# I'm sad. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 6, 2006, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227 "2006-02-06T13:33:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/1 "2006-02-06T13:33:24Z")
After another wonderful weekend together, my boyfriend is on his way home again. It’s not fair that I only get to see him for a couple of days every couple of months. The goodbyes get tougher each time. Long distance relationships _suck_. ☹ This is going to be a very long day. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/2 "2006-02-06T14:30:46Z")
I waved my fiance off this morning. I agree. The long distance thing sucks. It doesn’t bother me as much as it used to though. I guess I just got used to it or something. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/3 "2006-02-06T15:18:54Z")
I was in a long distance relationship a few years back; it sucked. Now I refuse to date anyone that I can’t get to by public transit. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/4 "2006-02-06T16:38:20Z")
I did the long distance thing for 6 months - Virginia to California. It sucked. In July I moved to CA to be with him. But I have been back in VA since January for work, and it sucks, I miss him so much. But the good news is that I am buying my plane ticket back today for the last weekend in February! It’s going to be a really long 3 weeks ☹ My question for you Antigen is, why are you guys long distance? Can’t one of you move to be with the other? I was very lucky in that I was able to keep my job and just telecommute from CA. But even if I didn’t do that, I would have busted my butt to find a job there. (I was the one who had to move because he is in the military and must be where Uncle Sam tells him to be.) ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/5 "2006-02-06T16:44:00Z")
> [@nyctea scandiaca](#): > > My question for you Antigen is, why are you guys long distance? Can’t one of you move to be with the other? Well, we’re working on that. Unfortunately, it’s not just a question of changing states… I’m in Montreal, he’s in Maryland. I’m finishing up a laboratory program in school up here and I’ll be taking the American certification exam and looking for work in a hospital in his area. But it’s a very long complicated process, getting a job in another country, getting visas… and it won’t happen till after I graduate in June. Moving to another country is a hell of a lot of work. We’ve made this work for 8 months so far… and we’re sure we can make it till I can get down there and be closer to him… it’s just very very hard. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/6 "2006-02-06T16:50:46Z")
{{{{{ **Antigen** }}}}} {{{{{ **AngelicGemma** }}}}} Long Distance Relationships suck bigtime. I hope,\*\* Antigen\*\*, that you and your sweetie can hold out until you can be together on a more permanent basis, and that in the meantime at least you can use the memories of the good times to help you withstand the separation. Hold on to why you love him and what makes him worth the heartbreak of being apart and you’ll feel better, promise. **AngelicGemma** - perhaps it’s easier because you’ve got something tangible to hold on to. I’m not sure if you’ve set a date or started the wedding plans, but even if you haven’t, the mere fact that you’re engaged and thus will one day be married and living together, might be helping. I wish you all the best for those plans! I did the LDR thing for 2 years and it was not something I would have been able to do if my guy hadn’t absolutely been worth it. It’s a tough way to live, but if you can survive that and still want to be together then you know you’ve got something special that is worth hanging onto. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/7 "2006-02-06T16:53:45Z")
How did you guys meet? I understand the difficulty of the problem of being from different countries. My cousin (and best friend) went through the same thing. About two years ago, she ment a guy from England and they fell in love. When they met, he was here on an internship that was to be over in just 3 weeks. So he had to go home, and they spent the past two years doing the long distance thing. They were both still in school, and he graduated last summer. He thought he was going to get hired by this one company who would sponsor his visa but it fell through at the last minute. She was devastated. She couldn’t go there because she was still in school. They thought about getting married, but decided against it. Well finally, she just graduated and managed to get a 6-month visa and is heading over there in a few days to live with him. Although they are not sure what they will do after 6 months if she cannot get a permanent work visa. In fact, she doesn’t even have a job yet, so hopefully she can find something! Luckily my long distance relationship wasn’t all that bad because we were able to get cheap tickets most of the time through JetBlue ($99 each way, non-stop!) But for my cousin and her boyfriend to visit, it was at least $400, if not more. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/8 "2006-02-06T17:44:53Z")
