# I'm screwing this cat! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2013, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898 "2013-07-19T00:49:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/1 "2013-07-19T00:49:32Z")
You just hold the tail! Is anyone familiar with that phrase? The SO used it once, and she was surprised that I’d never heard it before. It did show up once in a thread from 2000. If you know the phrase, where are you from? Wait… What? You think I used the first half of the phrase as Sequential Thread bait? Perish the thought! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fugazi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f08c70/32.png) [@Fugazi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fugazi)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/2 "2013-07-19T02:33:27Z")
Currently “Greatest pranks of all time” is the next thread after this one. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/3 "2013-07-19T02:35:23Z")
I’ve heard “screwed the pooch”, but no one I know ever went after the cat. They’re small and have sharp edges. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/4 "2013-07-19T02:39:15Z")
> [@InternetLegend](#): > > I’ve heard “screwed the pooch”, but no one I know ever went after the cat. They’re small and have sharp edges. Different meanings. ‘Screwing the pooch’ means messing up. ‘I’m screwing this cat! You just hold the tail!’ means ‘I know what I’m doing, and I don’t need your input.’ The funny thing is, when the SO introduced me to the saying, she just said, ‘I’m screwing this cat!’ I was like ‘Ar? 😕 You’re screwing the cat?’ It made sense when she added the last sentence. But she was incredulous I’d never heard it. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/5 "2013-07-19T02:45:00Z")
Never heard that one. I had a co-worker who used to say of a notoriously unselective acquaintance “He’d fuck a snake if he could get someone to hold its head,” but that’s the closest I’ve got. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/6 "2013-07-19T02:57:18Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > ‘I’m screwing this cat! You just hold the tail!’ means ‘I know what I’m doing, and I don’t need your input.’ A similar one, which I heard or read once and have remembered since, is “Who’s fucking this chicken, Frank?” ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/7 "2013-07-19T03:15:41Z")
Sometimes truth is stranger than anything we can imagine. > **[Cat sex crazy Oklahoma woman threatens neighbor: police](https://www.nydailynews.com/2013/07/17/cat-sex-crazy-oklahoma-woman-threatens-neighbor-police/)** > > Not all crazy cat ladies are created equal. A man in Oklahoma City told police his neighbor, Kristina Michelle Brown, threatened him with a knife after Brown claimed the man revealed she had sex wi… > **["I Had Sex With My Cat And Everyone Knows," Aggrieved Oklahoma Woman...](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/woman-claims-sex-with-cat-687453)** > > Convinced that a neighbor spoke to others about her having sex with a cat, an Oklahoma woman allegedly threatened the man with a knife, saying, “Do you wanna die?” > Oklahoma City cops arrested Kristin > [@](#): > > A man in Oklahoma City told police his neighbor, Kristina Michelle Brown, threatened him with a knife after Brown claimed the man revealed she had sex with a cat. > > Before phoning police, Elmer Morrison, 72, saw 23-year-old Brown standing by a fence separating their properties, holding a silver pocket knife. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/8 "2013-07-19T03:17:39Z")
Tangentially to **3trew** ’s phrase, a friend of mine use to declare, “You’re the one fucking this chicken–I’m just holding the wings.” The expression indicated that he wasn’t going to make any decisions or take any responsibility related to whatever effort someone had involved him in. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/9 "2013-07-19T03:22:50Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Sometimes truth is stranger than anything we can imagine. > > [Cat sex crazy Oklahoma woman threatens neighbor: police – New York Daily News](http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/woman-threatens-neighbor-cat-sex-cops-article-1.1401662) > > ["I Had Sex With My Cat And Everyone Knows," Aggrieved Oklahoma Woman Explained To Arresting Officer | The Smoking Gun](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/woman-claims-sex-with-cat-687453) I actually thought this was what the thread would be about. “Everybody knows!!!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/10 "2013-07-19T04:09:29Z")
I did a Google search… the one and only hit for this phrase is this thread. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/11 "2013-07-19T04:31:43Z")
> [@Balance](#): > > Tangentially to **3trew** ’s phrase, a friend of mine use to declare, “You’re the one fucking this chicken–I’m just holding the wings.” The expression indicated that he wasn’t going to make any decisions or take any responsibility related to whatever effort someone had involved him in. So is that the source of the famous, “[Keep fucking that chicken](http://gawker.com/5361335/ny-fox-news-anchor-anastos-keep-fking-that-chicken)” quote? I’d never heard any of these sayings before. This is why it’s worth getting up every morning. Even after half a century, you can still learn something new! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/12 "2013-07-19T04:53:31Z")
> [@InternetLegend](#): > > I’ve heard “screwed the pooch”, but no one I know ever went after the cat. They’re small and have sharp edges. As Calvin said of Hobbes, “Five of his six ends are pointy.” In regards to the OP, I’ve never heard the phrase, “I’m screwing this cat! You just hold the tail!” before. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/13 "2013-07-19T05:02:19Z")
Never heard that before. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/14 "2013-07-19T05:11:37Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Never heard that one. I had a co-worker who used to say of a notoriously unselective acquaintance “He’d fuck a snake if he could get someone to hold its head,” but that’s the closest I’ve got. I’ve heard “I’m so horny I’d fuck a snake if I could get its legs apart.” ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/15 "2013-07-19T05:34:51Z")
Never heard it before. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/16 "2013-07-19T05:36:21Z")
Never heard it before but I have to say it’s pretty funny. ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/17 "2013-07-19T07:33:08Z")
I’ve heard the snake comment as “He’s so horny he’d fuck a snake if someone’d hold it straight for him.” ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/18 "2013-07-19T08:17:56Z")
It’s common around here and has zero to do with sex. It’s equivalent to “Here, hold my beer…” (while I do something crazy and risky that I take full responsibility for; you’re only complicit in that you stood by and watched me do it) ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/19 "2013-07-19T08:49:19Z")
My cousin’s husband, who is a Professor of Cats,\* once testified in court on behalf of a man actually accused of screwing a cat. Despite the Professor’s testimony that the alleged sex act was a practical impossibility, I believe the man was convicted. ¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬ \*Veterinary medicine, but his research was on cats. He has a disease of cats named after him. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/20 "2013-07-19T11:03:32Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > He has a disease of cats named after him. You gotta be talkin about Donnie Hairball, right? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898.md?page=2)