# I'm rich! I'm rich! I'm retarded! I'm retarded! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 10, 2004, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510 "2004-03-10T17:05:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/81 "2004-03-11T17:10:19Z")
Sorry, but \*retarded \* is currently one of my favorite words (very annoying for people who know me). Though I usually pronounce it _r’TAWW-dit_. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/82 "2004-03-11T20:02:20Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > Agreed. I really wish we could get a bit more insite on how she handled the incident. Seems like she didn’t really know what was going on. An acquaintance of mine has a “mental disorder”. He’s bipolar, like me. Unlike me, however, he does the occasional (but rare) Very Odd Thing. One day the Very Odd Thing he did got him in newspapers all over the place in “The Stupidest Criminal” section. He robbed a bank. His own bank. The bank where the manager and staff know him personally and by name. He didn’t have a disguise. He didn’t have a weapon. And when police stopped him in his car he had a “How to Rob a Bank” book on the passenger seat. \ Now, the friends we have in common just had to ask, “Dude, what the _hell_ were you _thinking???_” Answer: He doesn’t really know. The “what if” idea occurred to him and he just acted on it impulsively, without any real thought or feeling about it – as if the “no, no, very bad idea” filter that one normally has running in one’s brain, was just not working at the time. Apparently, he was outwardly very calm and collected when he committed his crime – he was just in this dissociative “zone.” So when the cops asked “_why_ did you rob your bank?” he could only answer “um,…I don’t know.” Could be a similar type of thing. She had the fake bill in her purse and was in a dissociative state where stuff doesn’t really mean anything and logic is a little askew. (It’s a hard state of mind to describe.) ---
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/83 "2004-03-11T20:16:44Z")
> [@Zanshin](#): > > All I wanna know is, did she buy a fur coat? A K car? A green dress? Yes, but not a real fur coat. That’s cruel. Same with the green dress. ---
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/84 "2004-03-11T20:21:19Z")
And I end up copying everyone else because I forgot to check the second page. My parents live near Covington. As far as girl-watching there goes, that’s about as good as you can expect. ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/85 "2004-03-11T20:40:35Z")
> [@Eats\_Crayons](#): > > An acquaintance of mine has a “mental disorder”. He’s bipolar, like me. Unlike me, however, he does the occasional (but rare) Very Odd Thing. One day the Very Odd Thing he did got him in newspapers all over the place in “The Stupidest Criminal” section. > He robbed a bank. His own bank. Very interesting – almost the same thing happened to my best friend from childhood. He went off his meds (I don’t know the exact diagnosis – he was living in Australia at the time), walked into his own bank, and robbed it with a pocket knife. Then he leisurely walked home with the police following him. Two years in prison. That was years ago and now he’s living about 100 miles from me, married to a woman half his age with two small children. He “seems” to be doing pretty well though doesn’t concentrate too well (Adult ADD??). ---
**Author:** ![heater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/858c86/32.png) [@heater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heater)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/86 "2004-03-11T20:45:12Z")
Ahhhh. So it was a “1920’s Style Death Coat.” /got nuthin’ ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/87 "2004-03-11T20:48:49Z")
I can hear the clerk now, “Lady, them banjos ain’t free.” > [@Capt B. Phart](#): > > Well, it _could_ have worked - It did some years ago here in the UK when someone added a few zeros to a cheque from Social Services, changing £50 to £500,000. A Post Office cashier calmly handed over 1/2 million quid and the guy disappeared. I don’t think I could eat that many squid. (Oh, never mind…) ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/88 "2004-03-11T21:42:39Z")
> [@Stuffy](#): > > A million dollar bill is a bit overkill, but don’t underestimate the stupidity of cashiers. Back in my teens I worked at a Taco Bell. The owner had several framed bills that customers had managed to pass off as real. Including a $20, that was actually a $1, with the corners from a $20 glued on. Hang on, I am having a little trouble with the fake $20. Somebody took a $20 bill, cut the corners off it, and glued them onto a $1 bill. But you cannot spend a $20 with the corners cut off. So it cost them $21 to produce a fake $20 bill. Gangbusters, my mother, and Batman are right - crime does not pay. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/89 "2004-03-11T22:39:14Z")
