# I'm so upset I can't even think of a proper Pit title (ed: cheating ex and STD) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 11, 2012, 7:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144 "2012-01-11T07:38:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/121 "2012-01-25T05:47:59Z")
Yup - the best treatment for all of this is a clean sweep - clean out the std, clean out the ectopic pregnancy, and clean out all contact with him. ETA: That was for **Diosa**. You can contact HIM when you have a total of your medical expenses - he doesn’t need to contact you. By the way, don’t count on him paying for anything - he’s a massive jerk, and massive jerks don’t tend to pay for things they should pay for. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/122 "2012-01-25T06:33:43Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > I didn’t hit him. I did cry and yell a little, but then he cried too and I’m a mess. Too bad if I was the cop that showed up to this and saw a woman yelling “you fucked a hooker, gave me an STD, got me pregnant, and NOW YOU WANNA BAIL!” Between punches. I would have handed you my baton and said “here hun, use this, I’ll hold him” ---
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/123 "2012-01-25T06:38:38Z")
Your inbox is full again 🙂 Skittles? If you pm me your snail mail address I would love to send you a parcel of skittley goodness. A bit of extra sugar will help I’m sure. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/124 "2012-01-25T08:29:02Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > I posted on his FB wall something like: _Thanks for fucking those hookers, giving me chlamydia, knocking me up and then dumping me. Yeah, dating you has been AMAZING._ > > I’ve \*\*never \*\*done anything like that before. I have gotten upset and cried these last few weeks, but that kind of drama? No way! I know it pissed him off and it was really immature, but he deleted it quickly. Luckily, we don’t have FB friends in common. **CitizenPained** , I barely know you, but even I am all riled up here and wanting to go post crap on his Wall for you. (I’m guessing it’s against the rules though, for you to post the link so we can all tell him what we think of him…) And yes, demand the $1000 and the puppy. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/125 "2012-01-25T08:57:03Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > Too bad if I was the cop that showed up to this and saw a woman yelling “you fucked a hooker, gave me an STD, got me pregnant, and NOW YOU WANNA BAIL!” Between punches. > > I would have handed you my baton and said “here hun, use this, I’ll hold him” :: bright idea :: I can tell my students! They’ll put a hit out on him. > [@madrabbitwoman](#): > > Your inbox is full again 🙂 > Skittles? > If you pm me your snail mail address I would love to send you a parcel of skittley goodness. A bit of extra sugar will help I’m sure. Fixed. Sorry - I actually deleted a lot this time. SKITTLES? NO GELATIN SKITTLES? We need a love smiley! > [@hermette](#): > > **CitizenPained** , I barely know you, but even I am all riled up here and wanting to go post crap on his Wall for you. > > (I’m guessing it’s against the rules though, for you to post the link so we can all tell him what we think of him…) > > And yes, demand the $1000 and the puppy. You know, I do have bills to pay. I want a Havanese. I always thought I’d never get a dog I could put into my purse, but hey. I have an apartment. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/126 "2012-01-25T16:16:59Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > It would have been easy for David to stay and help out. But he’s so damned uncomfortable in his own skin when he’s at that stress level that I could just tell I should let him go. He stayed in bed next to me when I tried to sleep, but then I was jolted awake by a pelvic spasm and he said he had to get going, had to take anti depressant meds and be in his own space. I understand, but I’m a little worried about the fever. What an asshole. Don’t let him come anywhere near you ever again. Don’t ask him to help out, just erase him from your life. He’s sub-human. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/127 "2012-01-25T16:54:23Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > …the way he can shut off his emotions is a little alarming. Or just bipolar. Some people can do this…I can, then again I was an EMT for a while. So I have seen hundreds of examples of co-worker wading through a familys worst nightmares and going straight to lunch. Its a defense mechanism, albeit not one you should be applying to a significant other. In one respect, I applaud his move, he hit his limit, and rather than becoming a bigger part of the problem he walked away. Shitty, yes, but if the guy is as much of a whackjob as has been implied, he probably did you a favor. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/128 "2012-01-25T17:27:57Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > \ > > Shitty, yes, but if the guy is as much of a whackjob as has been implied, he probably did you a favor. Agreed. A crappy as this whole situation is, a worse one would be raising a kid with this guy. ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/129 "2012-01-25T17:50:03Z")
