# I'm sick to death of my sister's wedding **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 21, 2007, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063 "2007-02-21T06:45:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/41 "2007-02-23T18:50:48Z")
[QUOTE=gardentraveler] \I just can’t imagine putting that much money into a party. [/quote] We had a tiny, very simple wedding, and it ended up around $3000, if I recall correctly. I couldn’t believe it when I totted up the numbers - we had simple flowers, a cake from Safeway, a community hall, a friend playing photographer, our own cds for music, my dress was $300 total; where did $3000 go? > [@](#): > > And, isn’t there a rule about parents only paying for _one_ wedding? > > GT Depends on how daughter-whipped the parents are, I suppose. I didn’t even get one wedding out of _my_ parents (none of my three sisters did, either), and we didn’t think anything of it. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/42 "2007-02-23T19:39:05Z")
So, have you started working on your toast? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/43 "2007-02-23T19:58:01Z")
“Thank god it’s over. I mean, here’s wishing both of you all the happiness in the world. Ian, try not to kill her. We all know how difficult she can be. Heck, you know - you’re marrying her.” How’s that? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/44 "2007-02-23T20:26:02Z")
F’lou, Dave and I also spent $3K. And, our cake was also from Safeway. That was a damned tasty cake. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/45 "2007-02-23T21:32:27Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] Extract the dead fish? I think that would be hysterically funny. I suppose you could extract them after the bride has seen them and started shrieking. [/QUOTE] Seize a tray of canapes, place a dead goldfish atop each, garnished with a sprig of parsley, and then straightfacedly hand them round as _hors d’oeuvres_. Keep your video camera on hand as the hilarity ensues. This has the dual advantage of ensuring you’ll never be invited to another wedding as long as you live. ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2007, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/46 "2007-02-23T22:33:12Z")
Sounds like you have a whole gaggle of sisters. (I’m one of four sisters myself.) Couldn’t some of the others take on some of the burden of listening to your sister’s bridal planning crap? I know if I were in your position, my other sisters would be happy to help give me a break. ---
**Author:** ![tashabot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tashabot/32/6250_2.png) [@tashabot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tashabot)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2007, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/47 "2007-02-24T01:54:35Z")
Oh, man. I have a friend who’s doing this to the extent that we’ve severed our friendship because she’s such a bridezilla. It doesn’t help that her betrothed is a jackass, but on top of it she’s spending something like $10,000 on the wedding! Or rather, her parents are. I got married this past week, and including the marriage license it all cost about $150, and took maybe a week of planning. When my parents got married, they paid $50 - $25 for the license, $25 for the JOP ceremony, and got married in T shirts and jeans. 23 years later they’re still together and in love. The “Big Day” doesn’t matter. It’s the marriage that counts, not the wedding, and the rampant Bridezilla mentality that’s going around nowadays drives me insane. But see, when I called my friend on her inappropriate behavior, the friendship essentially ended. So while I agree that your sister needs to be told how horrible she’s acting, you must be aware of the fact that she might not take it very well. And while that’d probably be you not being the matron of honor anymore (and therefore, not in charge of anything), you also might lose a sister for a while because of it. ~Tasha ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2007, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/48 "2007-02-24T02:41:00Z")
[QUOTE=Mach Tuck] Reason #643 why I’ve never married. As a guy with a short fuse when it comes to ceremonial nonsense, there’s no way I could put up with being a participant in this kind of thing. [/QUOTE] Dude, you only need to know two things:[ul][li]“Uh huh…uh huh…uh huh…”, and[/li][li]“Nice shoes!”[/ul]As for the wedding day…er, excuse me, WEDDING DAY!!!, as the groom, all you have to do is pick up the tux, show up at the ceremony, not get staggering drunk, and don’t sleep with a bridesmade. This is the easiest day of your life. Unfortunately, it’s all downhill from there. (This is assuming that you’re marrying, for some insane reason, one of these Bridezilla types. I’m personally shooting for the Six People On A Beach ceremony if for no other reason than to test out the compatibility of said bride.)[/li] [QUOTE=Campion] And, really, the thought of a laminated card seemed less weird to me at the time given my family. (My dad sends us each a laminated card with family addresses and phone numbers each time someone moves or changes a number, so they’re kind of popular in my family.) [/QUOTE] Okay, your dad is insane, but this is one of his more useful insanities. Laminated, personalized instructions on where to sit and how to act at a wedding and/or reception, however, are just about a step and a half away from bringing in Martha Stewart to conduct your wedding. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2007, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/49 "2007-02-24T04:57:26Z")
