoor cats (in some climates), it’s not recommended in this case due to what the OP says about the neighborhood, unless he also plans to put up a fence. We currently have an outdoor cat, simply because he was nearby when we moved in. He was clearly a housecat. In fact, he’s sick right now so he’s inside (in a separate room), and knows how to use the litter box. Has to be kept apart from our indoor cat, and I’m alergic, and other stuff, so when he’s better, back outside he goes. He seems to have turned the corner (earlier it looked like curtains for kitty.) > [@AllShookDown](#): > > I was the youngest in our family and whenever our pets were given away to someone else or had to be euthanized, I was told they “ran away.” I never gave it a second thought. I wouldn’t recommend this. In our family, if a pet is lost, we go on an all-out full-frontal attack to do whatever is necessary to find the lost pet. I wouldn’t want to send the message “Oh, our family member disappeared … whatever.” Please don’t take this personally; I’m sure it didn’t scar you for life or anything. I agree with those who advise not to make up a story. Stick with the facts, but spin them as softly as possible (e.g., “We had to take him to the vet, but he died. I sure do miss him, don’t you?”) Wait a month and then go looking for a new kitty. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/24 "2013-07-03T17:03:51Z")
We bought a Maine Coon kitty when my eldest girl was about three. The kitty was the most wonderful cat I’ve ever owned. Unfortunately when I took her to the vet to get neutered, the vet told us she had a serious heart ailment and would not survive more than a year. Very reluctantly I returned her to the breeder. I had just lost a cat recently and could not bear the thought of losing another one so soon. We told our daughter that the cat was too sick to keep with us. She was fine with it. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/25 "2013-07-03T17:08:50Z")
> [@JustinC](#): > > You took the cat to a vet about it’s peeing (potentially harmful - Toxoplasmosis anyone?) _Toxoplasma gondii_ lives in the poop, not pee. Not that that fact makes cat urine anymore pleasant of course. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/26 "2013-07-03T17:09:19Z")
What brand of cat litter are you using? Some brands hurt cats with sensitive paws. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/27 "2013-07-03T17:27:32Z")
> [@toofs](#): > > 50 IQ points? How civil of you. > > You missed the point, one I should have made more clearly. Nowhere did I suggest abandoning this cat. I suggested he become an outdoor kitty… … in an area the OP made very clear is deathly dangerous to a formerly-indoor cat. Disease + violent attacks from the local ferals for one, and - though not explicitly mentioned by the OP - nearly anywhere in the United States, violent attacks + being eaten alive by coyotes. As far as the granddaughter, I think omitting certain truths is OK, but outright lying is not. “Kitty was very sick, and we took him to the kitty doctor, and he tried everything he could, but kitty died.” is OK. “Kitty was peeing everywhere so we took him to have him be killed.” is not OK. Even though they’re describing the exact same scenario … ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/28 "2013-07-03T17:35:26Z")
Yes, outdoors for any length of time is not an option. He would at the very least bring back fleas and diseases to infect our other cat. I like very much the wording about he was sick, taken to the doctor, died anyway despite best efforts. As far as litter, we have tried several different brands and styles, and nothing made any difference. Sometime he uses it, sometimes he doesn’t. He was rescued not from a shelter, but from an organization. That’s a great idea to contact them and see if they want him back. Worth a try. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/29 "2013-07-03T18:07:45Z")
I’m guessing “Hey, watch this!” is probably not a good idea. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/30 "2013-07-03T18:30:27Z")
We had a cat that started peeing everywhere when he was about 9 years old. He was spraying from time to time, though, as a reaction to being picked on for his whole life by one of our older cats at the time. We tried everything. Had to replace the livingroom carpet with pergo, had to constantly deal with urine smell in odd places. Tried the meds to calm him down, tried different litter box strategies…nothing worked. We eventually decided that one of the two had to go, since we thought splitting the two of them up might cure the peeing one. My wife’s aunt loves the peeing cat, and immediately volunteered to take him, and has had him ever since. Our other two cats have since died in the four years since, but Mr. pee lives on. He’s doing well. He still pees outside the litter box from time to time from what I hear, but not as much as he did with us. Glad she can put up with it. I loved him dearly, and could never have euthanized him over this, but we were glad to have the smell out of our house. Handling it with your daughter…if you really feel that euthanasia is the only way, I honestly wouldn’t tell her that you’re doing that. It will seem horribly cruel to a child of that age (heck, it seems fairly cruel to me)…and it’s going to scare the crap out of her. I mean, she’s going to see that (in her mind) minor behavior issues = death if they happen enough. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/31 "2013-07-03T18:44:40Z")
