# I'm screwed (bad living situation) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 16, 2014, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939 "2014-06-16T21:46:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/61 "2014-06-19T00:40:26Z")
> [@humbled](#): > > Also for the record, I just told the landlady I didn’t feel safe via text and just said please don’t let it happen again. I didn’t mention drugs. I just said police were here 2 weeks ago, arrested his friend on her property and were searching for STUFF. I did not say drugs. Oh, well if you just said STUFF, then I’m sure she’ll have no clue you mean drugs. That’s a pretty tough code to crack. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/62 "2014-06-19T01:44:11Z")
Dude . . .the meter reader? Not! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/63 "2014-06-19T01:48:09Z")
> [@humbled](#): > > I just told the landlady I didn’t feel safe via text None of us feel safe via text. Not a one of us. Amiright? ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/64 "2014-06-19T03:38:01Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > how do you know that wasn’t a Papa John’s worker? Carrying a mysterious sealed box. Hmmmmm the thick plottens. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/65 "2014-06-19T05:30:50Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > Oh I dont know. Give me a couple days and I bet I could build a secret wall or floor safe right next to your bed that you would never know was there. build? stick it in a furnace vent that’s already there. Done. ---
**Author:** ![humbled](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c0e974/32.png) [@humbled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/humbled)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/66 "2014-06-19T14:34:54Z")
Look, the Papa John’s guy searched the landlord’s son vehicle with latex gloves. He showed the landlord’s son and his friend his badge and searched the vehicle for drugs. Jesus, I hate when people automatically assume someone’s crazy or imagining things just because they themselves never experienced something similar. This is ridiculous. I’m sorry for seeking advice on here. And look, I’m also sorry that my life sucks right now, that I’ve been through crappy situations, that my living situation isn’t great, that this stuff just coincidentally happens at apartment complexes I’ve been to or apartments I have rented in general. I’m living in an area where the average apartment goes for 1.3k per month and that’s in any town/city/area around here. Kicking me while I’m down must make some of you feel pretty awesome. So, thanks for kicking me while I’m down, making me appear crazy, making me question my own sanity when it’s not even my fault, and just being rude in general. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/67 "2014-06-19T14:47:14Z")
listen, I’m sorry about my previous post: folks sometimes make stuff up on these boards and people get a little bit cynical. it’s too bad things are going poorly and I hope it gets better, soon. meanwhile, the person who said put any valuables in storage somewhere and then keep your head down seemed to nail it. ---
**Author:** ![Caffeine.addict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@Caffeine.addict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caffeine.addict)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/68 "2014-06-19T16:16:28Z")
I’m sorry things aren’t going well for you now, but are you going to keep living in the city or are you going to move out to the further suburbs? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/69 "2014-06-19T16:33:15Z")
> [@humbled](#): > > Jesus, I hate when people automatically assume someone’s crazy or imagining things just because they themselves never experienced something similar. Unfortunately, there are three things against you here. First, a lot of people haven’t been in a situation like that (which you noted). Second, you’re clearly “poor” or otherwise economically disadvantaged and a lot of people automatically assume you’re a second-class (or worse) human being because of it. I’m sorry you have to deal with that, I’ve been there and it sucks. Third, there are bullies on the internet just like everywhere else and they get their rocks off kicking people when they’re down. > [@](#): > > This is ridiculous. I’m sorry for seeking advice on here. And look, I’m also sorry that my life sucks right now, that I’ve been through crappy situations, that my living situation isn’t great, that this stuff just coincidentally happens at apartment complexes I’ve been to or apartments I have rented in general. I’m living in an area where the average apartment goes for 1.3k per month and that’s in any town/city/area around here. Another first thing: drugs are EVERYWHERE. Most apartment complexes seem to have at least one dealer at any given time, and as fast as one it kicked out another shows up or someone gets into the business. If you aren’t immediately adjacent to the unit where it’s happening it’s a lot easier to not see it, which is why most people are blissfully unaware until the cops raid “that nice family over there”. So, my advice to you as someone who has been in a similar situation is as follows: 1. look for a new place 2. STFU and don’t get involved with neighbors or their relatives. For all you know the landlady may be in on this, too. Keep your stuff locked up. If you want, as others have suggested, put any really valuable items into either storage or a bank lockbox, and just avoid interacting with people. _As a general rule_ if you don’t bother other people they won’t bother you. If they aren’t currently bothering you don’t start bothering them. 3. When the lease is up move. 4. IF there is some sort of raid on the place it will _probably_ be just the dealer’s unit. However, if the cops knock on your door be polite and cooperative. If the place is under observation they most likely already know you’re not involved. If they don’t know that don’t argue with them during a raid, let the lawyers sort it out in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![convextech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@convextech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/convextech)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/70 "2014-06-19T16:42:58Z")