[Another anti-'Zilla site.](http://www.goingbridal.com/) The BrideAudit is particularily helpful to help 'Zillas determine what they FUCKING WELL DESERVE, DAMMIT!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2007, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/50 "2007-02-24T06:04:28Z")
I’ve been reading this with sympathy. I got married in a Judges Chambers in Honolulu (where they have signs outside telling you that you can’ t toss rice, bird seed, ANYTHING). I was a Bridezilla. I would not get married without my hair lei and my bouquet. I eloped - had no friends, no gown, no cake - but I insisted on my flowers! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2007, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/51 "2007-02-24T15:44:56Z")
[QUOTE=Annie] [Another anti-'Zilla site.](http://www.goingbridal.com/) The BrideAudit is particularily helpful to help 'Zillas determine what they FUCKING WELL DESERVE, DAMMIT!!! 😃 [/QUOTE] I like the Cavalcade of Bad Bridal Fashion - like Go Fug Yourself, except with brides. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2007, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/52 "2007-02-24T16:03:11Z")
Oh, I forgot to tell you what my sister said that made me realize that she and reality aren’t speaking at the moment. We were discussing [my dress, which is a lovely, full-length, lilac crepe sleeveless gown with layers on the skirt, beading all over the bodice, and a large-ish beaded jacket](http://www.therosedress.com/dresses/mm/s1058.html). It actually is a lovely dress for a wedding, but my sister mentioned something about how I’ll be able to wear it again. Yes, I’ll just toss it on for Friday evenings when we go out to Boston Pizza for dinner. Look, I don’t mind buying and wearing a full-length, beaded lilac dress, just don’t kid yourself about how _useful_ it’s going to be in my wardrobe. It’s a bridesmaid dress, and as such, will hang in my closet until I use it for a halloween costume in five years. Unless I just start showing up a random weddings around town for free dinners and cake. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2007, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/53 "2007-02-24T16:37:32Z")
I must admit, I decided several years ago that the idea of a bridesmaid’s dress which can be worn again is not very practical. It’s possible, especially if one has a casual wedding, but most bridesmaids dresses are just not designed in ways that make them good candidates for rewearing–unless one dresses up a lot more than I do. That said, I have been a bridesmaid in two weddings, and my mother made my dress each time. One of my dresses, I have worn again. I took it to my mother post wedding and said “OK, could you cut about 12 inches off the hem, and remove this silly beaded lace trim”. With those alterations done, it’s a simple green dress, suitable for church. My other bridesmaid’s dress is very pretty, but would not be practical to adapt for rewearing. And having looked at the dress in question, I agree with you, **featherlou**. It’s a lovely dress. But it’s a bit sophisticated for casual wearing. ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2007, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/54 "2007-02-24T17:10:46Z")
I’d wear that as a wedding guest somewhere, _sans_ jacket. Actually _I_ wouldn’t. I’d look like a Weebil stuffed in a lilac sausage casing. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2007, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/55 "2007-02-24T17:43:28Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] “Thank god it’s over. I mean, here’s wishing both of you all the happiness in the world. Ian, try not to kill her. We all know how difficult she can be. Heck, you know - you’re marrying her.” How’s that? 😃 [/QUOTE] Heh. Pretty close to the toast I gave at my sister’s wedding. I totally forgot about writing one, in all of the rush (okay, I didn’t forget, but kept procrastinating since there were lots of other things to do), so then on the day of, all of a sudden there’s a microphone in my hand. I still have no idea what I said, but I suspect it was very close to that. Didn’t get disowned, so I suspect no one was paying attention. 😉 > [@Stranger On A Train](#): > > Okay, your dad is insane, but this is one of his more useful insanities. Laminated, personalized instructions on where to sit and how to act at a wedding and/or reception, however, are just about a step and a half away from bringing in Martha Stewart to conduct your wedding. Dude, you _idolize_ my dad. Who wouldn’t? He laminates everything, sticks photos of his tools above the spot where they belong in the garage (so it’s easy to put everything back where it belongs), diagrams the kitchen cupboards so it’s easier to unload the dishwasher, lops off random digits and then posts the post-emergency room photos on his web page… Yeah, my dad’s pretty cool. And you’ve got to admit that my sister (outside the whole Sleeping with the Enemy story) doesn’t come across as a Martha Stewart-esque control freak in person. She really just wanted the wedding to go well – as much for mom and dad as for herself – and she lost it a little bit. Okay, a _lot_ bit. So I guess that’s where I come down, **featherlou**. Grit your teeth and get through this; if your sister wasn’t like this before, odds are good that she’ll recover after the wedding. Although if she’s sent you an email saying that you can wear that dress again after the wedding (did you notice even the model looks unhappy in that dress??), save that email. Print it out. Laminate it. And then every freaking time you see your sister, wear that dress. This will work particularly well if you invite her over to help you clean out the garage. And if she ever says, “Whatever are you doing, wearing that??” hand her the laminated email. ---