> [@irishgirl](#): > > Hold on to why you love him and what makes him worth the heartbreak of being apart and you’ll feel better, promise. Oh, he’s worth the effort. I wouldn’t be putting myself through this sort of thing if I didn’t feel that it was what I had to do because he’s just the absolute best guy in the world. And yeah, the good times do make up for the times when I can’t be with him, but often I just wish we could be like any other couple and go to a movie whenever we feel like it. Oh, and thanks for the hug. 🙂 **nyctea** , we met online and talked for a few months before we met in person. It was one of those “clicking instantly” sort of things and we both knew that we didn’t really have much choice but to do the long distance thing till I could finish school. Flights are about $350 round trip for me, and I can usually only spend a weekend with him because of classes that I can’t miss. It’s expensive, but I can’t imagine **not** doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/9 "2006-02-06T22:20:32Z")
Are any of the posters in this thread male? Just wondering, because it seems that women spend about ten times asmuch time and effort worrying about relationship issues. The men just go off and do their thing. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/10 "2006-02-06T22:25:32Z")
i had the long distance thing over the summer in between semesters. that sucksd because of all the dead time i could have been spending with her. but she ended up breaking my heart after i committed to staying in the city for the following summer. such is life, though. i wouldn’t mess with a long distance thing again. sex just isn’t as frequent. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/11 "2006-02-07T01:09:36Z")
Ugh. I’m doing the long distance thing right now, and I hate this! I’ll see her this weekend, though, which will be very nice. We’ll be together again for a couple months starting in May, so I’m just holding out 'til then. > [@bluethree](#): > > Are any of the posters in this thread male? Just wondering, because it seems that women spend about ten times as much time and effort worrying about relationship issues. The men just go off and do their thing. Me. But I’d tend to agree that women do spend more time worrying about these issues. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/12 "2006-02-07T01:14:45Z")
> [@appleciders](#): > > But I’d tend to agree that women do spend more time worrying about these issues. Worrying? Who’s worrying? I’m _whining_! ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/13 "2006-02-08T12:42:25Z")
> [@irishgirl](#): > > **AngelicGemma** - perhaps it’s easier because you’ve got something tangible to hold on to. I’m not sure if you’ve set a date or started the wedding plans, but even if you haven’t, the mere fact that you’re engaged and thus will one day be married and living together, might be helping. I wish you all the best for those plans! Thanks. 🙂 I finish university this summer, so we are moving in together then. I think you’re right, having plans help. As for the wedding, well we know when and where we’d _like_ to get married. It’s just a case of deciding if we’re prepared to spend that amount of money. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![taxi78cab](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47c2d/32.png) [@taxi78cab](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taxi78cab)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/14 "2006-02-08T16:29:47Z")
Another LDR doper here. It does suck. But light at the end of the tunnel helps - \*\*KeithT \*\*and I _should_ be moving in together by this summer. If I can find a job in Minneapolis! And then we’re getting married in December. So the planning and knowing that the tough part is almost over helps. And the $49 (one way) plane tickets don’t hurt! ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/15 "2006-02-08T22:12:29Z")
> [@taxi78cab](#): > > And the $49 (one way) plane tickets don’t hurt! :eek: Wow. I’m jealous. ---
**Author:** ![toadspittle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c0e974/32.png) [@toadspittle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toadspittle)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/16 "2006-02-08T23:31:11Z")
Did the LDR thing for 4 years. It really sucked. But we’ve now been together for 12 years, married for 6+. ---
**Author:** ![toadspittle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c0e974/32.png) [@toadspittle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toadspittle)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/17 "2006-02-08T23:32:31Z")
I’m a male, BTW. ---
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sad/343227/18 "2006-02-08T23:34:21Z")
Hey, I see Hardship(T.M.) every day, and we have a fight… every day. Sometimes I wish I had a long distance relationship. Then again, I am male, so it’s in my nature to make light of such things. i’d crack up if I didnt see her everyday. ☹