# "I'm so rich that I... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 24, 2015, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409 "2015-04-24T02:40:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2015, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/41 "2015-04-25T19:37:18Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > I thought Jerry Lewis donated his clothes to charity, not threw them away. Am I wrong? I saw Jerry Lewis once… and when I was done I donated him to the MDA. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2015, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/42 "2015-04-26T01:14:46Z")
I’m so rich that when I buy a personal jet I buy a small one - that way I can fit it inside the bigger personal jet I buy to fly my personal jet around in. ---
**Author:** ![Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58956e/32.png) [@Emtar\_KronJonDerSohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emtar_KronJonDerSohn)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2015, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/43 "2015-04-26T01:32:32Z")
I’m _literally_ a thousandaire. (and I mean the original correct definition of literally that DOESN’T mean figuratively) ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2015, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/44 "2015-04-26T03:46:12Z")
I’m so rich, that \*when \*I decide to go to the beach in the Caribbean , all I do is walk to the back yard and it’s all arranged - luxury helicopter to aprivate airport, private jet arranged, land somewhere with immigration is covered (whether it’s my own island or Richard Branson’s), and another luxury ride to my luxury pad with private beach and anything I want within a 5 minute wait time. That’s rich. ---
**Author:** ![Spud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spud/32/347_2.png) [@Spud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spud)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2015, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/45 "2015-04-26T03:51:24Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > I’m so rich, that \*when \*I decide to go to the beach in the Caribbean , all I do is walk to the back yard and it’s all arranged - luxury helicopter to aprivate airport, private jet arranged, land somewhere with immigration is covered (whether it’s my own island or Richard Branson’s), and another luxury ride to my luxury pad with private beach and anything I want within a 5 minute wait time. > > That’s rich. I’m so rich, that \*when \*I decide to go to the beach in the Caribbean , all I do is walk to the back yard. Period. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2015, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/46 "2015-04-26T04:54:20Z")
And when you want to go to a 5000 sf penthouse overlooking Central Park, all you do is walk to the back yard… ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2015, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/47 "2015-04-26T05:24:05Z")
I once bought a yacht simply to use the bottle cap opener built into the galley wall to open a bottle coke, then I discarded the boat. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2015, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/48 "2015-04-26T06:13:11Z")
I’m so rich that I have people to bring the back yard to me. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2015, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/49 "2015-04-26T06:43:21Z")
… my real time net asset value estimate is always off by $1 billion, give or take. ---
**Author:** ![sara20](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@sara20](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sara20)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2015, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/50 "2015-04-26T09:32:05Z")
You should wipe your ass with baby wipes, you will thank me later. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2015, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/51 "2015-04-26T12:45:29Z")
Murder is cheaper than divorce, even counting legal fees. ---
**Author:** ![Octarine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/22d042/32.png) [@Octarine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Octarine)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2015, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/52 "2015-04-26T15:14:35Z")
. . . when people protest against me, they have to shout, “We are the 99.9999999999 percent!” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2015, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/53 "2015-04-27T13:36:13Z")
I’m so rich that I use face soap on my entire body. ---
**Author:** ![Dioptre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/278dde/32.png) [@Dioptre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dioptre)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2015, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/54 "2015-04-27T13:44:47Z")
I’m so rich that when Chuck Norris fought my entire personal army, my army almost won. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2015, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/55 "2015-04-27T13:52:15Z")
I’m so rich that I don’t use vulgar money with pictures of dead presidents on them—I bring Barack, Bill, Jimmy and the two Georges with me to stores and trade them for merchandise. ---
**Author:** ![DrumBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e79b87/32.png) [@DrumBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrumBum)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2015, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/56 "2015-04-27T15:52:36Z")
… that I have my own [app](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Am_Rich). ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2015, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/57 "2015-04-27T16:03:27Z")
I’m so rich that I paid for my copy of WinRAR. It’s what Palmer Luckey mentioned as what he finally bought with all his money, and that’s probably the thing that would stand out for me too. WinRaR is forever free if you want it to be. I never had to pay for that. I _chose_ to pay for that. ---
**Author:** ![Haldurson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/51bf81/32.png) [@Haldurson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haldurson)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2015, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/58 "2015-04-27T17:58:25Z")
**I’m so rich that** nations come to me when they need a loan Banks can’t pay interest on my savings, as it would bankrupt them. The entire state of Texas would fit on my patio. My car is not climate-controlled – it’s so big that it has its own climate. My house is so big, that the sun orbits around it. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2015, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/59 "2015-04-27T18:48:34Z")
> [@Haldurson](#): > > **I’m so rich that** > …My house is so big, that the sun orbits around it. Jiminy Cricket, that’s a mere summer cottage for me, son. _My_ house is so big, that it has stopped the expansion of the Universe and everything is going to collapse in upon it during a Big Crunch in 14 billion years. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2015, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/60 "2015-04-27T18:53:52Z")
The old version (from Cracked if memory serves) was “my butler doesn’t look like Howard Hughes; he IS Howard Hughes.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409.md?page=4)