# I'm so upset I can't even think of a proper Pit title (ed: cheating ex and STD) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 11, 2012, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144 "2012-01-11T07:38:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/201 "2012-01-30T19:58:54Z")
Hey-- I’m trying not to! Give me credit. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/202 "2012-01-30T20:37:43Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Why are you still talking with this guy again? Duh. Free puppy. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/203 "2012-01-30T20:52:28Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Why are you still talking with this guy again? Because she doesn’t have friends where she lives, and she needs _someone_? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/204 "2012-01-30T21:52:08Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Because she doesn’t have friends where she lives, and she needs _someone_? I’m not sure being alone for the time being (that’s only a permanent situation if she wants it to be) is really worse than hanging out with the scumbag piece of shit who infected you with a disease that could cause life time issues, possibly impregnated you (in the worst possible way, to boot), potentially has given you a death sentence and has possibly deprived your child of a life with his mother (she still can’t know if she’s got HIV). . . all because the poor, poor guy has some issues with feelings and people. The emotional abuse from Mr. Doucheface is far more damaging then having to go through something like this alone, but it sounds like excuses will continue to be made for him. Which, by the way, is exactly why he treats people as he does-- he gets away with it. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/205 "2012-01-30T21:57:20Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > I’m not sure being alone for the time being (that’s only a permanent situation if she wants it to be) is really worse than hanging out with the scumbag piece of shit who infected you with a disease that could cause life time issues, possibly impregnated you (in the worst possible way, to boot), potentially has given you a death sentence and has possibly deprived your child of a life with his mother (she still can’t know if she’s got HIV). . . all because the poor, poor guy has some issues with feelings and people. > > The emotional abuse from Mr. Doucheface is far more damaging then having to go through something like this alone, but it sounds like excuses will continue to be made for him. Which, by the way, is exactly why he treats people as he does-- he gets away with it. I see your point- if it were me, I’d let him go and wouldn’t be contacting him again. But I can also see why the OP has him helping her with this. What she’s going through is scary and painful, and she’s fairly young, and alone. I’m going to cut her some slack here. She obviously feels like she can’t go through this alone, and he’s the only one there for her right now. Now, when this is all over and she’s still calling him, then I will give her a stern look of disapproval. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/206 "2012-01-30T22:35:57Z")
The OP sounds like she is fairly deluded, convinced that there is some chance of somehow being a couple and it being good. Even if she denies that’s what she is wanting its pretty clear. She is wrong, of course, but these fantasies are a part of the process and there isn’t a ton to do about it. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2012, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/207 "2012-01-30T23:28:00Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > I see your point- if it were me, I’d let him go and wouldn’t be contacting him again. But I can also see why the OP has him helping her with this. What she’s going through is scary and painful, and she’s fairly young, and alone. I’m going to cut her some slack here. She obviously feels like she can’t go through this alone, and he’s the only one there for her right now. Now, when this is all over and she’s still calling him, then I will give her a stern look of disapproval. But, of course, he’s not with her at the clinic because she told him not to be… ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/208 "2012-01-31T00:00:30Z")
Can’t seem to win. There’s a yolk sac, no embryo yet. So they said maybe 5 weeks. 😕 His reaction when I talked to him had nothing to do with how I felt. Only his feelings. I yelled and hung up. I have to process this and start drinking before I get too depressed. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/209 "2012-01-31T00:05:46Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > Can’t seem to win. There’s a yolk sac, no embryo yet. So they said maybe 5 weeks. 😕 > > His reaction when I talked to him had nothing to do with how I felt. Only his feelings. I yelled and hung up. I have to process this and start drinking before I get too depressed. Yah, he’s a jerk. You already knew that. So, sac but no embryo- is that normal? Did they indicate if it’s a viable pregnancy? A drink or two might help to relax you, but keep in mind that it’s a depressant, and you may end up feeling worse if you have too much. Take care of yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/210 "2012-01-31T00:08:49Z")
They said yes if I’m earlier than thought. They also did another blood draw. I’ve barely been able to get excited about anything . A drink may at least let me sleep. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/211 "2012-01-31T00:40:13Z")
