# I'm so horny today. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 3, 2004, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245 "2004-03-03T04:46:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![blasphmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@blasphmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blasphmer)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/1 "2004-03-03T04:46:03Z")
Errrr…I think I’m going out of my mind. Just this last whole week has been so mentally stim-u-lating. I’ve made it 24 years untouched but I feel a calling towards the impure side. Please someone touch me, I want to be dirty. 🙂 I really don’t know why I posted this but I had to tell someone and you guys were as good as anyone. ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/2 "2004-03-03T04:52:12Z")
Think of Bea Arthur naked. That should fix ya. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/3 "2004-03-03T05:00:43Z")
> [@JavaMaven1](#): > > Think of Bea Arthur naked. Oh thanks a lot, now _I’m_ horny. ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/4 "2004-03-03T05:55:56Z")
So, uh, how can we help you out, **blasphmer**? 😉 I only made it to 19. It was a few more years before it meant something. Good lluck! ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/5 "2004-03-03T13:20:44Z")
Warm weather and the coming of Spring always does it to me - something in the limbic system says “Warm weather - time to mate.” Luckily, my limbic system knows nothing about my vasectomy, otherwise it would say “Warm weather - time to fuck.” ---
**Author:** ![OneYogini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9e5f3/32.png) [@OneYogini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneYogini)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/6 "2004-03-03T14:28:42Z")
GAH!! I had to read this thread! I’ve been having issues the past couple of weeks…too much info to go into…but when I read… “Please someone touch me, I want to be dirty.” GAH! I want to go home and touch myself!!! lol! Sorry if that was TMI! (Ha - not really! lol!) So, uh, **B** , how YOU doin? lol! And, er, um, where do you live??? ---
**Author:** ![Bandanaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ab097/32.png) [@Bandanaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bandanaman)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/7 "2004-03-03T14:34:07Z")
I got punched 3 times this morning. I was cunning my SO, and I’d stop just before she would “arrive”. Pissed her off to no end. Apparently teasing isn’t always good. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/8 "2004-03-03T14:48:22Z")
Horny here also. It’s been two years to the month since my wife left. Haven’t been with anyone since. Unless you count the internet. Thank God for the internet. What? ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/9 "2004-03-03T15:24:22Z")
It’s the muck. I swear it. The smell of muck always does it for me. I think **plnnr** has it right. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/10 "2004-03-03T15:38:47Z")
> [@plnnr](#): > > Warm weather and the coming of Spring always does it to me - something in the limbic system says “Warm weather - time to mate.” Luckily, my limbic system knows nothing about my vasectomy, otherwise it would say “Warm weather - time to fuck.” Yep. Testosterone levels fluctuate over the course of the year, peaking in the spring and bottoming out in the winter. For me, it’s usually April before it gets bad, but YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/11 "2004-03-03T15:46:13Z")
> [@Bandanaman](#): > > I got punched 3 times this morning. I was cunning my SO, and I’d stop just before she would “arrive”. Pissed her off to no end. > > Apparently teasing isn’t always good. Great. Now I have an image of Edmund Blackadder performing oral sex. I’ve never seen that word in abbreviated verb form. And yes, stopping just before climax sucks, not in a good way. Stay strong, **blasphmer**! Its’ all the uncovered flesh coming out after a long cold winter. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/12 "2004-03-03T15:48:05Z")
> [@plnnr](#): > > Warm weather and the coming of Spring always does it to me - something in the limbic system says “Warm weather - time to mate.” Luckily, my limbic system knows nothing about my vasectomy, otherwise it would say “Warm weather - time to fuck.” Time for a Limbic Dance competion: how low can You go…? \ ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/13 "2004-03-03T16:29:41Z")
Go ahead and smack the guy, dude. Spilleth your seed on the ground like my main man Onan. No one will know except you and your hairdresser. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/14 "2004-03-03T16:38:03Z")
> [@blasphmer](#): > > Errrr…I think I’m going out of my mind. Just this last whole week has been so mentally stim-u-lating. I’ve made it 24 years untouched but I feel a calling towards the impure side. Please someone touch me, I want to be dirty. 🙂 > > I really don’t know why I posted this but I had to tell someone and you guys were as good as anyone. Is it one large horn in the middle, or two smaller ones protruding from each side? Can you just cover them with a big hat? Also, are you a chick? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![UselessGit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/74df32/32.png) [@UselessGit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UselessGit)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/15 "2004-03-03T17:16:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Is it one large horn in the middle, or two smaller ones protruding from each side? And there goes my “cylindrical” joke. Thanks a lot, **Really Not All That Bright**. Lucky for you it wasn’t all that funny… Well - lucky for all of us, I suppose. Now where was I … Yeah, stay out of my booze! ---
**Author:** ![noname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/58f4c7/32.png) [@noname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/noname)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/16 "2004-03-03T17:26:30Z")
> [@blasphmer](#): > > Please someone touch me I am touching you, **blasphemer** ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/17 "2004-03-03T17:37:05Z")
> [@](#): > > “Warm weather - time to fuck.” Lessons in foreplay from **plnnr** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/18 "2004-03-03T20:32:51Z")
Luckily, my wife feels the same way I do, Shirley. “Skip the foreplay - let’s just do it.” ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/19 "2004-03-03T21:29:54Z")
OP Post Date: **Yesterday, (3/02/03) 11:46 PM** - I’m so horny today This Just In: 11 Hours Ago - Pravda Report - **An earthquake in Kamchatka** > [@](#): > > An earthquake measuring 4.9 points on the Richter scale was registered near the shores of Kamchatka (Russia’s Far East), RIA Novosti was told in the Kamchatka seismology centre… Me thinks the call towards the impure side was answered, culminating in a round of dirty touching that caused reverberations felt on the other side of the world. Coincidence? ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2004, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245/20 "2004-03-03T21:54:19Z")
> [@Amp](#): > > Horny here also. It’s been two years to the month since my wife left. Haven’t been with anyone since. Unless you count the internet. Thank God for the internet. What? Just when I start to feel sorry for myself, someone comes along and ruins it for me. I haven’t done the deed in, like a week. Then here comes **Amp** saying its been two _years_. I feel for ya, **Amp**. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-horny-today/232245.md?page=2)