# I'm so glad the spouse isn't home!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [January 5, 2018, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939 "2018-01-05T19:08:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/1 "2018-01-05T19:08:05Z")
Guilty pleasures. What do you like to eat that would get you in trouble with your Significant Other?
See, I saved the skins and fat from the ham hocks I used for New Year’s dinner. I put them fat-side down into a cast iron frying pan and put them in the oven. Pork cracklin’s! SWMBO would be appalled.
I’m still waiting for her to take a trip so I can try again to make Spicy McHaggis sandwiches.
On the Not Guilty side, since the pan is out and lubed, I can make some more cornbread.
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### Author:  [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/2 "2018-01-05T19:50:08Z")
When the wife’s away, I hit the super-spicy stuff hard. She’ll eat a reasonable amount of spice, but when I cook with hot peppers, it tends to irritate her breathing (both her and her mother start hacking when I cook up anything with what I consider a reasonable spice level in the house.) I seem to be immune to it. (And even with the hottest peppers, I’ve never needed to wear gloves or any of that stuff it seems they recommend.)
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### Author:  [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/3 "2018-01-05T20:12:04Z")
Lobster tomalley is my guilty pleasure. Hubby hates to see me eating it (supposedly it contains environmental toxins) but when we have a fresh lobster-fest I’ll save the heads and eat the tomalley while he’s out. Yum!!!
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### Author:  [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/4 "2018-01-05T20:16:55Z")
[Cartman]Whateva, whateva, I do what I want![/Cartman]
But if my husband wasn’t around, I’d eat a load of Kraft Mac & Cheese.
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### Author:  [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/5 "2018-01-05T20:29:03Z")
Delivery from Five Guys. They’re on GrubHub.
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### Author:  [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/6 "2018-01-05T20:46:59Z")
Ice cream, he knows it hurts my stomach, he fusses at me for eating it.
I don’t care, I have to have it. Good vanilla ice cream with Hersheys chocolate syrup.
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### Author:  [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/7 "2018-01-05T20:50:00Z")
Trouble? I don’t get in trouble.
On the other hand, if I’m alone, I’ll help myself to make or order stuff my wife wouldn’t want for dinner (occasionally, we’ll make separate suppers for ourselves eating together, but very rarely): lamb, veal and challah kugel (think bread stuffing) come to mind. I’ll also buy out fried chicken. My wife doesn’t hate that, but we don’t usually buy stuff at the take-out counters of our local supermarket, we either eat in, or order from restaurants. And we have no local restaurants that serve fried chicken.
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### Author:  [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/8 "2018-01-05T20:50:38Z")
I’m kind of the other way around. My husband does all the cooking, and he likes easy things to make (Japanese style) like curry rice, or cream stew, both over rice, and both very heavy. Then I have to try to practice portion control, which is a concept unknown to him, and hard for me when I’m hungry.
So when I’m on my own I take the opportunity to eat lighter and healthier.
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### Author:  [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/9 "2018-01-05T20:53:15Z")
I didn’t catch her name.
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### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/10 "2018-01-05T21:20:03Z")
When my gf goes away for work I like to try previously untested recipes to see how they turn out. My first attempt at Chateaubriand en Croute, for instance, was while she was out of town.
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### Author:  [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/11 "2018-01-05T21:38:25Z")
I like to eat childish comfort food when he’s away. Such as:
Malt-o-Meal
Peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Milk toast
He doesn’t consider any of these to be real food and can’t understand why I like them.
I also like offal meats and game, which he hates. So I’ll cook for myself:
Veal liver and onions
Duck breast, rare
Sweetbreads, if I can ever find them
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### Author:  [@diggerwam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diggerwam)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/12 "2018-01-05T21:39:02Z")
generally, I’ll do 2 things while she’s gone for business. I’ll make a frozen cheese pizza and spice the hell out of it and watch a game (nba, nfl, nhl preferably) and 2nd I’ll go out to a chinese buffet in town. Neither I’m allowed to do while she’s here.
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### Author:  [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/13 "2018-01-05T21:51:38Z")
Chicken livers, fried in a pan
shrimp and grits
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### Author:  [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/14 "2018-01-05T22:10:45Z")
Yeah, I’ll do chicken livers with onions sometimes, too, when she’s out. It not so much that I’m not “allowed” to make these foods so much as, since I do all the cooking, I’d rather not do two main dishes (plus scrounging up food for the almost-2 and 3 1/2 year old to eat).
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### Author:  [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/15 "2018-01-05T22:45:53Z")
OTOH, Mr.Wrekker eats potato chip sandwiches when I am gone. White bread, mayo and ruffles chips. Yuk!
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### Author:  [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/16 "2018-01-05T22:58:21Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#):
>
> I didn’t catch her name.
Eatin’ ain’t cheatin’!\*
\*yes it is.
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### Author:  [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/17 "2018-01-05T23:31:30Z")
I’m down with the chicken liver and onions (with a hard-boiled egg mixed-in), pureed, then spread on crackers. No way I can make then when my wife is at home.
When she is away, which is vanishingly rare; sardines, smelts, and any Indian food (curry, specifically).
I will also make spicy sir-fry. Interesting there are a few posts indicating sneaking additional spiciness when the spouse is out.
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### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/18 "2018-01-05T23:31:54Z")
Last time the wife went on a business trip I hit fast food hard, just because I usually don’t. But if I cook it’s stuff like I used to make in college. Usually one pan and not at all balanced. One of the favorites is to cut up a ham steak and toss the pieces into a pan with some mustard and some brown sugar. Stir and flip until well-heated and glazed. Then dump in a can of fruit cocktail and a splash of rum. Flambé and reduce until thickened. Hits all the guilty pleasure spots and doesn’t totally trash the kitchen.
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### Author:  [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2018, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/19 "2018-01-05T23:55:34Z")
> [@snowthx](#):
>
> I will also make spicy sir-fry. Interesting there are a few posts indicating sneaking additional spiciness when the spouse is out.
See, the thing is, as much as wife claims not to like spicy food, whenever I try to “spouse-proof” my food by just ramping the chile peppers up to 10 with habaneros and all that, she’ll still end up eating it if they’re left as leftovers in the fridge. Hey! That’s _my_ food!
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [January 6, 2018, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-glad-the-spouse-isnt-home/805939/20 "2018-01-06T00:06:37Z")
There’s no trouble, but some things I eat when she’s gone because it kinda grosses her out; like peanut butter and mayo sandwiches or just boiled macaroni slathered in butter and salt. She also doesn’t like the smell of popcorn popping on the stove, so I usually have that when she’s out. But really, I sometimes have those things when she’s home, too.
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