**Author:** ![Jinx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Jinx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jinx)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2007, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/56 "2007-02-24T17:56:39Z")
Unfortunately, weddings can put tremendous strain on family relations. And, it can pull one-close sisters apart. I think the event itself becomes larger than life; hence, we forget what it means to the _family_…kinda like what Xmas has evolevd into today from its humble roots. In this case, the bride can only dream of having everything perfect at her “perfect wedding” of which there is no such thing. But, TV and bridal magazines make us believe “you can have the perfect wedding” if you knock yourself out and put the family second to all the trimmings. Marriage is about families as well as the couple…not just the decor. The wedding is one day; families are forever. Brides tend to forget the big picture is to celebrate the union of two families, not just two individuals. Just one opinion… - Jinx ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2007, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/57 "2007-02-24T18:42:05Z")
There is no need to resort to dead fish and the like. ONe simple thing can get you even real quick. “Hi I came to tell you about a problem with your dress, but it must just be lighting.” ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2007, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/58 "2007-02-24T19:07:57Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] Oh, I forgot to tell you what my sister said that made me realize that she and reality aren’t speaking at the moment. We were discussing [my dress, which is a lovely, full-length, lilac crepe sleeveless gown with layers on the skirt, beading all over the bodice, and a large-ish beaded jacket](http://www.therosedress.com/dresses/mm/s1058.html). It actually is a lovely dress for a wedding, but my sister mentioned something about how I’ll be able to wear it again. Yes, I’ll just toss it on for Friday evenings when we go out to Boston Pizza for dinner. Look, I don’t mind buying and wearing a full-length, beaded lilac dress, just don’t kid yourself about how _useful_ it’s going to be in my wardrobe. It’s a bridesmaid dress, and as such, will hang in my closet until I use it for a halloween costume in five years. Unless I just start showing up a random weddings around town for free dinners and cake. [/QUOTE] Well, on the bright side, its only a $90 dress. Which is a lot of money for a dress, don’t get me wrong, but a lot of bridesmaids dresses cost a lot more. I spent $180 for my best friend’s wedding in 05, and this fall I’m in a friends wedding, she found a dress ‘on sale’ on the internet for $115. And its not a horrible dress, you could donate to a thrift shop or trade with a friend, I’m sure someone will conservative taste would be happy to wear it. Its also not clingy or strapless, so you won’t have to spend $60 on undergarmets. I totally agree that the re-wearing of bridesmaid dresses is a complete myth. I already own a few non-bridesmaids outfits that I wear can wear to formal events, and I like them fine. When it comes to bridesmaids outfit, I’d just prefer to get a cheap but simple dress in a pretty color, wear it once, and go back to my normal clothes. ---
**Author:** ![sugar\_and\_spice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@sugar\_and\_spice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugar_and_spice)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2007, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/59 "2007-02-24T19:16:01Z")
Oops, **pulykamell** ’s last message was actually me! (he wasn’t too happy about that one) ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2007, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063/60 "2007-02-24T19:36:45Z")
Gotta say that’s one of the most acceptable bridesmaid’s dresses I’ve ever seen, but unless you attend a whole lot of formal events, it’s not going to see a second serious wearing. And it’s actually cheaper than the dress I wore at my brother’s wedding 25 years ago (I refused to pay for it because it was way out of my budget, so he got the honor of financing it). As for the laminated contact list thing - we do that a lot at work and I’ve often considered doing my own. I find it amazing how women’s personalities can change while they’re planning their weddings. Hope sis recovers quickly. GT [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-sick-to-death-of-my-sisters-wedding/393063.md?page=4)