# I'm scared, my Dad is sick, & so am I. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 8, 2002, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812 "2002-11-08T01:39:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/1 "2002-11-08T01:39:38Z")
My niece’s birth was (and is) such a happy time. I should have realized things would start going sour fast. Dad had a heart murmur yesterday, & didn’t tell anybody until this afternoon! :eek: :smack: He’s had **several** heart bypass operations in the past. I’m freaking here. He’s going to his Doctor tomorrow morning, & tests Monday. In the meantime, he’s drving around, & continuing his business, brokering dental practices. I didn’t know about any of this until this evening. I’m freaking here. ☹ ☹ ☹ I’m also sick. Back, neck & chest pains, chest congestion, mucus too. My car is in the shop, so a ride to the Doc is gonna be hard to arrange. I’ve got nobody to talk to about this. I can’t confide in Mom, 'cause her mouth runs like jelly, & if _anything_ gets back to Dad, he could get upset, & he can’y afford that right now. I just needed to vent. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/2 "2002-11-08T02:08:13Z")
I’m gonna be brief because I’m not very good at these things but would it be possible to just sit your Dad down and tell him that you’re worried about him and that the worrying has made you sick as well? ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/3 "2002-11-08T02:14:18Z")
**Bosda** - I’m in Smyrna. If you need a lift to the doctor. just post here. I’m at work tomorrow, but I can take you on Saturday, if you like. StG ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/4 "2002-11-08T07:25:50Z")
{{{{{{{{Bosda}}}}}}} Prayers are going up for your Dad, and for you too my dear. Now you go to bed with some nice chicken soup and get some rest ! I can’t have one of my favorite mens sick ! ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/5 "2002-11-08T12:07:28Z")
I am sorry to hear about your father. I do hope that things go well for him. Don’t let yourself worry about it, there’s nothing you can do. Just let him know you love him. Drink plenty of orange juice, that’s good for most of what ails you. Take care. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/6 "2002-11-08T13:03:01Z")
**Bosda** I agree with **ultress**. Let your father know you love him and care about him. Now, get in bed, drink plenty of liquids, get lots of rest. If you’re not feeling better in a day or two go to the doctor. IANA doctor but we gotta get you feeling better. After all, you got a niece to spoil. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/7 "2002-11-08T14:20:30Z")
**StGermain** –got a ride for today. Many thanks for your kindness, though. \*\* swampbear, ultress, lieu\*\*—my Dad is not that kind of guy. Besides, if he & I try to have a heart-to-heart, he gets upset. Staying home from work today. No sleep. Or rather, short uneasy naps of 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours long, with 15-20 minutes of worried wakefulness inbetween. Why no insomnia smiley? ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/8 "2002-11-08T14:37:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by StGermain \* > \*\ ***Bosda** - I’m in Smyrna. If you need a lift to the doctor. just post here. I’m at work tomorrow, but I can take you on Saturday, if you like. > > StG \*\* That’s the nicest thing I’ve read this morning. You are a good person St. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/9 "2002-11-08T14:40:59Z")
Sending warm thoughts your way Bosda ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/10 "2002-11-08T15:44:33Z")
**Khadaji** - Thanks for your kind words. It’s really no big deal, though. I’m always glad to help others when I can StG ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/11 "2002-11-08T20:14:05Z")
It may or may not have been a murmur. It might be a problem caused by his diabetes (sp?). I’ve got bronchitis. Doc also prescribed some zoloft for the stress, antibiotics, & sleepnig pills. PS–my car got fixed, & it only cost $90. Suprisingly cheap. ---
**Author:** ![Cyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@Cyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyn)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/12 "2002-11-08T20:43:18Z")
If you can’t have a heart-to-heart with your Dad, perhaps you can send him a card with a note telling him how you feel. He can read it at his own pace and maybe absorb some of what you’re going through. I have to have a medium channel my feelings for my Dad—Mom. The only time he ever expressed frustration/anger/pain to me (over my seeking profesional help and he was upset _he_ couldn’t make me better), he promptly hid in the den and then in the bathroom when I tried to talk to him. I’m glad you’re getting better, you and your car. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/13 "2002-11-08T22:07:39Z")
**Bosda** - I just got off the phone with my mother. She had open heart surgery last year, a triple bypass and repair of on valve and replacement of one other. The repaired valve is leaking and so she’s going to have to have open-heart surgery again. StG ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/14 "2002-11-08T23:57:22Z")
one hand washes the other, dude. If you need help, I’m only an e-mail away. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/15 "2002-11-09T00:06:17Z")
**Bosda** , my thoughts have been with you since I saw this thread. I also understand about not being able to have a heart-to-heart with your Dad – mine’s the same way. I’m in my mid-30’s and I still don’t have good advice. One note of caution with the Zoloft. As I posted here two weeks ago, I tried it and got particularly nasty nausea. It showed up within about 4 hours of taking the first dose, so at least you won’t have to wait long if you get it, and I am a particularly odd duck. Take care, CJ {{{{Bosda and family}}}} ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/16 "2002-11-09T01:42:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by StGermain \* > \*\ ***Bosda** - I just got off the phone with my mother. She had open heart surgery last year, a triple bypass and repair of on valve and replacement of one other. The repaired valve is leaking and so she’s going to have to have open-heart surgery again. > > StG \*\* Sending warm thoughts your way St. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/17 "2002-11-09T04:09:40Z")
Thanks, **Bosda, Khadaji** - My mother’s a tough bird. She’s 71. In the last 6 years she’s had a mastectomy, an aorta replacement and the first heart surgery. Hopefully she’ll come through this fine. StG ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2002, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/18 "2002-11-11T21:02:28Z")
Dad has some arthymmia. Not serious enough for the hospital. He’s going to the cardiologist Tuesday afternoon. It can probably be taken care of with medication. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2002, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/19 "2002-11-12T02:38:53Z")
Sending healing thoughts and prayers to both of you, **Bosda** and **StG**. Hope you (Bosda) and both your loved ones get better quick like. Nothing is scarier than facing the illness of someone you love. MUCH scarier than facing your OWN illness. IMHO, anyway. ((((Bosda and StG)))) Much Love, Cheri ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2002, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812/20 "2002-11-13T02:17:46Z")
It _is_ arythmmia. His cardiologist is going to try medication to control it first, & if that doesn’t work, a non-pacemaker implant might be surgically implanted. All is better than I feared, & not as good as I hoped. The last few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-my-dad-is-sick-so-am-i/135812.md?page=2)