# I'm scared to death to tell my boss.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 19, 2004, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887 "2004-04-19T20:48:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/1 "2004-04-19T20:48:00Z")
That I am leaving my two weeks notice today. I got another job that has better pay prospects. I love my job, but it is tedious and stressful (somehow) at the same time. Combine that with the fact that I don’t get paid very much. I can’t figure out why I am so full of anxiety about it. I am literally shaking and I have to be at work in 15 minutes. Well, Off I GO!! I’ll post an update when I get back. What have you been scared to tell your boss? ---
**Author:** ![LVgeogeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b19c9b/32.png) [@LVgeogeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LVgeogeek)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/2 "2004-04-19T21:08:24Z")
I feel for ya. I am basically going through the same thing right now, but I have not had the interview yet. That’s tomorrow. But I have to lie to take the day off to go to the interview. But If they offer me the job, I am outta here (current job) in two weeks. Don’t be scared about telling your boss that you are leaving. Thank them for the opportunity to work there say some other nice stuff, but you have found a job that is better suited to your needs/education etc… If your boss is cool, he/she will most likely understand. You can also look at it this way, they wouldn’t feel nervous telling you that they are cutting you loose in two weeks. :rolleyes: Best of luck at your new job ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Kobayashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/3 "2004-04-19T21:10:02Z")
[http://www.discoverypersonnel.com/tips/resign.html](http://www.discoverypersonnel.com/tips/resign.html) [http://www.debtfreebenefits.com/Access/Earnings/Article33.01.html](http://www.debtfreebenefits.com/Access/Earnings/Article33.01.html) Those two hopefully might prove useful. 🙂 Good luck with your new job. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/4 "2004-04-19T21:38:31Z")
> [@](#): > > What have you been scared to tell your boss? Just that our deposit was $175 short. :eek: Turns out he did it. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2004, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/5 "2004-04-19T23:43:10Z")
I’ve been in the same situation, **torie** , and as weird as it is, I have dreaded giving notice to a boss, too. This is definitely a “rip the bandaid off” problem - last time I resigned, I was shaking like a leaf too, but I just girded my loins and went in and said, “I have to give my two weeks’ notice.” and handed over the resignation letter. I hope I have to do the same thing this week; I’m on a six-month contract with a temp agency, but I’m interviewing for a permanent job on Wednesday. Temp agencies looooove it when you call and quit a week after taking a job. 😃 (But I have no remorse for them - they can and have fired me with no notice when it suits them.) ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/6 "2004-04-20T01:10:20Z")
> [@](#): > > Dear (Boss), > > The purpose of this letter is to inform you of my intent to voluntarily terminate my employment with (company name), effective (date at least two weeks after the date on this letter). > > I have very much enjoyed my tenure with (name of company) in the (department name) department, and feel that I have grown a great deal, and learned much during my tenure with this company. > > Should you have any questions or concerns, please contact me at (name of department in which I work, NOT my home number or address) at your convenience. > > ---------------------------------------------------------Sincerely, > ---------------------------------------------------------Master Wang-Ka > > CC: (at least three other reasonably important people in the company who would testify to receiving copies of this letter if the boss decided to be a jackass about it; usually my immediate supervisor, his boss, his boss’s boss, and someone in the main office, usually Personnel.) This is a form letter I’ve used to quit jobs since I was twenty. Works every time, and only once has any boss ever given me a hard time about it, and that was to offer me a raise if I’d stay. It’s upbeat, positive, and provides hard evidence that you aren’t about to sue the company or be a jerk in some way or manner, and they will promptly stick it in your personnel file and forget about it. No muss, no fuss… ---
**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/7 "2004-04-20T13:13:46Z")
A little over three years ago I went through the same thing when I had to leave a job for the one I am working in now, and inform the management of my forthcoming termination. I was well-established and everyone liked the work I did, and I had a good rapport with just about everyone. I rehearsed my approach over and over. In the meantime I had told a couple fellow co-workers. Inevitably, word of my departure made it out to the manager, who then came up to me and told me he heard I was leaving. I knew he’d be disappointed to hear of my departure, but he understood my reasons to move on (mainly, much better pay). It can be tough, I know. Please report back to us and let us know how it goes. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/8 "2004-04-20T13:17:38Z")
> [@torie](#): > > What have you been scared to tell your boss? Good luck and congrats on the new job! We have a new boss coming in on Thursday, and I’m not “scared,” but I want to have a one-on-one with her and tell her we desperately need a traffic manager at this magazine, that would clear up 90% of our delays and screw-ups. I guess her reaction will clue me in on what kind of boss and coworker she’s going to be . . . ---
**Author:** ![the\_Lady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@the\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Lady)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/9 "2004-04-20T13:28:18Z")
Giving notice is always hard in a situation where you like/respect your boss. I had a very difficult time a couple of years ago. I really liked my immediate boss, just not the big boss, or the company (they had taken over my company) I was really worried about what she would say, and I felt bad about her having to fill my position. Fortunately, there was a consultant who stepped right in, and the guilt faded a little. Of course, I’ve also given notice by saying “Hi. Give me my check. Thanks.” Hope it went well - and good luck with the new job. ---
