# I'm so fucking lonely **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 18, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511 "2003-01-18T19:14:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Rhum\_Runner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rhum\_Runner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhum_Runner)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/121 "2003-01-21T01:48:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blalron \* > \*\*There’s no chance that I might be a decent guy who girls overlook because of my shyness. \*\* Right. No chance. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/122 "2003-01-21T02:24:58Z")
All right, I’ll admit it. I’m shallow. The heart of the matter is not really loneliness: I have plenty of friends, at least guy friends. And a couple of females that could be counted as friends. Just none that meet my standards of attractiveness that are willing to get physical with me. That’s what I want: lust. Pure, simple lust. Some sort of spark, short lived but incredibly spectacular. As for the phone number thing: I have gotten several numbers actually (not recently though), but after awhile I realized that the girls were not into me “that way” so I pretty much gave up on them. When I get the whole “let’s be friends” response, I just say “I’m sorry, but I already have enough friends” and then I don’t bother talking with them anymore. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/123 "2003-01-21T03:44:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blalron \* > \*\*When I get the whole “let’s be friends” response, I just say “I’m sorry, but I already have enough friends” and then I don’t bother talking with them anymore. \*\* I really, honest-to-God, smacked my head when I read this. You’re not just a lamer; you’re a stupid asshole, and I feel sorry for any girl who’s dumb enough to get involved with you. Here’s a hint: when you really care what other people think about you, it shows. When you’re really hoping a girl will fuck you, it shows. Neither of these will make you look good. There are guys in this world who can get laid any time they want, with little effort. If you’re not already one of them, you probably can’t be. Go out, have fun, and talk to women not for the purpose of maybe getting into their pants, but to have an interesting conversation. Make it clear that you’re romantically interested, but that a rejection is no big deal. And you gotta be honest about that last point, cause if you aren’t, it shows. And it doesn’t make you look good. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/124 "2003-01-21T03:53:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blalron \* > \*\*When I get the whole “let’s be friends” response, I just say “I’m sorry, but I already have enough friends” and then I don’t bother talking with them anymore. \*\* And chances are very good that they tell their friends that you’re an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Rhum\_Runner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rhum\_Runner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhum_Runner)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/125 "2003-01-21T04:02:58Z")
What **porcupine** said. You are a fucking idiot. Didn’t I tell you on page one of this train wreck to try and meet as many people as possible? Try and get this through your dense skull, the more people you know, the more likely they are to introduce you to someone that they know, i.e. the more chances you will have of meeting a girl you like. Girls have sisters, cousins, other friends etc. This is beside the obvious point that it can be, wait for it, rewarding to be friends with a woman whom you aren’t actively seeking to fuck. Jesus, I know when I was 18 I wasn’t half as clueless as you. In fact, I hope you never meet a single girl stupid enough to degrade herself by bearing your child. Some genes weren’t meant to be passed on. ---
**Author:** ![mikan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@mikan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikan)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/126 "2003-01-21T04:03:10Z")
Jeez, Blalron, why don’t you just wear a T-shirt that says _**If you think I’m hot and you want to have some rip-roaring sex (with me), call this number right away.**_ Or try sitting on a street corner with a bucket and sign that reads _ **Wanted: girlie action. Please deposit phone numbers.** _ Really, all those girls who refuse to give you their phone numbers are doing so because you sound like a pathetic creep. Manda JO and others have given you some extremely good advice, but you seem unable to hear it. It’s almost as if you’re waiting for someone to come along and tell you _the_ pick-up line that’s guaranteed to get a girl into your bed. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/127 "2003-01-21T05:00:22Z")
This conversation can no longer serve any usefull purpose. Those who wish to think of me as selfish, can continue to do so. Only those who have gone through the same experiences as me could truly understand what it’s like anyway. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/128 "2003-01-21T05:58:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blalron \* > \*\*This conversation can no longer serve any usefull purpose. > > Those who wish to think of me as selfish, can continue to do so. Only those who have gone through the same experiences as me could truly understand what it’s like anyway. \*\* How’s the air up on that cross? I have been through the same experience as you–for a lot longer time–and I think you’re selfish and stupid. If the whole world’s acting like you’ve got a problem, don’t you think that it might have a reason? Take the advice that’s been presented. It really is good. And grow up a little. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/129 "2003-01-21T06:30:44Z")
