# I'm rich! I'm rich! I'm retarded! I'm retarded! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 10, 2004, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510 "2004-03-10T17:05:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Futile\_Gesture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f05b48/32.png) [@Futile\_Gesture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Futile_Gesture)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/41 "2004-03-10T21:10:14Z")
> [@Capt B. Phart](#): > > Well, it _could_ have worked - It did some years ago here in the UK when someone added a few zeros to a cheque from Social Services, changing £50 to £500,000. A Post Office cashier calmly handed over 1/2 million quid and the guy disappeared. Hmmmmmm. :dubious: Got a cite for that tall tale? 1/ No post offices would have such an amount of cash. 2/ No one cashier would be involved with such a massive transaction. It would involve and be noticed by every member of staff in the premises. 3/ They’d all have to be total idiots not to query such a large cheque. ---
**Author:** ![JerH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bb73d2/32.png) [@JerH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerH)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/42 "2004-03-10T21:24:05Z")
[QUOTE=lissener] [ol][li]How would you like your change?[/ol][/li][/QUOTE] With a single $998,325 bill, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/43 "2004-03-10T21:35:32Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > What you’re talking about is up to a judge or a jury to decide, not an arresting officer. Judge? Jury??? This idiotic fiasco has soaked up far too many of our public resources already. Cops had to spend the time arresting, booking, photographing, etc. this jackass that they could have spent doing ANYTHING else. I rather have them protecting my local Dunkin Donuts than bothering with this person. She’s a buffoon who is no threat whatsoever to society, at least, this particular action was no threat. The very idea that the DA, judges, juries are going to waste their time with her makes me just a little bit ill. I’d like to give a shout out to the crackerjack Walmart manager who couldn’t handle this mental midget by himself. It’s easy… “Get out of my store.” Then, you don’t need the police arresting someone on your property, scaring off customers. Instead, he calls the cops, who are probably forced to arrest her because there was a complaint, and starts up this whole mess. What they really needed was to have detective Don Brodka from Try-N-Save on the case. That’s right, Don Brodka. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/44 "2004-03-10T21:43:57Z")
> [@Futile Gesture](#): > > 3/ They’d all have to be total idiots not to query such a large cheque. Well, isn´t that the whole morality of this thread?, that there _is_ stupid people out there? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/45 "2004-03-10T21:56:58Z")
My first thoughts after I heard about this story was that the wife of a high level Nigerian Government official had finally paid her investors. Don’t you all wish you had gotten in when you got the chance? ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/46 "2004-03-10T21:59:46Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > First clue? Why is the Statue of Liberty the first clue? Would you be equally suspicious if someone handed you a large denomination bill with someone named Salmon Chase on it? Ironically (at least to someone who thinks the Statue of Liberty should have been a give-away), the US’s 1 oz platinum coin (not cheap!) features an engraving of the statue of liberty on the front. ---
**Author:** ![CheekyMonkey613](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e480ec/32.png) [@CheekyMonkey613](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheekyMonkey613)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/47 "2004-03-10T22:03:59Z")
From the OP’s cite, There was no listing for her phone number in directory assistance, and she could not be reached for comment Tuesday. Yeah well no shit. I think Alice is an Alex. And “Regina” is just a bad bad joke. ---
**Author:** ![Zanshin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e274bd/32.png) [@Zanshin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zanshin)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/48 "2004-03-10T22:05:37Z")
All I wanna know is, did she buy a fur coat? A K car? A green dress? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/49 "2004-03-10T22:22:28Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Um, I buy my panties wadded. At Wal-Mart? ---
**Author:** ![angelicate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@angelicate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/angelicate)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/50 "2004-03-10T23:05:35Z")
> [@Zanshin](#): > > All I wanna know is, did she buy a fur coat? A K car? A green dress? A Picasso or a Garfunkel? ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/51 "2004-03-10T23:07:17Z")
> [@KarmaComa](#): > > She shouldn’t be in jail? But… > > she’s poor! Nuh uh! She had TWO MORE MILLION DOLLAR BILLS in her purse! ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/52 "2004-03-10T23:27:06Z")