> [@5que](#): > > Very interesting – almost the same thing happened to my best friend from childhood. He went off his meds (I don’t know the exact diagnosis – he was living in Australia at the time), walked into his own bank, and robbed it with a pocket knife. Then he leisurely walked home with the police following him. Two years in prison. That was years ago and now he’s living about 100 miles from me, married to a woman half his age with two small children. He “seems” to be doing pretty well though doesn’t concentrate too well (Adult ADD??). The guy my friends are good pals with got some kind of probation (presumably, I mean, he’s not in prison now). He wasn’t armed, wasn’t threatening, wasn’t disguised. He just politely gave the teller a note. Mostly he caused confusion because the staff of the bank _knew him_, (he lived around the corner!) and didn’t really put any effort into fleeing the scene of the crime. The bank manager was quite perplexed. I think it all ended up being treated as an “incident” involving a psychiatric patient who had a “misadventure”. It worked out quite appropriately, this guy does not belong in prison. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/90 "2004-03-11T22:57:18Z")
I’d bet you can spend a twenty with **one** corner cut off. So you take four twenties and cut off one corner from each, and then glue them onto a one. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/91 "2004-03-11T23:02:11Z")
> [@LordVor](#): > > If I had a fake bill of any denomination, and I wanted to find a cashier stupid enough to accept it, WalMart would be the first retail store I would go. > > If it was a smaller bill, I’d go with fast food. > > -lv AFOAF who is a cop told me that most people passing bad bills do it in busy bars late at night. Poor lighting makes it easier to pass poor quality cash. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/92 "2004-03-11T23:31:31Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > She should have gone to a casino, traded it for chips, and then cashed in the chips for real money. I’m sure they wouldn’t have caught on. Are you kidding? If she had tried that, I’m _sure_ she would have been caught before you could say “that’s a fake.” Casinos handle a _lot_ of money, especially large-denomination bills. A counterfeit $100 would stand out like a sore thumb; a counterfeit **$1,000,000** would stand out like an eight-foot-tall, irradiated, neon green, glowing, mutant thumb that was tap-dancing its way to the buffet. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2004, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/93 "2004-03-11T23:49:25Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > A counterfeit $100 would stand out like a sore thumb; a counterfeit **$1,000,000** **would stand out like an eight-foot-tall, irradiated, neon green, glowing, mutant thumb that was tap-dancing its way to the buffet.** So, ya mean they´ll notice? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/94 "2004-03-12T00:06:43Z")
> [@Zanshin](#): > > All I wanna know is, did she buy a fur coat? A K car? A green dress? But not a real green dress…that’s cruel. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/95 "2004-03-12T03:47:32Z")
If I had a million BNL references, I’d buy your love. ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/96 "2004-03-12T05:59:04Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Hang on, I am having a little trouble with the fake $20. > > Somebody took a $20 bill, cut the corners off it, and glued them onto a $1 bill. But you cannot spend a $20 with the corners cut off. > > So it cost them $21 to produce a fake $20 bill. > > Gangbusters, my mother, and Batman are right - crime does not pay. > > Regards, > Shodan I don’t think so. From the [Bureau of Engraving and Printing](http://www.moneyfactory.com/section.cfm/8/39) > [@](#): > > Under regulations issued by the Department of the Treasury, mutilated United States currency may be exchanged at face value if more than 50% of a note identifiable as United States currency is present. Of course, they may be curious as to why the four corners are cut off, but legally, it’s still a twenty dollar bill. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/97 "2004-03-12T06:01:38Z")
> [@Garfield226](#): > > IOf course, they may be curious as to why the four corners are cut off, but legally, it’s still a twenty dollar bill. Psssst. They don’t cut all four corners off one $20 biil, they cut a different corner from four different ones. ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/98 "2004-03-12T06:46:31Z")
> [@AudreyK](#): > > If I had a million BNL references, I’d buy your love. Yes, but what would you buy poor Alice, who was overheard asking blue-vested WalMart employees where she could find Kraft Dinner? Of course, being in Georgia, she couldn’t find any Kraft Dinner, and she was sorely displeased. Moments later, she was being clapped into handcuffs. Poor Alice. Done in by boxed mac and cheese. She’s got the Blues, indeed. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/99 "2004-03-12T07:19:40Z")
> [@TeaElle](#): > > Yes, but what would you buy poor Alice, who was overheard asking blue-vested WalMart employees where she could find Kraft Dinner? Of course, being in Georgia, she couldn’t find any Kraft Dinner, and she was sorely displeased. Okay, I must ask: Huh? ---
**Author:** ![Murcielago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/da6949/32.png) [@Murcielago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Murcielago)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2004, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510/100 "2004-03-12T09:29:26Z")
Well, now she has [an explaination](http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/metro/0304/11fakebill.html). Evidently it was a misunderstanding, or kind of like a joke…or something. I always did wonder if Butt-Head had a sister. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-rich-im-rich-im-retarded-im-retarded/233510.md?page=6)