**Author:** ![Mooney252](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7c8e57/32.png) [@Mooney252](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooney252)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/10 "2004-04-20T13:32:19Z")
In 35+ years of being in business, what have I seen managers confronted with a departing employee do? - kick them out immediately when given the courtesy of 2 weeks notice - ignore them and take away all responsibility - most often: nothing Though employee loyalty is commendable, most managers would tell you that it has no business value unless you can get someone to work for below-market wages. In fact, I know the successful owner of a business who several years ago decided to get rid of all employees who were “key to the business.” He ended up letting his MIS director leave for a better position. I think the keys to his decision were: - I have to set the priorities here - I don’t want the company to become unnecessarily dominated by IT because we’re a retail operation I didn’t understand it. But everything goes in business. Best regards, Mooney252 ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/11 "2004-04-20T14:45:28Z")
I am afraid that I’ll have to do it, too, and quite soon. A place one block away from my current job is hiring, with better pay and commission. I talked to one of the sales associates, and she says I’m sure to be hired. I want the job, but it’s going to upset me a lot to tell my old boss if I get it. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/12 "2004-04-20T15:24:55Z")
Several years ago I gave notice to a managing editor at a newspaper I hated. I gave the notice during a staff meeting as we were planning a special section. I told them I would finish the special section stories, which weren’t due for four weeks yet, within my two weeks notice but that would mean I couldn’t do my regular daily articles. The ME was agreeable to that stipulation. As we were leaving the meeting the city editor, whom I hated with a passion, started mouthing off about how it was shitty that I was leaving them in a pinch and that I was an asshole for doing it. I reminded him that Georgia was an “At-Will” state and my two-weeks notice was a courtesy, threw my notepad on my desk, picked up my coffee mug and left. It felt great. ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/13 "2004-04-20T15:55:15Z")
I told her. It went well, she understood. She also offered me a 50 cent an hour raise to stay. So now I am waiting to see if that raise is approved. I might stay with a raise, I might not. ☹ Indecision sucks. But at least my boss understands. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/14 "2004-04-20T16:02:04Z")
> [@torie](#): > > I told her. > > It went well, she understood. She also offered me a 50 cent an hour raise to stay. > > So now I am waiting to see if that raise is approved. I might stay with a raise, I might not. ☹ To take a raise to stay when you’ve given notice is a big mistake. It tells the boss that you can be bought. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/15 "2004-04-20T17:01:07Z")
> [@vunderbob](#): > > To take a raise to stay when you’ve given notice is a big mistake. It tells the boss that you can be bought. I emphatically disagree that it’s a mistake. Of course we can all be bought. She’s leaving because she can be bought. The old boss thinks she worth paying to keep. That’s the game we all play. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/16 "2004-04-20T18:46:26Z")
Definitely agree that it’s a mistake to stay. And you’re considering staying for an extra **50 cents an hour**? Sorry, but you really ought to look at yourself in your mind’s mirror. A major personal quality is integrity. You’ve agreed to go and work for the other place; if you go back on your word, they’ll walk all over you and you’ll be in the firing line. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/17 "2004-04-20T19:00:44Z")
So, why were you looking? Is this a “drop out of the sky” opportunity? A “I’ve heard they pay more down the street” type thing? Or a “I have to get out of this dysfuncitonal environment?” move. Taking your boss up on a $.50 raise for number one is good - especially if you gave notice with the whole “I wasn’t looking, but they found me and want to pay me more money.” #2 is less good - but depending on your boss and yourself, acceptible. And if you were leaving due to #3, no amount of money should convince you to stay. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/18 "2004-04-20T19:50:05Z")
> [@torie](#): > > I told her. > > It went well, she understood. She also offered me a 50 cent an hour raise to stay. > > So now I am waiting to see if that raise is approved. I might stay with a raise, I might not. ☹ > Indecision sucks. But at least my boss understands. You were leaving because of better pay prospects and because your current job is tedious and stressful. Remember that. It’s no shame to quit a job for a better one. And I hardly think a 50 cent an hour raise is worth it, especially if you’ve accepted the other job. Move on. You’re just fearful of a change. We all are, to some extent. But remember why you were looking for a new job in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/19 "2004-04-20T20:52:44Z")
> [@torie](#): > > I told her. > > It went well, she understood. She also offered me a 50 cent an hour raise to stay. > > So now I am waiting to see if that raise is approved. I might stay with a raise, I might not. ☹ > Indecision sucks. But at least my boss understands. When I was manager of a software group 2 jobs back, the company policy was to always attempt to keep a person who’d resigned with raises, etc. However, it was also company policy that if the person stayed to replace him/her within a few months - the idea being that if they wanted to leave in the first place, they’d probably try to leave again. Yes, it totally sucked. Knowing the policy, I never tried too hard to keep anyone who resigned, so I wouldn’t have to fire them 3 months later. Do what’s right for you. Your manager and the company will survive without you. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2004, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887/20 "2004-04-20T23:27:39Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > When I was manager of a software group 2 jobs back, the company policy was to always attempt to keep a person who’d resigned with raises, etc. However, it was also company policy that if the person stayed to replace him/her within a few months - the idea being that if they wanted to leave in the first place, they’d probably try to leave again. This practice is more common than you think, hence my warning. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-scared-to-death-to-tell-my-boss/240887.md?page=2)