# I'm single again.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 10, 2005, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-again/293761 "2005-03-10T01:31:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Opinions\_Vary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/858c86/32.png) [@Opinions\_Vary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opinions_Vary)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-again/293761/21 "2005-03-11T03:09:13Z")
> [@Flamsterette\_X](#): > > Some of you may remember [the “I’m taken!” thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=253161&highlight=Memphis) I posted last year when I decided to make a go of an Internet relationship. I haven’t said much about this relationship on here since then, other than occasional references here and there to “S” or “my boyfriend.” > > He’s since gotten very busy doing work at church, and hasn’t communicated much to me at all in the past couple of weeks or month. While I understand people being busy, I felt that I was being put on the back burner, and he didn’t make any effort to communicate. I sent him an email with several important questions about the relationship a couple of weeks ago, which to date he hasn’t responded to. People have said that if he didn’t respond, it meant that he didn’t want to say anything to me. > > After much thinking about this and his past unreliability (blaming my phone lines for calls not getting through, constantly forgetting to call me, etc.), I felt I had to say something for my sanity’s sake. > No words can describe how I feel right now. > > Suffice to say that I officially ended it. > > I feel bad for breaking up for the surface reason of “he’s too busy for me,” but then there WAS the whole lack of communication thing also. > > Nothing can describe how I feel right now. Suffice to say that I officially ended it earlier this afternoon. I thought he deserved the courtesy of knowing, rather than our just drifting apart. He knew already how I felt: remember that email he never answered? 😛 (which he says he’ll answer now as soon as he can, because I at least deserve that… ha ha ha, we shall see on THAT one! 😛 ) > He’s apologizing profusely now, and saying that he didn’t anticipate his life getting so crazy. I can understand that, but all I wanted was for him to COMMUNICATE once in a while! > > Maybe I’m not understanding enough, but I put in a lot of effort into this thing. He says he wishes me nothing but blessings and happiness, and wants me to know that he’ll always be my friend. (and maybe we were only meant to be together for just over eleven months) > > Before everyone gets the idea that I feel totally nonchalant about things, I don’t! A part of me still loves him, as contradictory as that may sound. So now I feel absolutely horrible that I even have to do this to him, to us. But my practical side asserts itself and says that there wasn’t that much of a future. > > Sigh… I hope it gets easier. ☹ ``` Not wanting to step on toes, but I have learned that sometimes its better to be alone then "with someone and be lonely, Keep your head up so when the right one comes your way they'll see your smile and not pass you by ``` ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-again/293761/22 "2005-03-11T03:13:08Z")
> [@Opinions Vary](#): > > Not wanting to step on toes, but I have learned that sometimes its better to be alone then "with someone and be lonely, Keep your head up so when the right one comes your way they’ll see your smile and not pass you by Well said. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-again/293761/23 "2005-03-11T03:13:39Z")
> [@Scotticher](#): > > What am I, chopped liver? 😃 > > [sub]sheesh, you’d think I’d be invited just for my cooking, let alone my voluptuous…erm, pulcritudionous…why can’t I spell tonight? Okay, my singleness and warm fuzziness. Okay, okay, I admit it…I just wanna sit in the hot tub. Which, if I recall correctly, you told me didn’t WORK. [suspicious look] [/sub] **Scotti** , of _course_ you can come! [sub]I didn’t say the hot tub didn’t work. I said I’d never tried to see if it worked. Some friends came round a couple of weeks ago and _insisted_ on filling it up and trying it. It works. But we still have to drain it and clean it, then fill it up again and put in chemicals.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Opinions\_Vary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/858c86/32.png) [@Opinions\_Vary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Opinions_Vary)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-again/293761/24 "2005-03-11T04:00:08Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > **Scotti** , of _course_ you can come! > > [sub]I didn’t say the hot tub didn’t work. I said I’d never tried to see if it worked. Some friends came round a couple of weeks ago and _insisted_ on filling it up and trying it. It works. But we still have to drain it and clean it, then fill it up again and put in chemicals.[/sub] ``` Hot tubs are great when there is more then one person it......... ``` 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-again/293761/25 "2005-03-11T04:53:10Z")
> [@Opinions Vary](#): > > Hot tubs are great when there is more then one person it… > 😛 Okay, that’s me, my two friends and their wives, **Flami** , **Scotti** , and **Scribble**. I think I need a bigger hot tub! ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-again/293761/26 "2005-03-11T05:58:14Z")
> [@Agent Foxtrot](#): > > I’m not lecturing you, believe me; just curious: You fell in love with him without having ever met him? > > Adam I fell in love with what I perceived to be his personality and humor. He still has that; in fact, he made me laugh today with some inadvertent Nine Inch Nails reference. 😃 But I didn’t know about what was under the surface, I’d guess… **Opinions Vary** : I’ve heard that before, too. I have a feeling I might be an utter wreck this weekend, but who knows? I may be strong in front of my friends. 😉 **Johnny L.A.** : Certainly sounds like it, yes! Bring on the bigger hot tubs! ---
