# "I'm so rich that I... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 24, 2015, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409 "2015-04-24T02:40:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2015, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/61 "2015-04-27T19:18:38Z")
This planet is getting a little frayed around the edges. I think I’ll buy a new one. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/62 "2015-04-28T00:47:47Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > This planet is getting a little frayed around the edges. I think I’ll buy a new one. You want to buy a planet? No problem. Just stop by and pick one out of my inventory. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2015, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/63 "2015-04-28T14:13:01Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > You want to buy a planet? No problem. Just stop by and pick one out of my inventory. Pfft! Galaxies, my boy, galaxies. Here, take a few as gifts for your friends. ---
**Author:** ![wisernow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@wisernow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wisernow)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2015, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/64 "2015-04-29T04:27:49Z")
You don’t know it, but all of you who have posted to this thread, including those who will, actually work for me. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2015, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/65 "2015-04-29T10:49:24Z")
> [@wisernow](#): > > You don’t know it, but all of you who have posted to this thread, including those who will, actually work for me. Well, _yes_, but it’s just a hobby job. You know, see how the common folk live by pretending to be on their level for a bit. One wouldn’t want to get completely out of touch. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2015, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/66 "2015-04-29T12:33:30Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Pfft! Galaxies, my boy, galaxies. Here, take a few as gifts for your friends. My bag of holding just reached its limit. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2015, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/67 "2015-04-29T17:33:54Z")
You can put your bag of holding in mine. One of the side pockets should do. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2015, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/68 "2015-04-29T17:42:11Z")
> [@GaryM](#): > > I have a flock of geese trained to wipe my ass with their necks! You, sir, are truly [Gargantuan](http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Gargantua/Chapter_XIII). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/69 "2015-04-30T13:36:15Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > My bag of holding just reached its limit. “bag of holding”? Please explain. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/70 "2015-04-30T13:39:32Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > “bag of holding”? Please explain. [Explanation](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bag_of_holding). Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/71 "2015-04-30T13:41:56Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > [Explanation](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bag_of_holding). > > Regards, > Shodan Much obliged. Obviously I was never a D&Der. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/72 "2015-04-30T14:09:01Z")
**I’m so rich…** I have no concept of money, everything just happens when I want it to. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2015, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/73 "2015-04-30T14:14:41Z")
I eat filet mignon seven times a day My bathtub’s filled with Perrier I but a dozen cars when I’m in the mood I hire somebody to chew my food I buy monogrammed Kleenex by the ton ---
**Author:** ![Schwachen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@Schwachen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Schwachen)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2015, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/74 "2015-05-01T22:47:19Z")
… I’m going to amend the whole set of federal building laws so that any staircase must be built with 1ft high steps and be no more than 2ft wide. Existing staircases will be immediately modified to meet requirements. And second floors are no higher than the sum of floors 1 and 3 divided by 2. Oh and I’ll make it so that cars can only use either green or lilac tail lights, the latter on weekdays only. Seeing people struggle to obey would be fun. As they get used to a set of my rules, I’ll create random new ones. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2015, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/75 "2015-05-06T02:32:26Z")
I’m so rich that I tell Bill Gates what charities to spend his money on. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2015, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/76 "2015-05-06T02:56:22Z")
> [@carnut](#): > > I’m so rich that I tell Bill Gates what charities to spend his money on. Bill Gates? Oh, thanks for reminding me. It’s time for my butler to take him out for his nightly poop. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2015, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/77 "2015-05-06T03:25:37Z")
> [@Tibby or Not Tibby](#): > > Bill Gates? > > Oh, thanks for reminding me. It’s time for my butler to take him out for his nightly poop. I swear, it’s difficult to find billionaires who are housebroken these days. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2015, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/78 "2015-05-07T10:18:13Z")
I’m so rich that my face is next to the word “rich” in the dictionary. Most dictionaries don’t have pictures, so I paid a legion of flunkies to stick Polaroids of me into every dictionary they could find. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2015, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/79 "2015-05-07T11:59:53Z")
> [@Double\_Foolscap](#): > > I’m so rich that my face is next to the word “rich” in the dictionary. > > Most dictionaries don’t have pictures, so I paid a legion of flunkies to stick Polaroids of me into every dictionary they could find. Meh. Who uses a dictionary anymore? _ **Really** _ rich is when your picture is the first result for a Google search on “rich”. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2015, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409/80 "2015-05-07T16:50:03Z")
I’m so rich that when I eat Chinese, I eat Chinese PEOPLE. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-rich-that-i/718409.md?page=3)