# I'm so upset I can't even think of a proper Pit title (ed: cheating ex and STD) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 11, 2012, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144 "2012-01-11T07:38:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/1 "2012-01-11T07:38:48Z")
Seriously. Guy: I don’t want a relationship anymore. Me: ? Guy: I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. I just can’t. Me: Eghh… Guy: And PS I have chlamydia. Me: ?! Please tell me it’s not from some Vegas hooker. Guy: … Me: ?!?! _Seriously_? :smack: Now I’ve had friends who have been dealing with STDs since college and this is my first ‘holy fuck!’ moment. But really? I can’t stop crying. This is a weak Pitting because I can’t even think of proper words. I thought about posting something in GQ when I wanted to know if I should be worried about pain and PID and what point to go back to the doc, but I didn’t want to put that in GQ for some reason, and I kind of wanted advice on if going to a clinic in the AM was needed as it hurt so much, so I was going to post in IMHO in case anyone else had been through this, but then I just decided it was too embarrassing. He told me yesterday, I took meds today, and have been miserable and in pain for about twelve hours. Before it was just a couple of twinges and I thought it was ovulation or something I ate. BUT I just found out via IM that this person - the person I was dating - used prostitutes about five times since we last dated (2008) and slept with me before his most recent testing. Of course, knowing my agoraphobic, introverted and socially awkward ex, I believed him when he said he had _one_ one night stand over a year ago. Because condoms always create an allergic reaction (sorry if it’s TMI right now), and our closeness and history…sigh…after my Year of No Sex/Relationships resolution was up… The last time he dumped me I was in the middle of eating ice cream. He totally ruined the ice cream. I said, “You couldn’t have fucking waited til I was done?!” But this…I mean…what kind of fuckhead does that? _bursts into tears_ Apologies for the weak Pitting. As some of you have probably picked up, I am a prude on most sexual matters. This is…I feel violated. And this is the one person I’ve ever been able to “spoon” with and fall asleep. I hate him. And now I’m going to be especially worried about other STDs as well for months and months…not to mention not being able to trust anyone for a long, long time. Yes, I Pit him. I pit him for lying to me on all counts, I Pit him for sleeping with me before his most recent test (again; liar!), I Pit him for making me want to vomit, I Pit him for dumping me because he got cold feet (though I’m fine with it now!), I Pit him for my weak heart, I Pit him for making me feel gross and used, and I Pit him for thinking it is now a good idea to get a signed note from a doc before touching _anyone_ because apparently you can’t trust the people that are very close to you ! I am going to be freaked out about STDs for months. I also Pit him for living in a secured building as it will be that much harder to get closer to him with a my paring knife. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/2 "2012-01-11T07:51:47Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > BUT I just found out via IM that this person - the person I was dating - used prostitutes about five times since we last dated (2008) and slept with me before his most recent testing. What does that mean, “since we last dated”? What is the nature of your relationship with this guy? The way you describe it, you make it sound pretty casual and non-committed. Sorry about what happened, and he was pretty inconsiderate, but - it’s not the end of the world. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/3 "2012-01-11T07:56:05Z")
People can be selfish and cruel. That’s life. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/4 "2012-01-11T07:59:02Z")
He could have at least waited until you finished the ice cream. I bet it was vanilla too. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/5 "2012-01-11T08:16:58Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > What does that mean, “since we last dated”? > > What is the nature of your relationship with this guy? The way you describe it, you make it sound pretty casual and non-committed. Sorry about what happened, and he was pretty inconsiderate, but - it’s not the end of the world. We had a relationship in 2008 - all the way to the the boyfriend/girlfriend Facebook-linked variety. We started dating again in December. He saw a prostitute in November. I had no idea. I didn’t mean to make it sound “casual and non-committed”. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/6 "2012-01-11T08:49:28Z")
Men are dogs. Only some of them bark. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/7 "2012-01-11T08:53:40Z")
“knowing my agoraphobic, introverted and socially awkward ex” This, I would not have expected. “after my Year of No Sex/Relationships resolution was up” Why did you feel the need to have a year of no sex/relationships? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/8 "2012-01-11T11:03:16Z")
He’s a fucking asshole. I’m so sorry he’s done this. In other news, there are [non-latex condoms](http://www.google.com/products/catalog?hl=en&cp=6&gs_id=10&xhr=t&q=non+latex+condom&tok=qc7Z5XZaRO_7VrM1PVBsJQ&gs_upl=&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.,cf.osb&biw=1252&bih=548&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=7154385506835949159&sa=X&ei=zmsNT_GlG8nF0AHT7qnFBg&sqi=2&ved=0CFwQ8wIwAA) at your drugstore. They’re made of polyurethane, they’ve been shown to be effective at preventing the spread of STIs, they don’t have that funky condom smell, and they are even thinner and transmit heat better than latex, so they feel much more like barebacking. They are more expensive than latex condoms, but probably less expensive than medical treatment for chlamydia, and far less expensive than hospice care for AIDS. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/9 "2012-01-11T11:14:28Z")
