# I'm so lonesome I could die. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 23, 2012, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103 "2012-06-23T22:47:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kmshrader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b782af/32.png) [@kmshrader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kmshrader)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/21 "2012-06-24T02:22:08Z")
Until I know otherwise I’m going to assume that no-one would be callous enough to fake a story like this. My personal experience probably doesn’t help much, but my father died somewhat suddenly a year and a half ago, and this past Father’s Day wasn’t pretty. Anger, tension, sadness, and a lot of alcohol. Some things I can recommend NOT doing: - Expecting people to know the right thing to say. They won’t. They won’t even know what NOT to say, and they’ll prove that with their shallow sympathy and meaningless platitudes, over and over and over if you don’t correct them. They only want to help, but you need to remember that sometimes it’s about you, and you should make your wishes clear, particularly to close friends. Tell them what you want to talk about, or not talk about, or phrases that you’ve heard too many times and now just frustrate you. If they’re good friends, they’ll listen without offense. - Don’t think getting the legal crap out of the way will make it “over.” - Don’t be alone. Six weeks after my dad died I left for seven months in a foreign country. Much of that was spent with obvious-in-retrospect symptoms of depression. You need friends and family. If you need a change of scenery, make sure you take at least one person with you. - Don’t put off grieving. It doesn’t go away. As soon as I got back, the familiar scenery, the people…it all came rushing back, and it was awful. Accept your grief as a part of your new self, and do your best to work through it. Yes, grieving is a process. Yes, the numbness and anger is part of it. Relish it. Be angry. Accept your feelings and scream at the world, if it helps. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/22 "2012-06-24T02:22:17Z")
My ass metaphorically bleeds for you. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/23 "2012-06-24T02:24:47Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > In this instance _especially_, I am confounded as to WHY this person would concoct a story like this out of thin air and post it on an internet messageboard. To what end? I understand that such a person would need to be a loser and possibly mentally disturbed but still; what is the freakin’ motivation here??? 😕 Oh…I don’t know…old fashioned attention whoring? ---
**Author:** ![storyteller0910](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/24 "2012-06-24T02:25:04Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > No, YOU come on. (Besides, what’s up with the Elvis lyrics? You really think a grieving widower would quote The King?) So you don’t feel like the risk of being nasty to someone in a bad place in life (if he’s being honest) outweighs the potential satisfaction of being nasty to someone who’s faking (if he’s not)? It seems like a worthwhile risk to you, because you’ve had sufficient experience with people who’ve lost their entire families to know what they will and won’t quote and can therefore tell with certainty that the OP is lying? You should have a TV show. ---
**Author:** ![urban1a](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e47c2d/32.png) [@urban1a](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/urban1a)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/25 "2012-06-24T02:25:17Z")
I very much agree on the grief counseling. Call the local mental health center or ask around the hospices in town. They are sure to know of such groups. Bob ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/26 "2012-06-24T02:25:45Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > In this instance _especially_, I am confounded as to WHY this person would concoct a story like this out of thin air and post it on an internet messageboard. To what end? I understand that such a person would need to be a loser and possibly mentally disturbed but still; what is the freakin’ motivation here??? 😕 I think some people are afraid of looking stupid if it turns out the story isn’t legit so that’s why they’re jumping the gun and assuming it must not be real. However, I don’t really see it as a big deal if it does turn out to be untrue. “O noes, I said something sympathetic to someone who claimed to have experienced a tragedy.” Who cares? I think that if someone was looking to cause trouble, they would enjoy seeing the controversy caused by accusations of trolling as much or more than they would enjoy seeing people giving the benefit of the doubt and offering support or advice on grief. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/27 "2012-06-24T02:29:20Z")
If he’s sincere, I’m sorry for his loss. But all the crap we’ve had lately makes me a skeptic. ---
**Author:** ![storyteller0910](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/28 "2012-06-24T02:29:48Z")
> [@lavenderviolet](#): > > I think some people are afraid of looking stupid if it turns out the story isn’t legit so that’s why they’re jumping the gun and assuming it must not be real. However, I don’t really see it as a big deal if it does turn out to be untrue. “O noes, I said something sympathetic to someone who claimed to have experienced a tragedy.” Who cares? I think that if someone was looking to cause trouble, they would enjoy seeing the controversy caused by accusations of trolling as much or more than they would enjoy seeing people giving the benefit of the doubt and offering support or advice on grief. Honestly, if you don’t believe it’s real… just don’t post. Then you don’t have to look stupid if it turns out to be not legit but you also don’t run the risk of looking like the world’s biggest jerk if it is. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/29 "2012-06-24T02:31:06Z")
