# I'm single! What should I do? And should I begin dating again right away? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 28, 2012, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960 "2012-08-28T19:49:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/21 "2012-08-31T00:11:28Z")
Dude, do not rebound date. We all get the desire to do so and you certainly wouldn’t be the first person in history to jump into dating out of loneliness and/or sadness. Shit, I’ve done it and it was dumb. Suck it up, and figure your shit out before you try another relationship. The rebound play is not good for you and, as you acknowledge, no one wants to date some dude with an airport’s load of baggage. Take a deep breath, and if you ever long for human companionship before you get your head on straight, fuck the need away. If you’re not up for a shag, completely immerse your time in everything there is to do. I joined my first gym and learned to sew after my d-bag husband split. It won’t make it better, but keeping busy helps a little. Do not rebound date. If you do, I’ll find out and I’ll slap you. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/22 "2012-08-31T00:13:46Z")
> [@Quasimodal](#): > > I must be really confused, I go from wanting to go for another relationship, to becoming sad at random moments thinking about my old relationship. > > Any advice for me here? I foolishly signed up for E-harmony, and found someone there who looks like a great match for me. I don’t want to lose the oppurtunity to meet her, but I wouldn’t want her in any way to deal with my emotional baggage. I guess I should just swallow the pain and wait right? > > I really want to make sure my values and goals are straight and clear before I pursue someone new. It’s only fair to the next person. I have a theory that a person only attracts people who reflect themselves in some way. In my last relationship, I think we were both too accommodating. Did anybody else hear this in the voice of Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory? Just me? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/23 "2012-08-31T00:20:12Z")
Actually, I’d like to rescind my advice because dude isn’t going to listen. As I’m not a fan of dishing advice on one of the few things I know about to a brick wall, my new advice is “Date whatever presents itself.” Have at it. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/57b2e6/32.png) [@Quasimodal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodal)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/24 "2012-08-31T00:23:01Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Dude, do not rebound date. We all get the desire to do so and you certainly wouldn’t be the first person in history to jump into dating out of loneliness and/or sadness. Shit, I’ve done it and it was dumb. Suck it up, and figure your shit out before you try another relationship. The rebound play is not good for you and, as you acknowledge, no one wants to date some dude with an airport’s load of baggage. Take a deep breath, and if you ever long for human companionship before you get your head on straight, fuck the need away. If you’re not up for a shag, completely immerse your time in everything there is to do. I joined my first gym and learned to sew after my d-bag husband split. It won’t make it better, but keeping busy helps a little. > > Do not rebound date. If you do, I’ll find out and I’ll slap you. Meanoldlady…thank you 🙂 I really need direct advice like this right now. My brain seems unreliable. Here’s a question: I am doing my best to keep busy, exercise, and hang out with good friends and family…am I avoiding dealing with the sadness? Is there anything else I can do? I often think that because I’m not crying all the time I am being cold (though I do cry sometimes) ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/25 "2012-08-31T00:46:49Z")
Yes, you are avoiding dealing with the sadness, which is the point. I don’t know about you, but I don’t get any joy out of, nor do I see any purpose in, sitting around thinking about how sad I am and what went wrong. If it’s over, it’s over, it sucks, and I want to take mind off of it as best I can. For me, keeping busy helps some, in part because alone time means my mind will wander to The Bad Place, and focusing keeps my mind on what’s in front of or around me, and not whatshisface. If something consumes you, you can never take your mind off it entirely, sure, but distractions do help. Yup, it’ll suck. But then it won’t anymore. ---
**Author:** ![campp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@campp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/campp)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/26 "2012-08-31T00:50:09Z")
Relax on the idea of rebound dating… This from a guy. Yeah, have fun but really… Take it easy, get your self truly “centered”. You will and/or may find your soul mate when you aren’t even looking very hard.\* \*From a guy who had that happen to him and whose wife says the very same thing. ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/27 "2012-08-31T01:21:47Z")
Put it this way. Would you want to date some girl who just broke up with her live-in boyfriend of three years LAST WEEK? Of course not, because that sends up a forest of red flags and warning signs. Chill. Girls will still be there next month or next year. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2012, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/28 "2012-08-31T22:19:59Z")
You may seem “too needy” for a month or six… one more reason to take your time. I had no idea I was sending out those vibes, but it seems I was. Time was the only cure. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/29 "2012-09-01T14:18:57Z")
Housecleaning, alcohol, and meaningless sex. After you’ve hooked up with three or a dozen one nighters, throw in a revolting nostalgia fuck with the ex. Works every time. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/30 "2012-09-01T14:49:33Z")
> [@apollonia](#): > > Put it this way. Would you want to date some girl who just broke up with her live-in boyfriend of three years LAST WEEK? Of course not, because that sends up a forest of red flags and warning signs. > > Chill. Girls will still be there next month or next year. How hot is she? ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2012, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/31 "2012-09-01T14:58:30Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Fuck everything that moves. No dating. Send me your phone number. ---
**Author:** ![benbo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@benbo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/benbo1)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/32 "2012-09-02T11:57:46Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Fuck everything that moves. No dating. A wise person (probably a guy) once said, ‘the best way to get over someone is to get under someone’. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Student\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Student\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Student_Driver)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/33 "2012-09-02T12:37:48Z")
> [@benbo1](#): > > A wise person (probably a guy) once said, ‘the best way to get over someone is to get under someone’. 😉 I used to not believe that too much, but I had a FWB fling last fall that was the perfect remedy from my break-up that had occurred in spring (and was her remedy from a break-up she’d just gone through). Served as a great palate cleanser for the both of us. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960/34 "2012-09-02T15:18:52Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m single! What should I do? What - nobody’s said “masturbate like a motherfuck” yet? You guys are _slow_ today. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-single-what-should-i-do-and-should-i-begin-dating-again-right-away/632960.md?page=1)