If you need someone to help you during the actual procedure, there are probably a few of us around here who would be glad to help provide transportation. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/130 "2012-01-25T18:31:44Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Agreed. A crappy as this whole situation is, a worse one would be raising a kid with this guy. I agree. Neither of us are financially stable. I’m a great mom, but do I want another kid? No. Yes. Kind of. Not now. Not like this. > [@Necros](#): > > If you need someone to help you during the actual procedure, there are probably a few of us around here who would be glad to help provide transportation. …really? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/131 "2012-01-25T18:43:58Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > I agree. Neither of us are financially stable. I’m a great mom, but do I want another kid? No. Yes. Kind of. Not now. Not like this.\ You forgot, “Not with him.” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/132 "2012-01-25T18:46:16Z")
Sure. That’s a horrible, unpleasant, awkward thing to go through, even if it is something that has to be done, and would suck to have to do it alone, or not do what is necessary because you can’t get a ride. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/133 "2012-01-25T19:18:50Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > You forgot, “Not with him.” 🙂 Totally. I also need someone who is at least as good looking as I am. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/134 "2012-01-25T19:20:15Z")
> [@Necros](#): > > Sure. That’s a horrible, unpleasant, awkward thing to go through, even if it is something that has to be done, and would suck to have to do it alone, or not do what is necessary because you can’t get a ride. Thank you. I may PM after I hear what the doc says Monday. They said by then it should be big enough to spot. If not, they’ll assume ectopic and go from there. Either methotrexate or surgery \. ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/135 "2012-01-25T19:25:43Z")
Sounds good! ETA: Not the procedure/surgery/etc. just the PM plan. ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2012, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/136 "2012-01-25T19:31:09Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > No excuses. I do have sympathy for mental illness…though I guess part of it is: I let him stick the dick in my pretty, so he can’t be _that_ bad. You ever hear of the phrase “Don’t stick your dick in the crazy?” That’s what you did, only with the opposite genetalia, of course. You got dicked by the crazy. You put your vagina on the crazy. I don’t really know what else to say. I’ve given my advice before and it was unheeded. It’s not that I didn’t expect that. When I was going through an on-again-off-again toxic relationship myself, my therapist just looked at me and said “Only you can decide when you’re done. Nobody else. It may not be the first breakup, it may not be the tenth. There will just be one day where you wake up, realize that he’s not worth all the bullshit, and you’ll be over him.” And damned if it didn’t happen one day, just like a lightswitch flicked on. It wasn’t the first breakup. It wasn’t the fourth, fifth, sixth…Maybe closer to tenth? But after that lightswitch flipped, I never looked back. As a person who was in a similar spot at one point, I really really really hope your metaphorical lightswitch gets flipped someday, before he affects you even worse, beyond all he has done now. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/137 "2012-01-26T03:23:47Z")
I agree. But there’s something that feels so…counter-intuitive about an abortion. It has a heartbeat. I’m not all “abortion is murder!” or anything like that. I think I’m just…human. ---
**Author:** ![Septima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@Septima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Septima)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/138 "2012-01-26T07:05:32Z")
It’s not supposed to be an easy decision. It’s totally OK to feel conflicted. And remember that no one is forcing you. This is your choice to make. Whichever way you choose will be the right one. (Just re-read that, and now it looks like I’m trying to talk you out of the abortion. I’m not. I’m just trying to say that whatever feelings you feel are right and appropriate, and that you really do have a lot of control over the situation, even if it doesn’t feel that way.) ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/139 "2012-01-26T07:26:20Z")
He asked if I’d take 3k, a dog, and a milkshake in exchange for an abortion. We’d been calling it “the alien”, so PP has been dubbed “Alien Removal Services”. If I weren’t pregnant, I’d go get drunk right now. I have to be up in 3 hours for work. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2012, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144/140 "2012-01-26T07:28:22Z")
What flavor is the milkshake? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/im-so-upset-i-cant-even-think-of-a-proper-pit-title-ed-cheating-ex-and-std/609144.md?page=8)