# I'm screwed (bad living situation) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 16, 2014, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939 "2014-06-16T21:46:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/41 "2014-06-18T18:55:53Z")
> [@humbled](#): > > My girlfriend hates me for doing this, but I sent a text to the landlady telling her that his sons friend got arrested on her property and to not let it happen again. I’m prepared to call the cops if retaliation occurs…This sucks.I don’t feel safe. It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind to break the lease and move out, so I would begin looking for a new place right away, and move at your earliest opportunity. Yes, it might result in a lawsuit for lost rent (or, it might mean that the landlord keeps whatever security deposit you gave her), but your concerns are sincere enough that I wouldn’t let that dissuade you - you need to feel safe where you live, and you obviously don’t (rightly or wrongly), so I wouldn’t let the prospect of some money keep you in the situation. If it does come to a lawsuit, you _may_ even have a defense of constructive eviction (that is, the landlady made the conditions so bad that you had to move out); I don’t think the facts as you’ve described them rise to that level, but it is still a point of contention that might enable you to settle up with the landlady without further legal wrangling. In fact, that’s what I’d do: move out right away, then send the landlady a letter that explains that you moved out because her other tenant (a/k/a, her son) had made you very uncomfortable, there was police activity that made you feel unsafe, and that you had to move out for your own peace of mind. Make a demand for a return of a deposit if you so choose, but I would be content to just part ways without further financial obligation. By sending the letter, you’re implying that you would defend your actions with tales of illicit activity should you be forced to do so. (Then again, if it were me…I wouldn’t be bothered by a loser living above me, even if he was dealing drugs [that’s wrong of me to say: I’d probably be downright 😃 if a drug dealer were that close and convenient]. As noted upthread, drug dealers tend to want to keep the peace. If there were cops making arrests, I wouldn’t be threatened unless I was worried about being arrested for my own conduct. As long as he was pleasant when we passed each other in the common areas (and as long as I had secure access to my place), I wouldn’t be bothered.) ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/42 "2014-06-18T19:11:04Z")
**OP** , where have you ever lived where you _have_ felt safe? I understand needing to feel safe in your own home but I suspect that you have a fear of the world-at-large and wherever you go, there will be shady “felons” (wtf?!) lurking around every corner. (You said that whenever the mom isnt home, the son has “felon friends coming and going”. How in the fucking world do you know the criminal histories of theze people? Just a feeling you have?) ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/43 "2014-06-18T19:18:19Z")
Where do you live that it’s so difficult to find a place that isn’t in the middle of drug lord territory - Colombia? ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/44 "2014-06-18T19:23:34Z")
What’s going to happen though if the said drug dealer in your house decides to stash some money, drugs, or guns down somewhere in your basement apartment when your not there and the cops raid it? Can you say “it’s not mine”? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/45 "2014-06-18T19:23:53Z")
> [@humbled](#): > > Well, the problem is getting worse. I don’t know if I mentioned that two weeks ago, 3 undercover cops pulled up to the house and arrested his friend who was with him. They were also searching HIS (landlords sons) vehicles. > > He’s obviously dealing and he’s being obvious about it. Sketchy, felon friends are coming and going when mommy isn’t home. My girlfriend hates me for doing this, but I sent a text to the landlady telling her that his sons friend got arrested on her property and to not let it happen again. I’m prepared to call the cops if retaliation occurs. > > If any retaliation happens, I am prepared to take them to court. I’m not putting up with this again. There were raids at all the apartment complexes we rented at and they had good reviews online and zero crime in the area. You can’t trust anything you read. We figured renting in an expensive area would allow us to escape from it. Nope. Same shit. > > This sucks.I don’t feel safe. There’s so much wrong with this post. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/46 "2014-06-18T19:36:09Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > What’s going to happen though if the said drug dealer in your house decides to stash some money, drugs, or guns down somewhere in your basement apartment when your not there and the cops raid it? Can you say “it’s not mine”? Who in their right mind would do that?! Guns, drugs, and money have obvious value: why in the world would somebody hide those things in somebody else’s home, where they can be discovered, utilized, or turned over to the authorities? I’ve personally never heard of burglars who break into homes only to leave stuff (well, there is Santa…) Much like the OP, it sounds like your letting your imagination run wild. But, to answer your query: Yes, you can say those things aren’t yours. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/47 "2014-06-18T19:39:31Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > Who in their right mind would do that?! Guns, drugs, and money have obvious value: why in the world would somebody hide those things in somebody else’s home, where they can be discovered, utilized, or turned over to the authorities? I’ve personally never heard of burglars who break into homes only to leave stuff (well, there is Santa…) > > Much like the OP, it sounds like your letting your imagination run wild. But, to answer your query: Yes, you can say those things aren’t yours. Oh I dont know. Give me a couple days and I bet I could build a secret wall or floor safe right next to your bed that you would never know was there. ---
