# I'm sick of beauty **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 9, 2009, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570 "2009-12-09T08:27:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/41 "2009-12-09T18:24:53Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > And what are you doing right now, in this thread, to the guys that look at you for your attractiveness? Are you asking _me_ this question, or are you asking the OP? I don’t mind men being attracted to me for looking good, and nothing in my post implies otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/42 "2009-12-09T18:30:37Z")
Take it while you can, even the beautiful get old and ugly. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/43 "2009-12-09T19:49:22Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > Are you asking _me_ this question, or are you asking the OP? I don’t mind men being attracted to me for looking good, and nothing in my post implies otherwise. But others do. You said that men don’t have it just as bad. Your evidence for this was (or is) that _you_ look down on women that judge by money but _you_ don’t look down on men that judge by beauty. IME, most women do look down on men that judge women by their beauty. So your gold-digger point (that wallet-driven women are shunned) does not make a difference, since the gender equivalent is also true. ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/44 "2009-12-09T19:51:08Z")
I’m sick of it too, and it’s going to be my career. 🙂 Seriously, I think beauty is what makes someone walk down the street with their head held high. I had a discussion with my instructor when we were going over face shapes and straight vs. convex profiles, etc. I was explaining how that was all very interesting, but if it really said anything substantial about what is beautiful, then super triangle face Reese Witherspoon would be shunned in the streets. Instead, she’s one of Hollywood’s top actresses, and it’s because she has a quality that transcends all that standard garbage. The quality that says “This is who I am, and I am proud of it. I’m a kickass person to know.” Cultivate that quality. 90% of beauty is being proud of yourself. Write down 10 good things about yourself everyday. It can be the same 10 things everyday if you want, the point is to remind yourself about what it is that makes you special. It sounds trite, but it works. I’m in school only to learn about the other 10%, but I think most of what makes a good hairdresser/beautician/cosmetologist is not the ability to cut the same cookie cutter cut (odd sentence) to make every face look like an oval. It’s the ability to make every woman feel good according to her standards. What was supposed to be a pep talk for you turned into a industry rant. But I think it’s still relevant, so I’m posting. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/45 "2009-12-09T19:57:49Z")
“I’m sick of beauty” seems like little more than “I’m pretty, but I’m sooooooo deep!” in this context. Just saying. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/46 "2009-12-09T19:58:37Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Anyone with me? It’s enough to make me buy some sensible shoes, stop shaving, and start living with a lot of cats. That’s so hot. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/47 "2009-12-09T20:06:14Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > Ok, I’ll 'fess up. I read the OP, and went over to look at the new site a bunch of us submitted our pictures to. > > My reaction was "hey, she **is** pretty. If I had to make a snap judgment based on the picture alone, I wouldn’t have picked you for someone that worries a lot about fussing over her makeup, there’s a damn cute smile, and based more or less on the fact that you’re sitting at Everest Base Camp, someone that bothers to stay active. > > You’re one of us, which automatically makes you smart, capable of coherent conversation, off-beat humor and something of a constant smirk on your face while looking at life. > Those things there spell “beauty” a boatload more to me than rosy made up cheeks and push-up bras. Beauty as in the “isn’t skin deep” kind, which after all is said and done, is what you’re left with. > > \*Though I admit a weakness for a woman that can walk in heels without looking like a drunken stork, they have their place, and Base Camp is not one of those. > … > > PS: You’re not in the Chicago area huh? Because… oh never mind… 😉 > > PPS: I’ve met **Haze** a few times, I refuse to believe there is anything she could do **not** to be hot, but she’s still immeasurably cooler and nicer than most people I’ve run across. I’m not trying to start a fight or impugn your motives, but I’m pretty sure this is exactly what the OP is sick of. Jebus. [QUOTE=Ogre] “I’m sick of beauty” seems like little more than “I’m pretty, but I’m sooooooo deep!” in this context. Just saying. [/QUOTE] I think that context is on you. OP didn’t say anything about how beautiful she is. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/48 "2009-12-09T20:10:56Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > “I’m sick of beauty” seems like little more than “I’m pretty, but I’m sooooooo deep!” in this context. Just saying. There is certainly an element of that. I’d say, if the people you’re hanging around with aren’t looking past your face, find some better people. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/49 "2009-12-09T20:13:18Z")