Hell, I was a virgin until I was 22. I guess you just have to wait long enough for the improbable to happen. ---
**Author:** ![Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glory)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/130 "2003-01-21T06:35:31Z")
> [@](#): > > And a couple of females that could be counted as friends. Just none that meet my standards of attractiveness that are willing to get physical with me. That’s what I want: lust. Pure, simple lust. Some sort of spark, short lived but incredibly spectacular. You’re right, this conversation no longer serves a useful purpose. You want to live some fantasy dream out of the letters to Penthouse. You want a one night stand with a super model. As far as people who’ve shared the same experience as you, ie, the unrealized dream of having some sort of fantastical encounter with a hot chick who just wants to have short lived but incredibly spectacular sex with you, well, they don’t deserve any sympathy either. ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/131 "2003-01-21T06:41:53Z")
Bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/132 "2003-01-21T06:53:29Z")
Geez, a shallow,self absorbed 18yr old who wants to hump a pretty girl. Well I _never_… ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/133 "2003-01-21T07:13:45Z")
Looks like they’ll be some light at the end of the tunnel. A couple of friends and I are planning a trip to Canada after graduation to cruse the canadian bars. Perhaps my hopes for a one night stand will get fufilled. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/134 "2003-01-21T07:16:43Z")
The above was semi-serious, although mindless sex with a stranger is probably not the answer. I’m going to bow out of this thread, it’s getting too inflammatory, and go over Mandy Jo’s advice carefully. It seems to be my best bet. ---
**Author:** ![Creative\_Munster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Creative\_Munster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creative_Munster)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/135 "2003-01-21T07:18:45Z")
I stick with my original advice for this guy. Call an escort service. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/136 "2003-01-21T09:14:24Z")
What a waste of space this turned out to be, Blalron. Good luck getting any advice from anyone now. Foolish boy. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/137 "2003-01-21T09:20:02Z")
Actually, I remember being a bit like you when I was 18, **Blalron**. And you know what? -I- was a self-absorbed ass too. When did I meet a woman to love me? When I stopped looking for one. When I became happy with _myself_. When I made a _ton_ of female friends that there was not one _frisson_ of sexual charge with. When I started to take up hobbies and activities that I wouldn’t previously have done, just because _I_ enjoyed them. When I started to listen to what others - _all_ others - had to say and actually took interest in it. In other words, when I started to do all the things that our hero **Manda Jo** and others have recommended to you. But you can’t just decide to try these things. You have to actually change your whole attitude. You even have to change your personality. And here’s the bad news - I’m not sure that it is possible to do this overnight. For me it wasn’t a conscious thing, rather it was a matter of growing up and experiencing life between the ages of 18 and 21. But remember the goal. And whenever you find yourself angst-ridden and wondering why noone is interested, run through The Manda Rules again and dollars to doughnuts you’ll find the answer in there somewhere. And what to do about it. At the end of the day, you need to be happy with you. Nothing else matters. And there is no validation from a third party in existence that can make up for it. pan ---
**Author:** ![white-tigeress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f475e1/32.png) [@white-tigeress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/white-tigeress)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/138 "2003-01-21T10:49:06Z")
Poor bunny!! ---
**Author:** ![Rhum\_Runner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rhum\_Runner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhum_Runner)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/139 "2003-01-22T02:13:02Z")
[Thought y’all might like to see this: Blalron ignores advice and goes shopping for sex toy.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=157819) ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511/140 "2003-01-22T04:25:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by **Juniper200** \* > Ooh! Better idea! Sign up for a community ed massage class! There will be girls there. You’ll practice technique on each other in class. You can blush and admit to your partner that it’s a slightly uncomfortable situation, but the two of you can laugh it off. You won’t look like a pervert, you’ll meet new people and a good time will be had by all. (YMMV, of course. Offer void in Swaziland and the Dominican Republic.) As a resident of the DominicanRep. and a regular customer of an accredited masseuse I think you are wrong. But you win a candy 🙂 A massage is a wonderful idea. I am sure that humans do need physical contact to retain sanity. At least I do, even if I am a very private person and I hate being touched by strangers I am very “touchy” with my closest ones. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-fucking-lonely/149511.md?page=8)