Dude. Get out of the hood. That $500k house is probably being well paid-for by the drug dealer while you pay a measly pittance in their basement. That’s not guaranteeing you safety; you’re still in low-rent housing. If you want safety, drop the second bedroom requirement, cut back on your cell phone and going out, and rent in a gated apartment complex AFTER you’ve done your homework reading reviews about it. It might be more expensive but that’s where you will find safety. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/71 "2014-06-19T17:17:23Z")
> [@humbled](#): > > Look . . . > Thanks. Humbled? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/72 "2014-06-19T17:19:13Z")
There’s two things going on here **Humbled**. First, you story is layered like an onion which makes it a little hard for me to swallow. Second, even if I were to believe this crazy story line, your biggest danger is yourself. In your previous apartment, do you think anyone would be threatening you if you weren’t known as the snitch? If you kept yourself, would anyone even take note of you? So then you move and you put yourself right back in the mix of things by sending crazy texts and running background checks on people. And the inordinate amount of time you must spend peering out the window really makes me wonder if people think of you as their very own Mrs. Kravitz. If you really want to be safe, keep to yourself. I offer this advice in earnest. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/73 "2014-06-19T23:24:19Z")
> [@humbled](#): > > . My girlfriend hates me for doing this, but I sent a text to the landlady telling her that his sons friend got arrested on her property and to not let it happen again. I’m prepared to call the cops if retaliation occurs. > > If any retaliation happens, I am prepared to take them to court. I think that you have gone into the realm of madness. Keeping your head down means keep a sock in it, and act as if nothing has happened. THEY are the ones being arrested. You still don’t know why they are being arrested. They may not be making their blackmail payments to the local corrupt cops, they may be trying to blow up something, you don’t know. Don’t be a tool. If any retaliation happens, you should, perhaps, be prepared to get buried. Retaliation doesn’t mean an email texted back in all caps. If retaliation is the order of the day, from hardcore drug dealers, the retaliation may well be terminal. No living witness means no court case. Keep that in mind. In a 1/2 million dollar house, you don’t give orders to the landlord OR local dealers. You just don’t. WTF are you doing involving his mother, and giving her orders? That would piss me off more than a rat, if I was a drug dealer. Do you think she won’t tell her son? “Keep your head” low means “keep your trap shut”, not “Get all bad and in everybody’s face”. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/74 "2014-06-19T23:33:59Z")
> [@humbled](#): > > Kicking me while I’m down must make some of you feel pretty awesome. So, thanks for kicking me while I’m down, making me appear crazy, making me question my own sanity when it’s not even my fault, and just being rude in general. > > Thanks. Why are you crying like a baby? You’re being given good advice, and you insult people who are trying to help you. You behave as a 7th grader would, and you can’t seem to understand that you aren’t going to get the pristine world that you want just by demanding it. OK, Mandatory \*\*hh \*\*Question: What meds are you on? You’re holding back on us, and this is where most people who seem to act irrationally, and then start to accuse everybody of making them feel bad, mention their sanity, etc… in these forums usually hold back. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/75 "2014-06-19T23:40:56Z")
Although, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to do background checks on anybody. One can do that for free on the Internet, usually in some way or another. Even paying a few hundred bucks to check out a neighborhood you’ll be stuck living in for 6 months isn’t unreasonable. It’s expecting anything to change just by ratting somebody out, and making yourself famous as a rat, that shows an unrealistic viewpoint. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2014, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/76 "2014-06-19T23:45:55Z")
> [@humbled](#): > > There was an undercover cop here 2 weeks that was dressed like a papa john’s worker for christ’s sake. Now you’re getting into **kathaksung** territory. Paranoid schizophrenic. I guarantee that was not a narc. **Dealers** have a hard time spotting narcs. That’s how they get busted. If there really was an undercover cop hanging around, disguised as a Papa John’s worker or anything else, you’d never know. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/77 "2014-06-20T00:08:07Z")
**OP** , I asked you earlier (in all seriousness) where you have _ever_ lived where you have felt safe, comfortable and at ease. You never answered. What was your neighborhood like as a kid growing up? How long have you lived independently? And have you ever considered that your problem _may not_ be external but rather internal? ---
**Author:** ![humbled](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c0e974/32.png) [@humbled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/humbled)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2014, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939/78 "2014-06-20T00:55:06Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > **OP** , I asked you earlier (in all seriousness) where you have _ever_ lived where you have felt safe, comfortable and at ease. You never answered. What was your neighborhood like as a kid growing up? How long have you lived independently? And have you ever considered that your problem _may not_ be external but rather internal? I’ve lived on my own for 8 years. I didn’t have any problems in those 6 years. I recently moved near Baltimore and suddenly had all sorts of problems. People harassing me, selling drugs, mugging, car tampering. I didn’t have anyone punch me or anything. People around here bark but don’t bite me. I’m a relatively strong guy, so people who have problems with me don’t touch me, just verbally harass me occasionally. Jobs are in this area though as opposed to other areas I’ve lived which had no jobs. I could move to another state, but like people have said, drugs and violence are everywhere. Just never had it hit me in the face. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwed-bad-living-situation/690939.md?page=3)