I’ve always loved the matter-of-fact way that Sally Fields delivered the news to her son in “Forest Gump”. She just said "It’s just my time, Forest. It was just his time. Let her see you just accepting this as part of the circle of life. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/32 "2013-07-03T19:19:04Z")
I just checked with the rescue organization we got him from. They said they would take him back, but would probably end up euthanizing him anyway. Great advice on what to tell my granddaughter. Just his time, doctor couldn’t help him be well, etc. is better than the “went to a farm” story. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/33 "2013-07-03T20:17:35Z")
Tell her the cat got called up to the Majors, then distract her with baseball stats. She’ll forget about that cat in 6 seconds. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2013, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/34 "2013-07-03T23:21:38Z")
“Cat Suicide”. Just tell the child that Lil Kitty was looking depressed for the last few weeks, and had been acting strangely… You can’t build your alibi too early. ---
**Author:** ![Ruken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f475e1/32.png) [@Ruken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruken)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/35 "2013-07-04T03:58:11Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > She’s three. This is not going to be something she’ll remember later, so lie or tell the truth, whatever. She’s too young to understand death. Just tell her Mr. Whiskers moved to the big city to fight crime and change the subject. Plenty of kids remember stuff from when they’re three. That said, we had a rabbit who died when I was that age. I cried. I got over it. They didn’t tell me the details. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/36 "2013-07-04T04:42:05Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I’m guessing “Hey, watch this!” is probably not a good idea. > > Regards, > Shodan Ha.😃 ---
**Author:** ![SayTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@SayTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SayTwo)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/37 "2013-07-04T06:55:32Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > OP was quite clear there is a feral colony nearby and this cat would be encroaching on their territory. There’s no way death from a territorial attack or disease carried by these cats is preferable to humane euthanasia. Are you seriously saying it would be better to be torn apart by a coyote than euthanized at the vet’s office? What’s wrong with you? > > Nice to know you think it’s fine to put out a cat that can’t hunt or effectively defend itself, has no idea how to fight, has no idea how to find shelter. How about before you make a suggestion people might freak out over, you think it through with more than 50 IQ points? These things are not instinctual, they are taught by feral mother cats to their kittens. If kitty didn’t learn that stuff from momma cat and hone those skills through adulthood, he’s going to have life-threatening problems outside. It’s not a chance at life, it’s a guarantee to end up dead through violence or disease. It’s not commuting a death sentence, it’s just making sure he suffers first. > > The OP has clearly thought things through, and a kind death after a kind life is the kindest thing they could do if kitty has unfortunate unfixable issues. I can tell you with certainty that the things you think are not instinctual are indeed at least present in every cat. You can call it what you want. Your attitude makes me cringe. The cat is an animal, not a human object. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/38 "2013-07-04T07:15:28Z")
> [@SayTwo](#): > > I can tell you with certainty that the things you think are not instinctual are indeed at least present in every cat. What makes you say that? ---
**Author:** ![SayTwo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@SayTwo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SayTwo)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/39 "2013-07-04T07:25:51Z")
> [@colander](#): > > What makes you say that? How to defend, how to fight, how to find shelter…I guess we can get into semantics if we like, but I’m pretty sure every cat can get by knowing how to do that. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2013, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493/40 "2013-07-04T10:06:20Z")
> [@SayTwo](#): > > How to defend, how to fight, how to find shelter…I guess we can get into semantics if we like, but I’m pretty sure every cat can get by knowing how to do that. Tell that to all the sick, injured, starving, abandoned house cats taken in by the rescues every year. I’m sure they’ll straighten right up and figure it out with some finger shaking and a good talking to. I’ve been a part of taking in thousands of cats that clearly can’t take care of themselves outside. How about you? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-probably-going-to-kill-my-cat-next-week-what-should-i-tell-my-3-yo-granddaughter/662493.md?page=3)