# I'm screwing this cat! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2013, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898 "2013-07-19T00:49:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/21 "2013-07-19T11:15:52Z")
The OP immediately reminded me of “I’m fuckin’ this custard!” – the punch line to the joke about the guy with the thick New York accent who throws a costume party where guests have to dress up as some emotion or other. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/22 "2013-07-19T12:04:10Z")
Never heard it before, but with the amount of work I need to do on the Toyota that requires an additional set of hands but no knowledge of the overall plan I must say the wife is in for some aural pleasure when we get back to it this fall. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/23 "2013-07-19T12:52:00Z")
I had a similar idea with regard to the woodworking project my husband and I are about to undertake, although I will be the tail-holder. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/24 "2013-07-19T13:36:51Z")
Grew up in Texas and lived in California for a few years. Never heard it, but I swear I’ll find a use for it. ---
**Author:** ![stretch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@stretch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stretch)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/25 "2013-07-19T13:39:12Z")
Obviously I am the only person on the Dope who has heard John Mellencamp’s _Theo and Weird Henry_. _Couple of wild boys They told me they could hear the grass grow. Theo used to say, hey Henry, man, I’m screwin’ this cat. You’re just holdin’ it._ – John Mellencamp ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/26 "2013-07-19T13:40:21Z")
I’ve never heard it. Maybe it’s a regional thing. ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/27 "2013-07-19T14:15:37Z")
That sound so familiar. I can’t place exactly where I heard it or something similar. Basically I’m doing some project badly and you need to keep helping. I fully get the meaning. Been there done that too many times. > [@](#): > > I’m screwing this cat! > You just hold the tail! ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/28 "2013-07-19T15:29:59Z")
Nope, never heard it. And, frankly, this thread is making me nervous. _holds down tail_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/29 "2013-07-19T15:44:11Z")
My understanding is that “screw the pooch” was one of the wrong-stuff parts of _The Right Stuff_ - the real phrase is indeed “fuck the dog” and that was too raw for the endless use of it in a 1979 mainstream book. Is there any evidence of “pooch” prior to the 1970s, other than as an obvious euphemism, or did Wolfe create it? ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/30 "2013-07-19T15:58:23Z")
I’ve heard it, but I’ve also used and heard, “You’re screwing this moose, I’m just holding the antlers.” As in, “Hey, you’re the one in charge, I’m just doing what you tell me.” ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/31 "2013-07-19T16:04:07Z")
I’ve heard it as screwing the monkey, which I think it better than cats because, you know, monkeys. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/32 "2013-07-19T23:04:55Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > It’s common around here and has zero to do with sex. Care to share where “here” is so we can see if it is… well, maybe the same household as **Johnny’s** SO? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2013, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/33 "2013-07-19T23:27:31Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > Care to share where “here” is so we can see if it is… well, maybe the same household as **Johnny’s** SO? Virginia. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/34 "2013-07-20T01:40:17Z")
I’ve heard it many time. and agree it means " this is my deal, you just shut up and hold the dummy end of the tape" I have also heard it with the addition “I’ll name one of the kittens after you.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/35 "2013-07-20T04:29:28Z")
> [@stretch](#): > > Obviously I am the only person on the Dope who has heard John Mellencamp’s _Theo and Weird Henry_. > > _Couple of wild boys > They told me they could hear the grass grow. > Theo used to say, hey Henry, man, > I’m screwin’ this cat. > You’re just holdin’ it._ – John Mellencamp From the album Big Daddy, my favorite Mellencamp album. I love that song, but I still don’t know what that means. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/36 "2013-07-20T08:36:21Z")
Never heard it growing up in West Texas. Don’t recall hearing it used in Albuquerque or Hawaii either. Don’t recall ever hearing it before, although I must have heard it in the John Mellencamp song. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/37 "2013-07-20T08:50:33Z")
Never heard the cat thing but holding snake’s head is an oldie. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/38 "2013-07-20T14:47:32Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > The OP immediately reminded me of “I’m fuckin’ this custard!” – the punch line to the joke about the guy with the thick New York accent who throws a costume party where guests have to dress up as some emotion or other. Last year I had a question about a similar line by Mantan Moreland. The punchline involved mashed potatoes. NSFW [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smrJ7459pj0](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smrJ7459pj0) ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2013, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/39 "2013-07-20T17:36:37Z")
> [@Shark\_Sandwich](#): > > I’ve heard it, but I’ve also used and heard, “You’re screwing this moose, I’m just holding the antlers.” As in, “Hey, you’re the one in charge, I’m just doing what you tell me.” There is a similar army expression. A messed up situation or a plan going to shit is refered to as a goatfuck. If someone is butting in where they aren’t supposed to be or trying to micromanage the expression is, “I’m fucking this goat, let go of the horns.” ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/40 "2013-07-21T01:40:33Z")
Not into screwing cats. All we ever do is some heavy petting. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898.md?page=3)