# I'm single (long) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2003, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816 "2003-10-27T10:05:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/1 "2003-10-27T10:05:41Z")
To all intents and purposes at any rate. The man and I had a huge argument the other night. Over that old chestnut sex, and the fact that I feel that our relationship is about nothing but sex. Due to us living about 300 miles from each other, we don’t get to see each other as often as we like, and when we do see each other, it seems to be that we just end up in bed and do not a lot else. We don’t talk much, we don’t have intelligent discussions, and it appears he resents the fact that I need to expound a lot of energy into my work. So we tried talking. The conversation turned rather rapidly to sex, and how pissed off he was that he wasn’t going to get any when he came to see me, since Ramadhan would have started. This, obviously, upset me, and led me to the conclusion that sex was all he was in this relationship for. We discussed this, he assured me he loved me, and that it wasn’t just the physical stuff he was in this relationship for. Feeling slightly better, I let things lie for a bit. Then came kicker number two. He’s a mathematician, I’m an astrophysicist. He attempted to make intelligent conversation, since apparantly the theoretical astrophysicists have decided that the universe is a Poincare 3-sphere. Now, that meant very little to me, and I asked him to explain what one was, what with him doing topology and things like that. Apparantly, its too hard for me to understand. Great, so I don’t have a modicum of intelligence then. :rolleyes: So, then came the fact that I was working this weekend. Working because I’m at such a stage that if I can kick my theory into shape, and get it into my paper, I’ll have kick-started my career into the upper atmosphere. Apparantly though, I’m _naughty_ (said as one would to a disobedient child), to work at the weekend. Well, as you can imagine, I dislike being treated like this, and I’m sick of spending each evening after I’ve had a conversation with him, crying because I get the distinct impression that a) I’m, thick, and b) he’s just in it for the physical side of things. So, this weekend was the final straw. He came down to see me on Saturday, his excuse, “you’re working too hard, I’m going to distract you.” I was dreading him coming over, and really didn’t want to see him. We had a bit of a discussion, and I decided that I couldn’t cope with this anymore. I am, therefore, single. And you know what, I haven’t felt this relieved for a long time. Just thought I’d share. It feels better to get things off my chest. You can let this thread sink like a stone now. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Phnord\_Prephect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/2 "2003-10-27T10:22:36Z")
At best, you’re simply ‘not right for each other’. At worst, you were being used for sex. Ya did the right thing. If he won’t (barring disability, every man CAN) make intelligent conversation with you, you don’t need him. Date Dopers!! ---
**Author:** ![Phnord\_Prephect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df705f/32.png) [@Phnord\_Prephect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phnord_Prephect)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/3 "2003-10-27T10:24:10Z")
PS: Is there even such a thing as a ‘thick’ astrophysicist? q;} ---
**Author:** ![Reepicheep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@Reepicheep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reepicheep)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/4 "2003-10-27T10:26:45Z")
{{{{Angua}}}} I wish I had words of wisdom, but I only have hugs. ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/5 "2003-10-27T10:31:15Z")
it may be cliched but it sounds like your better of wihtout him ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/6 "2003-10-27T10:34:10Z")
No nookie during Ramadan? Not even at night? ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/7 "2003-10-27T10:36:00Z")
Sounds like a right charmer. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/8 "2003-10-27T10:36:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > \*\*No nookie during Ramadan? Not even at night? \*\* No, not even at night. Its a month of chastity! Thanks guys. I know I’m doing the right thing, I’ve just got to convince him that if he doesn’t change, this is permanent. He’s angling for a reconciliation, but I don’t think I can give him that. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/9 "2003-10-27T10:37:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kal \* > \*\*Sounds like a right charmer. \*\* He was. When I met him. Now maybe I’ve changed, or he’s changed, or he can’t handle the long distance factor or something, but he’s not the same man I started seeing over two years ago. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/10 "2003-10-27T11:39:23Z")
{{{ **Angua** }}} Long distance always sucks, but it sucks worse if your communicating doesn’t mesh during the rare times you are together (been there, done that). (Does this mean your flirting is going to become even more unstoppable?) ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/11 "2003-10-27T11:43:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eva Luna \* > \*\*{{{ **Angua** }}} > > Long distance always sucks, but it sucks worse if your communicating doesn’t mesh during the rare times you are together (been there, done that).\*\* Thank you. Yeah, it does suck, but I figure being single is better than being depressed. > [@](#): > > \*\*(Does this mean your flirting is going to become even more unstoppable?) \*\* Moi? Flirt? Whatever gave you that idea? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/12 "2003-10-27T11:45:16Z")
hmm i wonder… ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/13 "2003-10-27T11:57:46Z")
Well, there’s the old saw, “Being alone is better than wishing that you were.” Good luck to you. ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/14 "2003-10-27T12:23:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Angua \* > \*\*No, not even at night. Its a month of chastity! > > Thanks guys. I know I’m doing the right thing, I’ve just got to convince him that if he doesn’t change, this is permanent. He’s angling for a reconciliation, but I don’t think I can give him that. \*\* You mean I’ve been bantering good-naturedly with a **muslim** on this board! **Shock, Horror!** :eek: [Actually, more like 🙂 😉 :D] P.S. - Sounds like you should definitely dump him! And if you are really a religious/traditionalist muslim, Ramadan is probably a good time to take a step back and contemplate where you’re going, personally speaking. Actually, it’s probably a good idea even if you aren’t… And good luck with your career jump-start! Dan Abarbanel ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/15 "2003-10-27T12:27:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Noone Special \* > \*\*You mean I’ve been bantering good-naturedly with a **muslim** on this board! **Shock, Horror!** :eek: > > [Actually, more like 🙂 😉 :D]\*\* The horror! How will I survive! 😉 > [@](#): > > \*\*P.S. - Sounds like you should definitely dump him! And if you are really a religious/traditionalist muslim, Ramadan is probably a good time to take a step back and contemplate where you’re going, personally speaking. Actually, it’s probably a good idea even if you aren’t… And good luck with your career jump-start! > \*\* I’m not traditionalist in the slightest - I’m Ismaili, which probably sums up just how non-tradtitionalist I am. But I do have respect for my religion, and what certain obligations imply. He doesn’t, he’s an atheist (yes I know!), and can’t imagine why I even follow the religion I do. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/16 "2003-10-27T12:31:27Z")
ismaili?? apologies for my ignorance but??? ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/17 "2003-10-27T12:33:26Z")
Sorry. Ismailis are a sect of Muslims who are renowned for being very liberal and modern. [More info here](http://www.iis.ac.uk/ismailis/ismailis_l2.htm) ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/18 "2003-10-27T12:35:22Z")
{{{{{Angua}}}}} It hurts now, I know – but it sounds like you’re experiencing a healthy degree of relief along withe the sadness. You did the right thing. ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/19 "2003-10-27T12:40:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Angua \* > \*\*I’m not traditionalist in the slightest - I’m Ismaili, which probably sums up just how non-tradtitionalist I am. But I do have respect for my religion, and what certain obligations imply. He doesn’t, he’s an atheist (yes I know!), and can’t imagine why I even follow the religion I do. :rolleyes: \*\* Why should atheism preclude respect for ones religion!? (or, for that matter, someone else’s). I know it doesn’t for me! If he can’t “get it”, he won’t be able to get other cases where you may disagree on ways of life. One more reason to forget about reconciliation. Dan Abarbanel ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816/20 "2003-10-27T12:42:53Z")
thanks for the site on ismaili interesting, very interesting [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-long/209816.md?page=2)