# I'm single! What should I do? And should I begin dating again right away? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 28, 2012, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960 "2012-08-28T19:49:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/1 "2012-08-28T19:49:28Z")
I’m now single again! (feel free to read my other thread: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=15433534#post15433534](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=15433534#post15433534)! I guess two questions… 1.I have lots of things I want to do with my extra time…but fitness is the biggest one. I also want to perhaps arrange less weekend music gigs for myself and begin a calmer chapter of life. I’m also going to take a class. What else should I do? 1. Any thoughts on when I should begin dating again? I think it’s probably best for me to move out and then…I honestly feel ready to look sooner than later. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Doom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Dr\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Doom)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/2 "2012-08-28T19:53:19Z")
No, do not even entertain the idea of dating, yet! Wait at least several months, get right with yourself. Going to the gym on a regular schedule is a great plan, good for the brain, good for the mental state. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/3 "2012-08-28T19:57:54Z")
Give it some time. Be happy getting used to being yourself again. ---
**Author:** ![Bass\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/43a26b/32.png) [@Bass\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bass_Chick)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/4 "2012-08-28T20:04:24Z")
The day you can think about her without feeling sad is when you should start dating. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/5 "2012-08-28T20:05:23Z")
Don’t jump into anything serious too quickly just because you’re lonely, but I don’t think you have to wait months to even start dating at all. No one ever does anyway, even if everyone thinks it’s best (generalization, obviously). ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/6 "2012-08-28T20:06:22Z")
Fuck everything that moves. No dating. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/7 "2012-08-28T20:07:54Z")
> [@Bass\_Chick](#): > > The day you can think about her without feeling sad is when you should start dating. I would say, when you can think about her\* dating someone else \*without feeling sad, then you’re golden. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/8 "2012-08-28T21:24:41Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I would say, when you can think about her\* dating someone else \*without feeling sad, then you’re golden. So basically as soon as you have sex with someone. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/9 "2012-08-28T21:49:17Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Fuck everything that moves. No dating. You need to participate in more advice threads. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/10 "2012-08-28T21:52:47Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Fuck everything that moves. No dating. A woman after my own heart! Generally that’s good advice but given that the OP has started three threads on this situation in less than two hours, he’s probably not ready for even that. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2012, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/11 "2012-08-29T00:15:59Z")
well, no. I would guess NOT right away. OTOH, what the hell do I know? it’s just that 30 sounds so young to me. do what you want to, just remember to try & keep yourself open-hearted if you can. in other words, go _towards_ someone, not away from someone else. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2012, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/12 "2012-08-29T00:43:54Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Fuck everything that moves. No dating. I love you. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2012, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/13 "2012-08-29T01:24:04Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Fuck everything that moves. No dating. Since nobody’s picked up on this… What she said. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2012, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/14 "2012-08-29T02:25:25Z")
No dating. Fuck some of what moves. Take care of your heart. ---
**Author:** ![Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Curiosity\_Kills\_Her](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Curiosity_Kills_Her)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2012, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/15 "2012-08-29T04:23:27Z")
I don’t understand why people are looking for a replacement before they’ve washed off the cologne (perfume, if you were) of the last one. I think that is completely crazy, from the land of no sense. I’ve come to live with the fact that I am in the minority. ---
**Author:** ![prettydorky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f04885/32.png) [@prettydorky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/prettydorky)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2012, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/16 "2012-08-29T04:38:43Z")
Definitely move out first before you start dating. I went through something similar a little less than a year ago and the weirdness is still not totally dissipated. I would venture to say that you will find surprising ways that the two of you are still tied together for several months after this break up. It’s a lot for a new romantic prospect to swallow. I would say even casual encounters should wait until you’ve moved out, if for no other reason than to drastically reduce the risk of having more than one sexual partner at the same time, in case there is ‘breakup sex’. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2012, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/17 "2012-08-29T06:34:42Z")
I think for me the best advice has been to wait until I move out. Once we are completely separate, then I can begin looking. The new person then won’t feel awkward. So I guess two months is the answer for me! ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2012, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/18 "2012-08-29T16:05:06Z")
One strategy is just pursue your interests and get out and do things. You will likely meet someone while you’re just out doing your thing. If you sit at home all the time of course that won’t likely happen. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2012, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/19 "2012-08-29T16:42:33Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Fuck everything that moves. No dating. Sound advice ! ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/20 "2012-08-31T00:05:24Z")
I must be really confused, I go from wanting to go for another relationship, to becoming sad at random moments thinking about my old relationship. Any advice for me here? I foolishly signed up for E-harmony, and found someone there who looks like a great match for me. I don’t want to lose the oppurtunity to meet her, but I wouldn’t want her in any way to deal with my emotional baggage. I guess I should just swallow the pain and wait right? I really want to make sure my values and goals are straight and clear before I pursue someone new. It’s only fair to the next person. I have a theory that a person only attracts people who reflect themselves in some way. In my last relationship, I think we were both too accommodating. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960.md?page=2)