> [@Frosty\_Camel](#): > > I’m not sure that this is appropriate for such a new member, but I need a listening ear. If someone here would be so kind as to read this and respond I would be grateful. > > My wife of 16 years and my three children, ages 14, 13, and 10 were hit a week ago head on by a drunk driver. All four died instantly. The past week has been a whirlwind of family, well-wishers, funeral services and burials. Family and friends being here have held me together. That all changed this morning when I took my sister to the airport. Everyone is gone now and it’s just me here. > > I seriously want to die. I’m not suicidal, but if I were to suddenly have a heart attack I wouldn’t complain a bit. I just don’t know how to go on without my family. My three precious kids who all showed so much potential. My wife, who I started dating in the 10th grade. Life can change drastically with the blink of an eye. > > I am teetering between denial and outright rage. Part of me believes that when I go to bed tonight I will find the warm and welcoming body of my wife welcoming me, saying “I didn’t really die in that car crash.” The other part of me wants to start throwing things, smashing things, tearing the house apart. She’s the only woman I’ve ever been with. > > Right now I just can’t seem to believe I will go on. My best friend is a doctor and I’ve called him, but he is unable to break away right now, but has promised me he will come over as soon as he can. > > If there is anyone here who has suffered through such a loss, please share with me how you managed to get through it. I simply don’t know what to do, how to think, how to act. > > thank you for reading this. All you can do right now is keep on doing what you’re already doing. You just keep on enduring. I won’t say it’ll get better but it will eventually get easier. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/30 "2012-06-24T02:37:21Z")
> [@kmshrader](#): > > Until I know otherwise I’m going to assume that no-one would be callous enough to fake a story like this. You’re new on the Internet, right. And see this recent case of a brand new poster with a tragic story. Which turned out not to be true. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=656130&highlight=umkay+passed](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=656130&highlight=umkay+passed) [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=656188&highlight=umkay+passed](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=656188&highlight=umkay+passed) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/31 "2012-06-24T02:37:22Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > If he’s sincere, I’m sorry for his loss. But all the crap we’ve had lately makes me a skeptic. I try to always give people the benefit of the doubt. If a troll lies to me, what did I lose? If they really needed attention badly enough to make up a story, then it cost me nothing to give them the attention they needed. And if a person is telling me the truth, then I’ll be glad I believed them. ---
**Author:** ![mister\_nyx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@mister\_nyx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mister_nyx)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/32 "2012-06-24T02:43:30Z")
To the guy who started this thread: I hope you can find some peace. No one should have to go through what you are. > [@Guinastasia](#): > > If he’s sincere, I’m sorry for his loss. But all the crap we’ve had lately makes me a skeptic. What in God’s name is wrong with you? ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/33 "2012-06-24T03:07:16Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Oh come on. I stand by my post. I feel for the OP and expressed as much. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/34 "2012-06-24T03:18:16Z")
> [@mister\_nyx](#): > > To the guy who started this thread: I hope you can find some peace. No one should have to go through what you are. > What in God’s name is wrong with you? Nothing’s “wrong” with me. We’ve just had quite a few sob stories around here lately. That’s all. ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/35 "2012-06-24T03:22:51Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > If he’s sincere, I’m sorry for his loss. But all the crap we’ve had lately makes me a skeptic. Is it absolutely necessary to respond to it though? No one’s keeping score regarding who fell for what story. On the off chance that this guy’s whole family just died it seems like the sensitive thing would be to just ignore the thread if you don’t believe it. Poor guy, seriously, that would be awful. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/36 "2012-06-24T03:33:18Z")
> [@Zjestika](#): > > it seems like the sensitive thing would be to just ignore the thread if you don’t believe it. Right? Why question the story of someone coming here claiming their family just died? Either way the outcome is the same; the guy stops posting. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/37 "2012-06-24T03:39:47Z")
All right, I’ve already made one note in here. This hijack ends now. Do not continue the hijack concerning other posters or threads. **Anyone talking about, mentioning, referencing, or replying to any earlier post in here about other topics/events, beyond this post, will be warned.** If you really want to talk about it, use the Pit, PM each other, or open a thread in ATMB talking about your concerns. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/38 "2012-06-24T03:46:02Z")
Is it a warning if I point out that “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry” (not die) was by [Hank Williams](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvW6_-TP5cs), not Elvis? ETA: D’oh! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/39 "2012-06-24T03:49:02Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Is it a warning if I point out that “I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry” (not die) was by [Hank Williams](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FvW6_-TP5cs), not Elvis? Yeah, but it was also part of the chorus of “Heartbreak Hotel”, IIRC. Okay, carry on. FWIW, I AM sorry for the OP. ---
**Author:** ![tesseract](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@tesseract](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tesseract)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2012, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103/40 "2012-06-24T04:49:45Z")
**Frosty Camel** , I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through. I am so sorry. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-lonesome-i-could-die/626103.md?page=3)