I’m so sorry. What a horrible thing for him to do to you. ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/10 "2012-01-11T13:00:45Z")
I know it’s the pit, and we’re supposed to get all in your shit etc. but I have nothing but sympathy. God DAMN he’s an asshole. “I don’t want a relationship AND by the way I have chlamydia”? What a fucking asshole. If anything, I hope this makes it easier to hate his guts. I’m sorry this happened to you. What a fucking prick. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/11 "2012-01-11T13:02:00Z")
Can you sue people for giving you STDs? I think you should be able to, if not. ---
**Author:** ![Baracus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2bfe46/32.png) [@Baracus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baracus)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/12 "2012-01-11T13:09:31Z")
What meds did the doctor give you? Some antibiotics can have pretty nasty side effects - which may include abdominal pain. If the pain is severe you should return to the doctor soon, as you may be having an averse reaction to the meds. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/13 "2012-01-11T14:52:50Z")
Wow, what an asshole! I’m so, so sorry. I had chlamydia when I was a teenager and it’s fully treatable, so if it turns out you do have it, you should be ok (though you need to realize that it can cause fertility issues - it’s a contributing factor to my fertility problems now). I hope, hope, hope he didn’t pass along anything else. What a dick. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/14 "2012-01-11T14:53:42Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > We had a relationship in 2008 - all the way to the the boyfriend/girlfriend Facebook-linked variety. > > We started dating again in December. He saw a prostitute in November. I had no idea. > > I didn’t mean to make it sound “casual and non-committed”. If he saw the hooker before you started dating again, he didn’t cheat on you. Of course seeing the hooker in the first place is skeevy and it sucks he gave you the clap. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/15 "2012-01-11T14:55:20Z")
I’m not one for internet hugs, but {{{ **Citizen** }}} anyway. I second what \*\*Baracus \*\*said about asking your doc about the medication’s side effects. Last month I had a course of antibiotics that did Horrible Things to my digestion and my doctor was able to give me an antidiarrheal medicine that made life livable. For your own safety, get screened for other STD’s as soon as you can because god knows what other “love bugs” he might have picked up and doesn’t know/didn’t tell you about. If the tests come back clean you’ll have peace of mind, and if god forbid something comes up at least you’ll know and can do something about it. I do hope you can enjoy ice cream again after this 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/16 "2012-01-11T14:56:19Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > Can you sue people for giving you STDs? I think you should be able to, if not. If it was done intentionally (or in some jurisdictions, with a substantial certainty of the result), [yes](http://www.personalinjurylawyer.com/resources/personal-injury/assault-victim/lawsuits-sexually-transmitted-diseases.htm). ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/17 "2012-01-11T15:11:30Z")
How about “Pumped and dumped by strumpet-humping chump”? ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/18 "2012-01-11T15:25:15Z")
While I don’t pay for sex, I have about a handful of friends that do. Some of them are married, and have been doing it for years (maybe even decades). Some even do the street hooker pickup thing, which is just plain nasty. But none of them have ever caught anything, as far as I know. All of my friends are open with each other, so I definitely would have been informed of it. You have to be one hell of a fuck-up to catch something from a hooker. Assuming that chlamydia is the only thing he might have passed on to you, you’re better off. Like I said, I know guys that do that kind of shit and they don’t stop, even when they’re in long term relationships. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/19 "2012-01-11T15:26:08Z")
Yep, it’s officially OK to hate a guy like that. ---
**Author:** ![Chicagojeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@Chicagojeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicagojeff)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2012, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/20 "2012-01-11T15:40:32Z")
> [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](#): > > While I don’t pay for sex, I have about a handful of friends that do. Some of them are married, and have been doing it for years (maybe even decades). Some even do the street hooker pickup thing, which is just plain nasty. But none of them have ever caught anything, as far as I know. All of my friends are open with each other, so I definitely would have been informed of it. You have to be one hell of a fuck-up to catch something from a hooker. Assuming that chlamydia is the only thing he might have passed on to you, you’re better off. Like I said, I know guys that do that kind of shit and they don’t stop, even when they’re in long term relationships. WOW.. if you bareback a hooker/prosititute/callgirl.. whatever dress up people want to use.. and then go home to the wife.. wow.. that’s all i can say. So sorry for you lady.. this to shall pass.. the remarkable ability of people to heal and grow is never challenged.. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144.md?page=2)