How long do they plan on waiting exactly? Once you’re over 9 weeks, getting rid of stuff is a bit more complicated. After 13 weeks, it’s even more complicated than that. Nurse and doctor Dopers, is what’s described normal? And I assume the “yolk sack” is in your uterus, not your tubes then? That’s good at least. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/212 "2012-01-31T00:56:18Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > How long do they plan on waiting exactly? Once you’re over 9 weeks, getting rid of stuff is a bit more complicated. After 13 weeks, it’s even more complicated than that. Nurse and doctor Dopers, is what’s described normal? > > And I assume the “yolk sack” is in your uterus, not your tubes then? That’s good at least. IANAD or nurse, but according to what I’ve been able to suss out online and in my old textbooks is that the yolk sac shows up pretty early on, ~2 weeks but the embryo itself doesn’t show up until 5-6 weeks. The yolk sac is taken to be a definite sign of pregnancy since they are only produced by fertilized eggs but it’s too early to tell if the embryo is healthy or viable. I sure hope this means it’s not in the fallopian tube, because if it is and they haven’t done anything they’re letting you walk around with a time bomb in your lady parts. And if it’s in your uterus, and if you have any intention whatsoever of trying to bring this pregnancy to term, for God’s sake lay off the sauce. You do not need a child with fetal alcohol syndrome and all the trouble that brings with it on top of your other problems. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/213 "2012-01-31T01:09:35Z")
Crud, that should be yolk sac shows up on ultrasound at ~5 weeks and I missed the edit window :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/214 "2012-01-31T08:46:26Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > Thank you, even, for reaching out despite our differences. I do have that book and it needs another read -through. 🙂 > > He’s been acting a little too nice lately and I told him we could never progress beyond this point. I’m at the clinic alone. I told him I needed space after this ultrasound. 😕 That’s a good start - well done you 🙂 How did the ultrasound go? I hope you got the news you wanted, and are doing okay. (edit - oops, just saw the latest post. Don’t know if that’s what you wanted to hear or not) ☹ ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/215 "2012-01-31T16:54:11Z")
> [@hermette](#): > > edit - oops, just saw the latest post. Don’t know if that’s what you wanted to hear or not ☹ That’s kind of the confusing piece here—what _do_ you want to hear, **CP**? Seems like hearing that this is not ectopic and normal for this stage would be a good thing—no matter what you decide, these 2 facts mean fewer complications. How far along did you think you were? This thread started 3 weeks ago, and at that time the issue was chlamydia. Since then, we’ve had a positive pregnancy test, suspicion of ectopic, 2 ER visits, lots of blood work, almost an entire week waiting to rule out ectopic, and now an ultrasound that shows that it is not ectopic and looks normal for 5 or 6 weeks. That is a lot to go through in 21 days, I’ll say that. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_I\_Am](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@Sam\_I\_Am](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_I_Am)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2012, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/216 "2012-01-31T23:56:00Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > That’s kind of the confusing piece here—what _do_ you want to hear, **CP**? > Seems like hearing that this is not ectopic and normal for this stage would be a good thing—no matter what you decide, these 2 facts mean fewer complications. Just a guess, but although an ectopic is much more of a health risk to deal with, it would have meant there was no tough decision to make. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/217 "2012-02-01T03:28:54Z")
> [@Sam\_I\_Am](#): > > Just a guess, but although an ectopic is much more of a health risk to deal with, it would have meant there was no tough decision to make. Pretty much that. Because I don’t have health insurance, I don’t have a regular doc, so I guess it’s part of my frustration - feeling like I’m being bounced from one to another. (The clinic I’ve been going to is really great, but I see whoever is on service that day.) ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/218 "2012-02-01T05:21:40Z")
**CtitzenPained** , I hope you feel better, in all ways. I do have a question, though…did you ever actually have a positive test for Chlamydia, or any other STD? I read through the thread, and saw that you had received antibiotics, and that you had/have ongoing pain, but that PID was ruled out. I couldn’t tell if you’d actually come up positive for anything, though. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/219 "2012-02-01T15:40:03Z")
I wasn’t tested till after treated, so there was never a positive test. I can get financial aid for my current bills re: pregnancy because I’m currently pregnant, but I don’t want to keep it (however counter-maternal it may be), so I’m in this weird spot. I feel like a fraud, kinda. “I can’t pay for $6k in bills - help? Oh P.S. I’m going to abort this alien!” I hate the healthcare system. I still have cramps off and on. According to message boards online (yeah, I know), it happens to some - right after ovulation til whenever. I’m exhausted. I called in sick to work and my boss wants a meeting with me tomorrow, so I think I really fucked it up. I won’t say I was happy a month ago, but it wasn’t this bad. Since then, I’ve had tooth pain, a broken car, a failed relationship, and this pregnancy thing. Whatever issues I thought I had before seem like cake. 😉 I guess eventually the bad luck has to stop, right? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/220 "2012-02-01T17:06:02Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > Re: Condoms: I did try a LifeStyles brand and had an uncomfortable, but somewhat tolerable, result (though Trojans and other regular ones are 10x worse). Just to make sure, we’re talking about the Lifestyles Skyn polyisoprene condoms, right, not the other kinds of Lifestyles condoms? (They come in a black package.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144.md?page=12)