> [@Stuffy](#): > > A million dollar bill is a bit overkill, but don’t underestimate the stupidity of cashiers. Back in my teens I worked at a Taco Bell. The owner had several framed bills that customers had managed to pass off as real. Including a $20, that was actually a $1, with the corners from a $20 glued on. Believe it or not, this is a vey common scam. It can also be accomplished by slicing about 1" off of the end of some $10 and $1 bills, then attaching the small part of the $10 to the large part of the $1. Slip a couple of those bill into a stack of tens, and most clerks won’t catch on. You can spend the damaged (but genuine) tens separately, and they will be honored as long as they are 75% intact. This works equally well with $20s and $2s. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/53 "2004-03-10T23:28:27Z")
When I clicked on the link in the OP, I saw her picture and, underneath, there is another link for ‘slideshow’ option of viewing the pictures. I read it is ‘sideshow’. In retrospect, I wasn’t far off. ---
**Author:** ![emekthian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecae2f/32.png) [@emekthian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emekthian)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/54 "2004-03-10T23:46:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Well, it could have worked - It did some years ago here in the UK when someone added a few zeros to a cheque from Social Services, changing £50 to £500,000. A Post Office cashier calmly handed over 1/2 million quid and the guy disappeared. I suspect that’s a hoax, if only because it’s so similar to the plot of the pilot episode of Family Guy. Either that, or this is where the writers got the idea. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/55 "2004-03-10T23:58:52Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > How you buy $1,675 worth of stuff at _WalMart_? It’s actually pretty easy. I could fill up a basket or two for that amount in, say, half an hour in the dead of night. Give me an hour and a half on Saturday afternoon, when Bubba and Mary Sue and all their kids (his, hers, and theirs) are out for a fun afternoon of shopping. WalMart sells (or sold, back when I actually went to those stores) quite a few small appliances. A couple of sewing machines, some sets of cookware, a few guns, and some of those nosehair trimmers…pretty soon those items add up. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/56 "2004-03-11T00:16:29Z")
> [@Zanshin](#): > > All I wanna know is, did she buy a fur coat? A K car? A green dress? Not a real fur coat. That’s _cruel_! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/57 "2004-03-11T01:17:29Z")
You know, she looks a lot like Jose Canseco… ---
**Author:** ![CheekyMonkey613](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e480ec/32.png) [@CheekyMonkey613](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheekyMonkey613)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/58 "2004-03-11T01:36:25Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > You know, she looks a lot like Jose Canseco… You know … you’re right. [Here’s Alice [URL=http://www.canseconet.com/]Regina Pike.](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/ap/20040310/ap_on_re_us/million_dollar_bill&e=4)Here’s Jose Canseco. Give her a tan and get rid of the mullet, and we’ve got a match. ---
**Author:** ![CheekyMonkey613](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e480ec/32.png) [@CheekyMonkey613](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheekyMonkey613)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/59 "2004-03-11T01:38:19Z")
Oops! HERE is [Alice Regina Pike](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/ap/20040310/ap_on_re_us/million_dollar_bill&e=4) And here’s his brother, [Jose](http://www.canseconet.com/). 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bouncer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@Bouncer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bouncer)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/60 "2004-03-11T03:39:09Z")
> [@LordVor](#): > > If I had a fake bill of any denomination, and I wanted to find a cashier stupid enough to accept it, WalMart would be the first retail store I would go. > > If it was a smaller bill, I’d go with fast food. > > -lv Nah, a busy bar or nightclub. Dark, easy to pass multiple fake 20’s without anyone noticing because the bar staff is just too damn busy working in poor light to spot anything but the most obvious counterfeit. Buy a beer, pass a twenty and just ask for 15 or 10 in change (price of beer dependent). The bartender will probably thank you for the tip. Take beer and sip a little and leave it some place. Rinse and repeat. A decent nightclub may have two or three bars and you could rotate among them. You could probably pass a couple hundred a night or so by rotating (though that would be pushing your luck and burn you at that bar). We caught one guy once doing just that. Our local off duty cops (parking lot and exterior security) held him in the back of one of their cruisers. Two Secret Service agents got up at 1AM, drove 20mi from Richmond, VA down to the bar, and took him away. I’d not ever mess with the Secret Service. They’re pretty serious folks. Regards, -Bouncer- [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510.md?page=4)