> [@torie](#): > > I’m sick of it too, and it’s going to be my career… > > What was supposed to be a pep talk for you turned into a industry rant. But I think it’s still relevant, so I’m posting. I think the cosmetics and fashion industry is guilty of a grave sin: deliberately confusing\* ‘beauty’ and ‘gorgeousness’. As a result of this confusion, every time there is one of these discussions, everybody gets tied up into knots, because the two concepts are quite different. Gorgeousness is superfical appearance; beauty comes from within: it’s the personalty. Gorgeousness can be captured in still photographs and is amenable to cosmetic engineering techniques like implants and surgery. But gorgeousness is brittle; it’s at the mercy of the personality of the person within. If that person is not beautiful, no amount of gorgeousness will hide it for long. And if that person is beautiful, it will show… once you know them. Gorgeousness is bait, but beauty is the hook that makes a person want to be with you. But the fashion industry always says their cosmetic techniques will make you more beautiful, when what they mean is, they’ll make you more gorgeous. The fashion industry is powerless to make someone more beautiful; that takes hard work and introspection. [sub]\*It’s not the only industry that does this; look at the real-estate industry’s use of ‘home’ versus ‘house’.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/50 "2009-12-09T20:14:39Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > “I’m sick of beauty” seems like little more than “I’m pretty, but I’m sooooooo deep!” in this context. Just saying. I think that’s essentially what it is, and I see nothing wrong with that sentiment. If other people are measuring you entirely by a standard that you don’t value, why should that not be annoying? Unless you think it’s a “all these 50’s won’t fit in my wallet!” kind of problem. I can see why a person who has always suffered for being perceived as ugly would get annoyed and think “HEY! Try being me!”. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/51 "2009-12-09T20:16:37Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > Can you imagine a movie in which the roles were reversed? Picture a frumpy, goofy woman having a happily ever after ending with a rich Pierce Bronson type. The image doesn’t readily gel, does it? The only one I can think of is Georgy Girl (Renee Zellwegger? come on, in what world is she goofy/frumpy?). Though Lynn Redgrave ended up with James Mason, who’s nowhere as hot as Pierce, IMHO. I mean, there are a few “frumpy girl ends up with hot guy” movies but they’re few and far between. How many TV shows with fat guys with hot wives can we think of, and how many with the reverse are there? ---
**Author:** ![tacoloco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tacoloco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tacoloco)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/52 "2009-12-09T20:19:30Z")
> [@Noone\_Special](#): > > If it makes you feel a bit better, when I take stock of which women make me look at them twice, all of those I have ever got to knowing at all well have been intelligent and possessed of a sense of humor – so yeah, it’s a sample of one guy tooting his own horn, but _some_ of us demand personality as a prerequisite to attractiveness. I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but most men want something more than just good looks in a woman. ---
**Author:** ![torie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/77aa72/32.png) [@torie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torie)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/53 "2009-12-09T20:21:40Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > The only one I can think of is Georgy Girl (Renee Zellwegger? come on, in what world is she goofy/frumpy?). Though Lynn Redgrave ended up with James Mason, who’s nowhere as hot as Pierce, IMHO. > > I mean, there are a few “frumpy girl ends up with hot guy” movies but they’re few and far between. How many TV shows with fat guys with hot wives can we think of, and how many with the reverse are there? Nia Valderwhoeverthehell is a frumpy girl who ends up with What’shisnamewhoIthinkstartswithS in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, but I think she gets a makeover and gets hot in the process, so it kinda waters down the sentiment. See, what’s different about the “Mismatched Chick to Dude” genre is that it requires the woman to change in the process, where it doesn’t require that of men. Seth Rogan can stay fat and frumpy and get the chick, but Nia Whoever gets the makeover. The only movie I can think of that doesn’t do this is Bridget Jones’ Diary. ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/54 "2009-12-09T20:27:58Z")
> [@torie](#): > > Unless you think it’s a “all these 50’s won’t fit in my wallet!” kind of problem. I can see why a person who has always suffered for being perceived as ugly would get annoyed and think “HEY! Try being me!”. Funny, I was just thinking of this exact scene and how his diamond shoes are too tight. And FTR I have not suffered for being perceived as ugly. ---
