# I'm running for mayor of San Francisco and I need pointers

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852>\
**Category:** Politics & Elections\
**Created:** [March 13, 2013, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852 "2013-03-13T20:28:51Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/41 "2013-03-16T17:52:12Z")

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He wrote these responses on his “Guestbook” page:

> [@](#):
>
> ```
> On my first day on the job 1. I will set-up indoor shelters for the homeless and in 7 days you will not see one person sleeping on the streets of our city. 2. I will put women with kids in separate shelters until the San Francisco housing Authority finds homes for them and their kids. 3. No child over the age of 19 should be living with their mother in San Francisco housing unless they are in college or about to ship-out to the military or an organization like the Peace Corp. We all know who are doing the car break-ins and the drive by shootings in our churches. This it is going to have to STOP. If your mother won't put you out of the house then we will kick all of you out of City Housing, the only men that should be living in low income housing are the retired or low income workers. That's right ow-income WORKERS. Not the capable men holding signs, "I will work for food", year after year. If you can't find a job in the city of San Francisco then it's probably time for you to move on someplace else. There are 48 other states and 20,000 cities out there so, lets adopt the old west slogan, "GO WEST YOUNG MAN, GO WEST", "enough is enough". We are not going to let the bums up-set or be threats to our tourists anymore. I don't have a problem with street performers, but the beggars got to get on the Union Pacific train and head to another city in the Mid- west where they are begging for workers on farms and ranches I will stop the bums that suck the life out of our CITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lastly, I don't want the idea of shutting down mini lines and raising bus fares. . . lets put every bus the city has out on the streets and lower the fare to 50 cents for everybody old and young. And no more free transfers... for 50 cents a ride u won't need a free transfer, right? VOTE HAROLD MILLER FOR SAN FRANCISCO MAYOR ON 2011.
> 
> ```

and

> [@](#):
>
> ```
> AS MAYOR I WILL LET THE BARS STAY OPEN UNTILL 4:A.M. AND ANY COP THAT TRYS TO STOP ANY HOUSE OR BAR PARTY WILL BE FIRED, I WANT SAN FRANCISCO TO BE A PARTY FUN TOWN AGAIN, I AM SICK AND TIRED OF THE BORED OF SUPERVIORS STOPPING PEOPLE FROM HAVING A GOOD TIME WHILE THEY RUN OFF AND CASH THIER $100,000.00 PAY CHECKS, IN VEGAS. BUT I NEED YOUR HELP SAN FRANCISCO, SO WRITE MILLER ON YOUR BALLET IN NOV 2011
> 
> ```

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**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/42 "2013-03-16T21:07:06Z")

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This seems to be the West Coast version of the Rent is Too Damn High Party

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**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\
**Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/43 "2013-03-16T21:58:53Z")

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> [@Marley23](#):
>
> **Moderating**
> 
> . . . . . . So at least for now I will it.

So who thinks the mods here have a God complex?

🙂

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**Author:** ![Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunzio_Tavulari)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/44 "2013-03-17T00:36:48Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> lets adopt the old west slogan, “GO WEST YOUNG MAN, GO WEST”

Aside from Fort Bragg, there isn’t a whole lot of WEST to go to. I think even Vancouver, Portland and Seattle are East of San Francisco. Head up the 101 and hope that something turns up by the time you make Eureka.

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**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/45 "2013-03-17T00:57:29Z")

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> [@mbetter](#):
>
> Has there ever been an elected official with the name “Elect” before?

Well, there was Governor None Oscar Twitchell Above.

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**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\
**Post date:** [March 17, 2013, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/46 "2013-03-17T03:45:18Z")

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I would try to find Jello Biafra and reach out to him for advice. Jello was the singer for the Dead Kennedy’s and made a run for SF Mayor in 1979. IIRC Diane Fienstein won that round and his political slogan was “there’s always room for Jello”. Just search on “jello Biafra SF mayor” and you’ll find a ton of stuff

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**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\
**Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/47 "2013-03-20T19:23:45Z")

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> [@Boyo\_Jim](#):
>
> I cannot support a bridge half way to everywhere. I prefer a bridge half way to nowhere – it should be much cheaper.

The problem is, before you build a bridge to nowhere, you have to build a bridge halfway to nowhere. And before you can do THAT, you have to build a bridge a quarter of the way to nowhere, and before THAT, a bridge an eighth of the way to nowhere, and so on.

It’s therefore impossible to build a bridge to nowhere.

Any bridge must be built to somewhere. QED.

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**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\
**Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/48 "2013-03-20T19:30:21Z")

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> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#):
>
> The problem is, before you build a bridge to nowhere, you have to build a bridge halfway to nowhere. And before you can do THAT, you have to build a bridge a quarter of the way to nowhere, and before THAT, a bridge an eighth of the way to nowhere, and so on.
> 
> It’s therefore impossible to build a bridge to nowhere.
> 
> Any bridge must be built to somewhere. QED.

