# I'm screwing this cat! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2013, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898 "2013-07-19T00:49:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/41 "2013-07-21T01:52:01Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > The OP immediately reminded me of “I’m fuckin’ this custard!” – the punch line to the joke about the guy with the thick New York accent who throws a costume party where guests have to dress up as some emotion or other. There’s also his buddy at the same party, who is deep in this pear. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2013, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/42 "2013-07-21T04:53:13Z")
I could swear I’ve heard this expression used in the Air Force. Marginally related, there is a Polish idiom that I learned of thanks to Schlock Mercenary: “Not my circus, Not my monkeys.” Basically you see a huge clusterfuck in progress, realize that it’s not your responsibility, and back away from it before someone tries to drag you into it. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/43 "2013-07-22T21:42:23Z")
> [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](#): > > I’ve heard it as screwing the monkey, which I think it better than cats because, you know, monkeys. Yes, but not Biblically… ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/44 "2013-07-22T22:42:03Z")
Way back in the mists of time, you know the 80s when I was at uni, if you were doing a task you were quite capable of and one of your mates was getting in the way the appropriate rebuke was: “Who’s fucking this cat?” I suspect that phrase originates from the earlier “Who’s robbing this coach” or more colloquial “Ned Kelly is robbing this coach”. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/45 "2013-07-23T02:44:08Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > There’s also his buddy at the same party, who is > > deep in this pear. And a third who is in this dress! ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/46 "2013-07-23T03:19:29Z")
> [@penultima\_thule](#): > > Way back in the mists of time, you know the 80s when I was at uni, if you were doing a task you were quite capable of and one of your mates was getting in the way the appropriate rebuke was: > > “Who’s fucking this cat?” > > I suspect that phrase originates from the earlier “Who’s robbing this coach” or more colloquial “Ned Kelly is robbing this coach”. Same scenario, but I’ve only heard or used “Who’s fucking this chook?”, as in, I’m doing this, piss off out of the road and let me do it. I’ve also used the variant when someone is offering unwanted help or advice, “Excuse me, I’m fucking this chook” ---
**Author:** ![NotBob13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e19b73/32.png) [@NotBob13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NotBob13)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/47 "2013-07-29T19:57:19Z")
One of my best friends told me, “I’`m f\*\*\*ing this duck, i just need you to hold the wings.” one day. We are in North West Tennessee for purposes of tracking regional variations. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/48 "2013-07-29T20:36:52Z")
Hm. I see Virginia, and I see Tennessee. The SO was stationed in Alabama for her flight training, and she lived in TN for a while. Sounds like a geographically-limited Southern expression. ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/49 "2013-07-29T22:23:15Z")
Think I’ve heard, ‘I’m screwing this cat, you just hold the tail.’ in the past, but not very often or frequently. Heard ‘He would fuck a snake if he thought it wouldn’t bite and somebody would help him hold it.’ for as long as I can remember, and that’s a long time. 😉 Some of the other ones that I recall hearing… ‘Who’s fucking this cat, you or me?’ As in, who is going to do this unpleasant task. ‘He/she looks like a monkey trying to fuck a football.’ As in, someone trying to do something and obviously has no clue of how to do it. ---
**Author:** ![agnesnitt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d78d45/32.png) [@agnesnitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agnesnitt)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/50 "2013-07-29T22:39:09Z")
Several people mentioned the Air Force. 30 years in, and I never heard that particular cat expression. That doesn’t mean anything. Flyboys are inventive in their expressions, and 90% of them like to pretend they’re ‘good ol country boys’ when they’re really sharp as tacks and sophisticated as all get out. I did hear 'This/he/she is dumber than a hundred dead chickens" occasionally. And a particular epithet regarding ‘bunnies’, that was amusing because of the baby word bunny and the overall effect of the expression. Alas, the years have passed, and the ‘bunny’ tale is gone from my memory. ---
**Author:** ![dangermaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b4bc9f/32.png) [@dangermaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermaus)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/51 "2013-07-30T12:06:52Z")
The phrase was quite popular during my time in the (Australian) army, around 5 years ago ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/52 "2013-07-30T13:16:33Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Never heard that one. I had a co-worker who used to say of a notoriously unselective acquaintance “He’d fuck a snake if he could get someone to hold its head,” but that’s the closest I’ve got. And the follow up: “He’d fuck a woodpile, if he thought there was a snake in it”. ---
**Author:** ![hipdadiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@hipdadiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hipdadiddy)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/53 "2013-07-30T17:47:03Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > Sometimes truth is stranger than anything we can imagine. > > [Cat sex crazy Oklahoma woman threatens neighbor: police – New York Daily News](http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/woman-threatens-neighbor-cat-sex-cops-article-1.1401662) > > ["I Had Sex With My Cat And Everyone Knows," Aggrieved Oklahoma Woman Explained To Arresting Officer | The Smoking Gun](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/woman-claims-sex-with-cat-687453) A little tangential, maybe, but puts me in mind of a great parody of _Hustler_ magazine the old _National Lampoon_ did back in the early 80’s. Cover blurb: “Knocking the Teeth Out of Your Cat With a Ball-peen Hammer and Smearing Your Pecker With Tunafish” Not sure what they were implying about the proclivities of the average _Hustler_ reader. Maybe a clue was the centerfold–a picture of a bunch of holes in a muddy riverbank. ---
**Author:** ![BrassyPhrase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea666f/32.png) [@BrassyPhrase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrassyPhrase)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2013, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/54 "2013-07-30T18:30:50Z")
This was years ago, but I worked with a woman (still one of my best friends) who, when things were going wrong, loved to say, ‘Well. lift up my skirts, and fuck me running!’ A setup for another friend saying, “Take off”. Absolutely deadpan. Fun thing was? We were always in pants. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Major\_Matt\_Mason](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Major\_Matt\_Mason](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Major_Matt_Mason)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898/55 "2013-08-05T10:21:48Z")
Yes, but how about the spiders? ;D -MMM- [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-screwing-this-cat/663898.md?page=2)