**Author:** ![kapri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4491bb/32.png) [@kapri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapri)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/55 "2009-12-09T20:38:21Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Do you know any women who actually do this? Maybe I hang out with too many hipsters, but my friends brag about how interesting, creative, intelligent, loving, sexual and fun their boyfriends are. I’ve never once witnessed American women comparing gifts, and honestly most my friends can buy their own stuff. > > Anyway, I’m reasonably cute- this is no sour grapes rant. I do enjoy dressing up and looking good, and that’s not gonna change. I just wish I wasn’t so often seen as so much less than the sum of my parts. I’m with you, although I used to know women who did that, back in the 80s, when I lived in New York. Nowadays, most women I know are looking for someone who treats them well, is well-groomed, and is a pleasant companion. Who cares what kind of gifts he buys you? Men who think all women do this are dating the wrong kind of woman. As for the rest of what you said–yep, I’m with you, but I don’t dress or work out or whatever for men. I do it for myself, period, because it makes me feel better. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/56 "2009-12-09T20:42:52Z")
Everyone asserts that _they_ and those they like are not shallow and judgmental - they are simply sick of the shallowness of _everyone else in relation to them_. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/57 "2009-12-09T20:51:53Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > But others do. You said that men don’t have it just as bad. Your evidence for this was (or is) that _you_ look down on women that judge by money but _you_ don’t look down on men that judge by beauty. No, my evidence is that _society_ looks down on women who judge a man based on how much money he has. I don’t see the same amount of societal scorn heaped upon men who want a hot girlfriend. But I said nothing said about me or my personal beliefs. You named two movies to contradict what I said about social media. But for every Ugly Betty, there is a Knocked Up, a Superbad, a Hitched, the Simpsons, the Flintsones, and a King of the House > [@](#): > > IME, most women do look down on men that judge women by their beauty. They don’t in my experience. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/58 "2009-12-09T20:51:58Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > The only one I can think of is Georgy Girl (Renee Zellwegger? come on, in what world is she goofy/frumpy?). Though Lynn Redgrave ended up with James Mason, who’s nowhere as hot as Pierce, IMHO. > > I mean, there are a few “frumpy girl ends up with hot guy” movies but they’re few and far between. How many TV shows with fat guys with hot wives can we think of, and how many with the reverse are there? Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day has the decidely frumpy Frances McDomand ending up with age appropriate, but handsome, Ciaran Hinds. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/59 "2009-12-09T21:16:27Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > I think that context is on you. OP didn’t say anything about how beautiful she is. I think it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to infer from “I’m even tired of being told I’m beautiful.” Especially at the end of a rant about how awful it is to be evaluated for your appearance after putting a lot of time, money and energy into said appearance. I mean, how many women of any attractiveness level do _you_ personally know who hear that often enough for it to be an issue? ---
**Author:** ![Sofis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Sofis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofis)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2009, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570/60 "2009-12-09T21:17:59Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > No, my evidence is that _society_ looks down on women who judge a man based on how much money he has. I don’t see the same amount of societal scorn heaped upon men who want a hot girlfriend. There is much scorn for women who absolutely require their men to be rich and buy them expensive things. But there is not all that much scorn for women who expect men to pay for dates. Not much scorn for men who want a hot girlfriend. Lots for those who have along laundry list of physical features women have to have to at all be worth their time. It’s easy to pick the extreme of one sin and compare it with the low end of another; and oh, look at the difference! But it’s not a fair contest. Not that I see the point of the contest in the first place… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-of-beauty/520570.md?page=4)