Nonsense! All you need is a circular bridge, with one entrance and one exit at the same point. For government work, that’s close enough.

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**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\
**Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/49 "2013-03-20T19:44:16Z")

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On second thought, when I said, “I prefer a bridge half way to nowhere”, I was incorrect. My circular bridge will go all the way to nowhere, not half way. Still, it’s gotta be cheaper than a bridge half way to everywhere.

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/50 "2013-03-20T19:45:56Z")

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Mayor Miller? Soldier, Spy.

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**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\
**Post date:** [March 20, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/51 "2013-03-20T19:57:14Z")

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> [@Elect\_Harold\_Miller\_Mayor\_S.F](#):
>
> I’m running for mayor of San Francisco and I need pointers,

[Here you go, best of luck.](http://www.amazon.com/pointer-laser-pointers/b?ie=UTF8&node=229183)

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**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2013, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/52 "2013-03-24T06:59:08Z")

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clicking on the link triggered a warning on my computer about a program trying to run on it from that site.

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**Author:** ![Jamie\_Gillis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@Jamie\_Gillis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamie_Gillis)\
**Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/53 "2013-05-24T08:10:07Z")

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As a native San Franciscan I say:

Change the name of Caesar Chavez Street back to Army Street.

Get rid of anything named after Harvey Milk - he was insignificant despite what liberals like to believe.

End the sanctuary city BS.

Issue an official apology for the Kamala Harris era. Actively campaign for her recall as state AG. Do whatever necessary to end her political career.

Hire a DA who will go for the death penalty for gang members (see Kamala Harris era).

Stop hiring Muni drivers based on race/gender/sexual preference.

Open the Golden Gate Bridge walkways 24/7. It’s pointless to shut them down after dark.

Stop letting kids “tag” Muni busses. Make them do some time in the juvie.

Admit that the Newsom administration lost the 49ers to Santa Clara and that Newsome was pretty much a drug/sex addict and an ineffective mayor (with a really bad haircut).

Allow all fireworks to be legal on July 4th.

Give the Castro back to the Italians and Irish. Relocate the gay neighborhood to Hunter’s Point.

Make English San Francisco’s official language.

Do whatever is necessary to end San Francisco’s reputation as the world’s gayest city. We can still be “gay friendly” but do we really want to be the gay capital of the world?

More pot clubs. More Irish bars.

In addition to the Gay Freedom Day Parade, add a parade for white heterosexuals.

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**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\
**Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/54 "2013-05-24T13:25:28Z")

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You should probably just come out of the closet.

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**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\
**Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/55 "2013-05-24T14:28:28Z")

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> [@Czarcasm](#):
>
> He wrote these responses on his “Guestbook” page:
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > ```
> > There are 48 other states and 20,000 cities out there so, lets adopt the old west slogan, "GO WEST YOUNG MAN, GO WEST", "enough is enough".
> > 
> > ```
> 
> Fascinating. I wonder which state he failed to consider.

And as for destinations, if you have to go west from San Francisco (while staying in one of those other 48 states) your options are pretty limited.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\
**Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/56 "2013-05-24T14:53:24Z")

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[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:55, topic:652852”]

Fascinating. I wonder which state he failed to consider.

And as for destinations, if you have to go west from San Francisco (while staying in one of those other 48 states) your options are pretty limited.  
[/QUOTE]  
Just a reminder that it wasn’t _my_ quote-it was his. Also there are many options for  
“Going West”-freestyle, back stroke, dog paddle, breast stroke, butterfly etc.

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**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\
**Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/57 "2013-05-24T15:10:25Z")

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I know it wasn’t your quote. I just got to lazy to build the nested quotes in my reply. Sorry about that.

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**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\
**Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/58 "2013-05-24T15:16:15Z")

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> [@Jamie\_Gillis](#):
>
> Do whatever is necessary to end San Francisco’s reputation as the world’s gayest city. We can still be “gay friendly” but do we really want to be the gay capital of the world?

It’s not as if you’ve got anything else, is it?

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**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\
**Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/59 "2013-05-24T15:17:53Z")

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[quote=“Gary “Wombat” Robson, post:57, topic:652852”]

I know it wasn’t your quote. I just got to lazy to build the nested quotes in my reply. Sorry about that.  
[/QUOTE]

I edited your post to add the text **Czarcasm** was quoting. That should take care of it.

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [May 24, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-running-for-mayor-of-san-francisco-and-i-need-pointers/652852/60 "2013-05-24T19:02:24Z")

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> [@Jamie\_Gillis](#):
>
> Give the Castro back to the Italians and Irish. Relocate the gay neighborhood to Hunter’s Point.

That was a whole mess of bad ideas, but this one really sticks out. How do you intend to accomplish this, exactly? The Castro is a gay neighborhood because a significant percentage of the population there - both residents and business owners - are gay. How do you “fix” that? Confiscate people’s homes? Revoke their business licenses?

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