**Author:** ![Arwin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/51bf81/32.png) [@Arwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arwin)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-again/293761/27 "2005-03-11T10:07:02Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > Okay, that’s me, my two friends and their wives, **Flami** , **Scotti** , and **Scribble**. I think I need a bigger hot tub! You emphatically do not need a bigger hot tub! Trust me! At least as long as the male female ratio is the way it is now. > [@Flamsterette\_X](#): > > I fell in love with what I perceived to be his personality and humor. He still has that; in fact, he made me laugh today with some inadvertent Nine Inch Nails reference. But I didn’t know about what was under the surface, I’d guess… Actually, personality and humor could well be what was under the surface, and you just didn’t know the surface. 😉 (or the one or two MSOs) I don’t know if a doper availability thread exists already, actually. I was just thinking it could be a good idea. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-again/293761/28 "2005-03-11T15:51:01Z")
Ohmigosh! I could have written this myself. This is almost exactly what happened to me last week. Communication, not seeing, no responses, etc…I know how you feel, but i know that doesn’t make it any easier at all. At one time you think the world is right, then it slowly starts turning upside down. The worst part is you’re sitting there wondering what’s going on in his/her mind and not knowing, and that’s drove me absolutly nuts! It will get eaiser, but it’s one step forward two steps back. No time for you and no communication IS a good reason to break up, don’t feel bad. You probably did the right thing, (but hey, all i know about you is what you told me here.) And afterall, it’s sooooooo easy to find the right person, right? You seem to have given him the benefit of the doubt, time to respond, talked to him, emailed him, etc… If he still doesn’t come around, well…You tried and that’s all you can do. You can always change your mind, maybe some time alone for him will kick him in the pants. For me it was similar, I’ll allow you to trod in the dread I call my life. I was sending plenty of messages, cards, things, you name it. Would fly over at the drop of a hat. But she’s too busy to email, make time, anything. I got maybe 2 sentences a week and seldom an answer to something I asked her. Finally I actually asked if she was satisfied, where is this going, and something else. 4 days later she responded and blew up, why don’t i support her in her quest for a new job in Israel, How can I ask that, and other things all the while not answering the 3 questions i asked. Man, all I want to know is if we’re ever going to be together. So I said, I’m not happy, this isn’t going where I want, let’s be friends and if something happens, great. I know nothing will. Absolutley no communication, and I’m a _guy_ saying this! Take some time Flamesterette, you’ve sure gotten a lot of responses so people here have your back. good luck. But it really sucks, doesn’t it?? and it never gets easier. I hear you. No worries. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-again/293761/29 "2005-03-11T15:55:53Z")
Psssst… 80% success rate… Just sayin’… > **[Permasingular dating service \[tm\]](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=306331)** > > Hey all. Today I got the news, in passing, that yet another person who broke my heart is in the throres of incredible bliss and thinking of nuptuals. After considering this for some time, I realized that this now makes 4 out of the last 5 that have... ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-again/293761/30 "2005-03-11T17:06:01Z")
> [@Arwin](#): > > Actually, personality and humor could well be what was under the surface, and you just didn’t know the surface. 😉 (or the one or two MSOs) > > I don’t know if a doper availability thread exists already, actually. I was just thinking it could be a good idea. 😃 Haha, maybe so. What’s an MSO? Just curious. Heh, you can start one if you’re available. I know **bodypoet** started one quite a while ago which ended up well for her at least! Maybe that’s the one you’re thinking of. **The Big Cheese** : Oh, believe me. I tried every which way I knew of (and then some!) to try and get him to be more communicative. I know it might be “a guy thing” (I’m not stereotyping, honest!) to not be into communication, but from what you’ve told me, girls can also be uncommunicative. Thanks for sharing your story… you’re right, this does suck. Right now, I still feel sad… and wondering if it does get easier! Eep. Email me if you would, please… thanks. 🙂 **ArrMatey!** : Heh. I read that one yesterday. Might be up for a re-read, actually. Thanks muchly for the link. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-again/293761/31 "2005-03-11T17:32:46Z")
**Flami** , I just popped in to say something, and realised that others had said it before me, and said it better than me: “Its better to be alone than to be in a relationship and _wish_ you were alone”. You’ve done the right thing for yourself, yeah, things will be rough, but you’re a great person, and things will get easier. Oh, and something **NoClueBoy** told me when I broke up with my last boyfriend was “date Dopers!” I did. It works. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-again/293761/32 "2005-03-11T18:37:50Z")
I’m not sure I ever WISHED it as such, but maybe my subconscious thought about that? _shrug_ Other than the communication / reliability issues, he was a good guy. Too bad, really… but I just couldn’t keep up the relationship with the way things had gotten to be. Ah well, I’ll see how things go. Haha, I should take **NCB** ’s advice then… or start that thread **Arwin** was referencing. Maybe later. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-again/293761.md?page=1)