**Author:** ![humbled](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c0e974/32.png) [@humbled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/humbled)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/48 "2014-06-18T19:43:40Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Where do you live that it’s so difficult to find a place that isn’t in the middle of drug lord territory - Colombia? I live in Maryland near Baltimore. ---
**Author:** ![humbled](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c0e974/32.png) [@humbled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/humbled)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/49 "2014-06-18T19:45:33Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > **OP** , where have you ever lived where you _have_ felt safe? I understand needing to feel safe in your own home but I suspect that you have a fear of the world-at-large and wherever you go, there will be shady “felons” (wtf?!) lurking around every corner. > (You said that whenever the mom isnt home, the son has “felon friends coming and going”. How in the fucking world do you know the criminal histories of theze people? Just a feeling you have?) The son has drug charges dating all the way back from 1999. I background checked him. And recently, his girlfriend told him that it’s all happening again. His car got stolen. Police are arresting his friends. What am I supposed to think? There was an undercover cop here 2 weeks that was dressed like a papa john’s worker for christ’s sake. ---
**Author:** ![humbled](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c0e974/32.png) [@humbled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/humbled)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/50 "2014-06-18T19:49:46Z")
Also for the record, I just told the landlady I didn’t feel safe via text and just said please don’t let it happen again. I didn’t mention drugs. I just said police were here 2 weeks ago, arrested his friend on her property and were searching for STUFF. I did not say drugs. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/51 "2014-06-18T19:54:46Z")
> [@humbled](#): > > The son has drug charges dating all the way back from 1999. I background checked him. And recently, his girlfriend told him that it’s all happening again. His car got stolen. Police are arresting his friends. What am I supposed to think? There was an undercover cop here 2 weeks that was dressed like a papa john’s worker for christ’s sake. LOL. Keep going dude. I’m love’n this. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/52 "2014-06-18T20:25:28Z")
> [@humbled](#): > > Well, the problem is getting worse. No, it’s not “getting worse”. It’s the same as it was when you wrote the OP. The difference now is that you have chosen to deliberately escalate your situation. What good do you think is going to come from that text? ---
**Author:** ![humbled](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c0e974/32.png) [@humbled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/humbled)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/53 "2014-06-18T21:29:49Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > No, it’s not “getting worse”. It’s the same as it was when you wrote the OP. The difference now is that you have chosen to deliberately escalate your situation. What good do you think is going to come from that text? And what good is going to come from just not saying anything? We are moving out soon anyway. All I did was text the landlady basically saying look, please tell your son to cut the crap. ---
**Author:** ![Stringbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/54 "2014-06-18T21:36:41Z")
Sometimes, it’s easier to live your life not obsessing over the nefarious dealings of your neighbors. Also, not everyone is a drug dealer. If you’re really worried about it post a sign on your door saying you own a gun and maybe consider getting a dog. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/55 "2014-06-18T21:51:10Z")
how do you know that wasn’t a Papa John’s worker? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/56 "2014-06-18T22:08:25Z")
> [@humbled](#): > > The son has drug charges dating all the way back from 1999. I background checked him. And recently, his girlfriend told him that it’s all happening again. His car got stolen. Police are arresting his friends. What am I supposed to think? There was an undercover cop here 2 weeks that was dressed like a papa john’s worker for christ’s sake. That you dont know shit about these people’s criminal histories. Arrest =//= felony conviction. Geezus. Get a grip. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/57 "2014-06-18T22:17:15Z")
> [@humbled](#): > > And what good is going to come from just not saying anything? We are moving out soon anyway. > > All I did was text the landlady basically saying look, please tell your son to cut the crap. No, you _warned_ her to “not let it happen again”, which was purty funny, if you ask me.😛 ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/58 "2014-06-18T22:19:22Z")
> [@humbled](#): > > The son has drug charges dating all the way back from 1999. I background checked him. And recently, his girlfriend told him that it’s all happening again. His car got stolen. Police are arresting his friends. What am I supposed to think? There was an undercover cop here 2 weeks that was dressed like a papa john’s worker for christ’s sake. As long as they are not arresting you and your girlfriend and nobody is stealing your car, why get so bent out of shape about this? All of what you’re describing seems rather “meh” to me - you seem very preoccupied with and afraid of things that don’t concern you in the slightest. And texting your landlady about her son? Really? None of this is normal behaviour. Add me to the growing ranks of people who think that no matter where you live, you will find people to feel threatened by for no concrete reason. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2014, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/59 "2014-06-18T22:29:54Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > how do you know that wasn’t a Papa John’s worker? Well, I mean, there’s also that guy in the ice cream truck, surreptitiously peering at the residence through a big ol’ pair of binoculars from across the street. Ya’ gotta put 2 & 2 together man. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/60 "2014-06-19T00:13:18Z")
What do you do, run a criminal background check on ALL your new landlords and fellow tenants or neighbors? Unless they have a methlab or something that can cause your apartment to explode, just let it go. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939.md?page=4)